Quote from: Nero on March 22, 2009, 09:33:25 PM
Maybe being with a biomale will actually help your dysphoria.

How? His penis would constantly remind me of what I lack.

Maybe once you get to know one intimately, it won't seem like the big deal it is now.

once you see it as a sexual object - a toy for your own pleasure, it loses all mystery and pretense. it's not about the penis but what you can do with it, what it can do for you.

Quote from: Elwood on March 22, 2009, 09:23:03 PM
@ Monty: Good point. But it seems so much easier for everyone else.

And it probably always will. The major difference is that we aren't those people so we can't know 100% how they feel or what they're going through exactly. Everything will always seem much more amplified when we feel it directly, which is why when someone warns us not to do something, in some scenarios we have to learn the lesson the hard way to actually understand the true effect of things.

I do hope you get things sorted out for yourself. It's no fun feeling like you're stuck in the dark.

Intimacy isn't just about what "parts" people have. There's a lot more to it than that, at least if it's between you and someone you love. Just tossing that out there. When you're in a relationship, "sex" isn't just sex. It's intimacy, which is a totally different level than "sex".

Like I said in my first post, it's definitely going to be a good idea to lay off the sex for a while until you're sure you're comfortable in every way with each other.

Quote from: Monty on March 22, 2009, 10:25:23 PM
And it probably always will. The major difference is that we aren't those people so we can't know 100% how they feel or what they're going through exactly. Everything will always seem much more amplified when we feel it directly, which is why when someone warns us not to do something, in some scenarios we have to learn the lesson the hard way to actually understand the true effect of things.

That's a huge part of all this.  It's all in how you look at things.  You have to know that you can be with someone in order to be with someone, not the other way around.  I know it's hard to get in line with all of this.  But if you're unsure about your ability to be with someone, other people will pick up on that.  A positive outlook makes a world of difference.  You said that you feel like the world is mistreating you, right?  I've been there, believe me.  But finally, I realized that point of view wasn't working out very well.  So I worked on me instead of waiting for the world to change for me.  Think of it in terms of who's in control.  Are you going to let the world control you?  Or are you going to control your own world?  It takes practice, but it works.

Quote from: Elwood on March 22, 2009, 06:08:26 PM
I used to think relationships could happen without sex, but people say that the only difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex.

Untrue. There's a world of difference.  Otherwise, where on earth would friends-with-benefits fit in?

Anyone who says it's not a relationship without sex is sadly mistaken.

Quote from: Jaimey on March 23, 2009, 01:22:32 AM
That's a huge part of all this.  It's all in how you look at things.  You have to know that you can be with someone in order to be with someone, not the other way around.  I know it's hard to get in line with all of this.  But if you're unsure about your ability to be with someone, other people will pick up on that.  A positive outlook makes a world of difference.  You said that you feel like the world is mistreating you, right?  I've been there, believe me.  But finally, I realized that point of view wasn't working out very well.  So I worked on me instead of waiting for the world to change for me.  Think of it in terms of who's in control.  Are you going to let the world control you?  Or are you going to control your own world?  It takes practice, but it works.

This is exactly what I mean. Thank you for wording it right, Jaimey.

I was just taking my cue from you (and your awesome video), Monty!   

lol weeeell I'm a pansexual transguy soooo hell I'm not so unique I bet theres tons of gay,bi,or pansexual transguys that are super awesome and would looofs you just go get 'em tiger! hmmm make a shirt! that always attracts people xD honestly though I know how you feel I don't think I'd ever be able to date a biological man because as i have been so lovingly told...i will never be completely male meh