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Reasons for coming out??

Started by Lutin, February 20, 2009, 04:28:23 AM

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Lutin

I couldn't find this elsewhere, so sorry if I'm repeating something that's already been covered, but -

If you've come out to people, what made you want/need to come out? Why did you do it? Was it the inability to hide anymore? The need to talk it through with people? If you've not come out but want to - why? (If you don't mind my asking :P).

I came out to one of my close friends 'cause I needed someone to talk to about it, and after a while came out to some others (though not all yet) because I felt that I needed them to know about me (and wanted to *not* be treated as "one of the girls"), and to my parents because, again, I was tired of being treated as "the girl" and couldn't bring myself to answer to "Hey, where's the girl? Anyone seen the girl? WHERE'S OUR GIRL???" anymore (though nothing's changed there, in the end :P).

Cheers,

Will
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Natalie3174

well by the time Lando shot at the generator I was allready on my way out...Or was that wedge?
Anyway we blew that thing sky high!
KABOOM..Death Star allright!
YahOOO!
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Lutin

Lando destroys the actual core of the main reactor, while Wedge destroys the power regulator on the core's northwest tower. ;D

And yes, that was certainly a spectacular "coming out". :laugh:
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Natalie3174

well the real reason I came out was because I was bought by the trade federation for 365 million Galaxy credits. They said I am good for trade because I advertise Brand names and do Porno's for the Brasil trans scene. They said they are sought of like the Mafia on this planet and I dont have a choice! They will allow me to buy my own home the girls said from Brasil.
I love those girls so much for helping me transition. It beats sleeping on the street! Now like Christina says IT keeps getting better..I am becoming really sexy under transition from Brasil spirits.
PLease dont hurt me for this but I dont seem to have a choice. I suppose when the Mafia buys you it means they control you through different means. To be honest the things that have come my way since 2006 when they purchased me IN Coffs Harbour spin me out. Im looking prettier and prettier.
I was all alone and I gave up and was not wondering what to do but they have fed and clothed me and got doctors in from the UK to give me HRT. THey are kind! I see how the Mafia helps now. Especially us girls...
I know that Jelissa Jaconi and Kat and Bri were purchased also for different reasons.. I will talk to them oneday about it when I wake up and see them IRL! I hope they are well!
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Jay

I came out as I was sick to death of hiding and pretending to be a "girl" and hopelessly trying to fit in with other women and was sick of being looked at like a butch lesbian!

Jay


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paulault55

I'm M2F and came out to my stepfather and best friend mainly because i trust them and the changes are getting noticed by others,  I  especially don't want my stepfather put in a situation where someone asks and he's like wtf are they talking about, my best friend would probably tell someone to shut the F up and deal with it if they asked. Just telling them took a big load off me mentally, especially since they accepted it and I now have someone i can talk to about what I'm going through. Each week I am becoming more androgynous in appearance so when finally come out to others it might not be as big a deal, but there will always be those that won't accept.

Paula.




I am a Mcginn Girl May 9 2011
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sneakersjay

I came out because I started transition and was sick of pretending to be a woman, and pretending badly.

Jay


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Miniar

First person I "almost" came out to, by making a joking remark about how I should have been born a boy (trying to cushion the blow or something to that effect.. ), reacted with such hostility and snide counter remarks that it hurt like a **** and made me step further into the closet and put chains on the doors.
Two years later I met my current partner and decided that I was not going to allow myself to enter into another self-destructive relationship where I felt like I had to hide in general to avoid a verbal thrashing so I half blurted it out before we were remotely serious. I needed to know that I could be "me" and it would be okay, and I couldn't allow myself to get serious without knowing for a fact that I could be "me" in the relationship. He more or less just shrugged and went "cool by me" and obviously that caused a massive tension drop on my end and left me reeling for a couple of days.
Was my first true taste of "actual" acceptance. Not just "an acceptance of certain parts" but an acceptance of my whole self. Since then, the idea of other people having a problem, taking offense to "me" (not their bloody business I know), just doesn't seem as bad.



"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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imaz

I wish I could have come out but my gender issues were known since childhood and my mum even outed me to my teachers asking them to go easy on me.

