I heard this on the radio, and I thought of all our musicians.

QuoteWhat would you have if a grand piano fell down a mine shaft?

A Minor *

* A flat Miner

ROFL!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS XDDD

That's great!    Reminds me of my favorite lines from The Goonies (Loved that movie when I was a kid.)

A girl is trying to play a piece of piano music.  Every time she gets a note wrong part of the floor falls away into a gaping pit.  She and her friends are barely manging to balance on the last remaining piece of floor:

"I can't tell if this is an A-sharp or a B-flat!"
"If you get it wrong, we'll all be flat!"

(Note for the non-musical among you:  A-sharp and B-flat are the same note.)

Q:What's the difference between a violin and a cello?

A: A cello takes longer to burn.

Oh Janet!

What jumps up and down at the bottom of the sea?

A nervous wreck

Sorry
Cindy James

The piano joke is so bad it deserves no comment. Q. What do you call attorneys who skydive? A. Skeet.

Q: How do you get two violin players to play in tune?

A: Shoot one of them.

What do you throw to a drowning bass player?

Their amp.

Still plugged in.   

One would hope so.

Quote from: tekla on March 15, 2009, 08:11:32 AM
What do you throw to a drowning bass player?
Their amp.

As a bass player.... It's nice to know you can count on your friends to help when you are in trouble 

Im so glad I water proofed my speaker cab, and use an RCD

Chrissty

What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

(Just for the record, I'm a devout alto  )

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.

How do you get a guitarist to play slower?
Put music in front of him.

Why can't a gorilla play sousaphone?
Gorillas are too sensitive.

What's the difference between God and a conductor?
God knows He's not a conductor.

Who makes the best Viola mutes?
Smith & Wesson.

What do you call a drummer without a girl friend?
Homeless.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a banjo player's car?
Remove the Domino's Pizza sign from the roof.

What is the range of a banjo?
About 10 meters if you throw it hard enough.

A man parks his car and walks into an office building. As he gets to the elevator, he says "Oh no! I left my b->-bleeped-<-ipes on the back seat of my car! He runs back to the car. When he gets there, he finds a window smashed out and on the back seat are two more sets of b->-bleeped-<-ipes.

"I'm told that Wagner's music is not as bad as it sounds." - Mark Twain

Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a banjo player's car?
Remove the Domino's Pizza sign from the roof.

Great, I like that.  But, what the difference between a drummer and a large Domino's Pizza?  The pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you get rid of the singer songwriter at your front door? 
Pay them for the pizza

Definition of a perfect pitch
when you throw a banjo into a dumpster, and it lands on the accordion, without touching the walls of the dumpster

Z

How do you know when there's a soprano at your door?

She can't find the key and she doesn't know when to come in.

Dennis

What's the definition of an optimist?
An accordion player with a pager.

Q: What does it mean when a guitarist is drooling from both corners of the mouth?
A: The stage is level.

And, yes, I am a guitarist.

A violist was hiking in the mountains, and he came upon a shepherd who was tending a large herd of sheep that were grazing in the alpine meadow. The violist took a fancy to the sheep, and asked the shepherd: "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?" The shepherd thought this was an odd request, but thought that there was little chance that the man would guess the exact number of sheep, so he said "Sure." The violist guessed "You have 287 sheep," to the shepherd's astonishment, since this was exactly how many sheep he had. The violist got all excited and asked "Can I pick out my sheep now?" and the shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. The violist selected his sheep, bent over, and swung the sheep over his shoulders, to carry home with him. The shepherd then got an idea and asked "If I guess what your occupation is, can I have my sheep back?" The violist was a bit surprised by this, but figured that it was unlikely that the shepherd would be able to guess his occupation, and went along with the deal. The shepherd then guessed "You're a violist, aren't you?" The violist was very surprised and asked "How did you know?" to which the shepherd responded "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it."

Oh deer