Of course the result was hell for me as well as being outed to all my family who have always considered me the family Gay.

Sure I was Gay if Gay is preferring girls...
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Nero

more because i'm the world's worst secret keeper. can't keep a secret about myself to save my life. so once i admitted and accepted to myself i was trans, couldn't keep it in very long.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Jamie-o

I can't say I really want to come out, but I think people will notice when I grow a beard.
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Lutin

Beard's probably a bit of a giveaway... Then again, every night for a week I came home from a play I was in dressed in my normal clothes but with my fake stage moustache still on and no-one saw my "outing" coming, even though I wore it 'round the house for hours afterwards. :P
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Nicky

I came out because I needed support. I was isolated and feeling very lonely despite being surrounded by friends and family. After a bad weekend I finaly went to see a counsellor and we quickly figured out that I needed support. I decided the best way to do this was to come out. One thing I did not expect was a feeling that I am now more real. I'm putting my androgyne face forward and it feels good to approach the world as myself. Things are good, but still a little new and scary. Now I can talk about it, I don't have to hide.
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Natalie3174

Another reason I came out was because there were flying bats of somekind and Han said "This is no cave!"
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Aiden

I came out partly because I felt obligated to not keep my family in the dark.  Plus I knew when the changes started they would need to know or they would start to wonder.

That and I am terrible at keeping my own secrets.
Every day we pass people, do we see them or the mask they wear?
If you live under a mask long enough, does it eventually break or wear down?  Does it become part you?  Maybe alone, they are truly themselves?  Or maybe they have forgotten or buried themselves so long, they forget they are not a mask?
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Janet_Girl

#15
My wife and I kept fighting over my GID  And one night we got drunk, had a big fight.

The next morning I got up to go to work, I was very hung over and depressed.  So I walked out to the garage and got a razor blade.  I went in to the shower, easy clean up, and slit my wrist.  I was done fight and it was time to die.

I heard a woman scream "No", very loudly.  I looked up, think I would see my wife.  But no one was there, so I went to do the other and she screamed again.  I then realized that it was the inner woman screaming.  I got a wash cloth, put on some shorts and a tee shirt.  I went to the living room and called 911.

Well, I ended up in the physic ward.  And there I had time to think.  And I decided that when I got home, I was going to tell the wife.

Shortly there after we sold the house and divorced.  I am now full time for 6 months and I could not be happier.


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myles

I came out to friends for a few reasons:
I felt like a liar couldn't tell them what was really going on in my life
I wanted to have someone to talk to (honestly)
I was tired about hearing smart a$$ comments about men all the time
Now I get to come out to more people everyday because I am going to start T and don't want them to freak out on me
Myles
"A life lived in fear is a life half lived"
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Randy

Reasons for coming out to...

People who knew me before T:
T changes are hard to hide (not that I'd want to). They notice I'm changing, so they have to be told. Also, so I won't be referred to as a girl.

People who know me as a guy:
I don't go around introducing myself as trans, but if the topic comes up I don't have any huge issues outing myself. I think if we ever expect our society to change, to become more accepting, we need people to know one of us. They need to ask questions, and see that we're not freaks of the Jerry Springer variety. If I'm in a position to facilitate trans education than I'll try to do what I can

BTW, Miniar, I've been meaning to say I LOVE your dancing GIR. He makes me smile every time!  ;D

Miniar

Quote from: Randy on March 17, 2009, 10:40:59 AM
BTW, Miniar, I've been meaning to say I LOVE your dancing GIR. He makes me smile every time!  ;D

Thanks. :) Glad he's sparking smiles too.

I think that I will have to come out to people that I haven't come out to yet, because I want to transition. And I don't want to loose my job or anything, so they have to know before hand.



"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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K8

I finally decided to come out because I needed to be more open with my friends about who and what I am.

My wife, the love of my life, died after a long, difficult illness.  It took me a long time to get over that, but once I did I found I was still blocked somehow.  I finally realized I needed to be more open about having a man's body but not being a man.  After all these years I felt I needed to stop hiding an essential part of who I am (from my friends, but also from myself).  With the support of my counsellor I began telling my friends.

And so it goes.  My friends are accepting and, finally, I am more accepting of myself.  And so life keeps getting better.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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