Ok you all, so why am I posting at all and even in the Transgender section?

Good question. Looked around and this seemed the most appropriate place.

So, my point is that I came here for interesting discussions concerning politics, gender, discrimination, ethnicity, religion etc. All of these of course in regards to us TS/TG people.

However most of the discussion on here seems to be about heels, binders, make-up, passing or not, hormones, FFS (LOL at acronym), SRS, clothes and worst of all the horror subject: who is or isn't a woman, man, TS, TG and so on.

To be honest it horrified me and put me off the whole community which in real life I have no contact with for the same reasons. Am I the only person who feels alienated by this whole obsession? Maybe it's because I hang around with lesbians but I never come across anything this obsessive in my everyday life.

Why can't we just behave like normal men and women and androgynes and stop being so weird? Just talk about normal things be that football, girls, boys, books or even clothes in a normal male or female way.

Please don't be offended although I realise this may appear to be offensive to many of you. if you are offended please tell me why.

One last thing, I have to say that the Androgynes on this site are a bastion of sanity. Big up to you all!

Yes.

But on occassion, these issues need discussing.

No doubt people need to discuss things that matter to them. And it's difficult sometimes to remember that what is old hat and no longer of interest to me may be life and death to those just starting. I mean, I recall, when I really stop to think about it, how wonderfully ignorant and frightened I was when I first began.

I have to admit I could really care less about what other's wear and how much lipglosss is enough, too much etc. Or whether or not this binder or that prosthetic is preferrable to another.

That being the case you'll see most of my participation in Politics, Activism, General Discussions, Blogthings (that's just too important!!! LOL) and things that I have an interest in.

That others have other interests doesn't bother me much. I have to admit I do dislike seeing the same topics arise again and again when they seem predictably annoying to some and of major impact for their efficacy top others, but I do something very simple about them. I don't read or comment on them. And then wait around for the inevitable slap-fight to break out so I can lock the topic or delete it.

Nor do you often see me in other venues on this board making comments because, tbh, when people reach certain points in their transitions they generally have enough knowledge to get through it without a lot of help from me. If they want hand-holding then others do quite well from  my reading of helping with that.

So, I move to what interests me. Like this post.

It's like reading a newspaper or a series of novels: I take what appeals and leave the rest for someone it appeals to. Seems to work quite well for me.

Nichole   

Thank you for the reply. I agree with all that you said, just find it hard to cope with the cliquey "scene" like behaviour of some. Maybe it's because I haven't been around it too much in the Gay community despite 90% of my friends being lesbian or maybe as I said I just find it boring and unreal.

Maybe it's just a cultural thing or maybe it's just what happens when one marries a psychologist.

Imagine what it's like to be one and be partnered with one!!

So, ignore the cliques as well. Heck, it's the internet!!

Quote from: Nichole on March 27, 2009, 03:31:53 PM
Imagine what it's like to be one and be partnered with one!!

I'm lost for words!

Mind you I've got used to it although to be honest a psychologist was the last person I thought I would end up with!

as I just started HRT just a few weeks ago, I joined here mainly to get more information on the subject, and to read about other people's experiences with it. I think we can still be interested in some of those things without caring for cliques or being troublemakers (I hate those too), especially those of us who are just beginning our journey but have been on it all our lives. I do like the way Susan clamps down on those who try to divide the gender spectrum into stereotypes and labels, who is or isn't "true", etc. Those kind of things we can definitely do without; there's enough of that in the world already.

Fully agree, you said it beautifully.

Very interesting topic. I've been thinking along those lines myself. Honestly I'm fed up with my own obsession with it. I just want to be... simply be.

Yes, sometimes I get bored, which is part of why I like the crazy threads in the androgyne forum.  However, I don't think it is so much obsession always.  People often have balanced interests, only spending a portion of their life on transgender issues.  However, for other interests they talk to people in real life, not here, so we don't hear about them as much.

Quote from: imaz on March 27, 2009, 08:18:07 AM
So, my point is that I came here for interesting discussions concerning politics, gender, discrimination, ethnicity, religion etc. All of these of course in regards to us TS/TG people.

However most of the discussion on here seems to be about heels, binders, make-up, passing or not, hormones, FFS (LOL at acronym), SRS, clothes and worst of all the horror subject: who is or isn't a woman, man, TS, TG and so on.

Interesting question. I want to start by apologizing if I have offended or angered you with any of my posts regarding politics, etc. (and I know I have, because you said so). For just that reason I feel pretty much the opposite of you: All the discussion of politics, religion, ethnicity, discrimination, is so thorny that it tends to get out of hand really quickly, and I'm getting increasingly sick of it. I'm here because it's a support site, and I want to have some contact with other people dealing with the day-to-day issues that I deal with. Most of those are personal, not societal.

I value the political discussion, because it's a way to get somewhat more diverse viewpoints, but there's a lot of humanity lost over the Internet, and that tends to make it easy to be incredibly offensive without realizing it. Nuance and compassion are out the window.

I agree about the "horror subject" -- because it seems to me more akin to politics to me. Whether I or anyone else is a "real" whatever doesn't come up in my daily life. But however you classify the subject of classification, I hate discussing it.

But please don't let that discourage you from discussing what you want; there's room for both on this site. And thank you for all your contributions to the discussions.

~Alyssa

Quote from: Alyssa M. on March 27, 2009, 07:22:09 PM
Interesting question. I want to start by apologizing if I have offended or angered you with any of my posts regarding politics, etc. (and I know I have, because you said so). For just that reason I feel pretty much the opposite of you: All the discussion of politics, religion, ethnicity, discrimination, is so thorny that it tends to get out of hand really quickly, and I'm getting increasingly sick of it. I'm here because it's a support site, and I want to have some contact with other people dealing with the day-to-day issues that I deal with. Most of those are personal, not societal.

I value the political discussion, because it's a way to get somewhat more diverse viewpoints, but there's a lot of humanity lost over the Internet, and that tends to make it easy to be incredibly offensive without realizing it. Nuance and compassion are out the window.

I agree about the "horror subject" -- because it seems to me more akin to politics to me. Whether I or anyone else is a "real" whatever doesn't come up in my daily life. But however you classify the subject of classification, I hate discussing it.

But please don't let that discourage you from discussing what you want; there's room for both on this site. And thank you for all your contributions to the discussions.

~Alyssa

No worries Alyssa, I'm not offended and please forgive me if I've been rude to you.

I admit I can lose it about the "horror subject", Israel/Palestine, the so-called War on Terror and of course racism and Islamophobia.

What I really was looking for here was discussion about everyday things from the perspective of fellow TS/TG people. I had hoped, naively, that there would be a more tolerant and thoughtful vision of our World and indeed sometimes there is one.

So, as I said, no offence meant and none taken

Quote from: imaz on March 27, 2009, 08:18:07 AM
Ok you all, so why am I posting at all and even in the Transgender section?

Good question. Looked around and this seemed the most appropriate place.

So, my point is that I came here for interesting discussions concerning politics, gender, discrimination, ethnicity, religion etc. All of these of course in regards to us TS/TG people.

However most of the discussion on here seems to be about heels, binders, make-up, passing or not, hormones, FFS (LOL at acronym), SRS, clothes and worst of all the horror subject: who is or isn't a woman, man, TS, TG and so on.

To be honest it horrified me and put me off the whole community which in real life I have no contact with for the same reasons. Am I the only person who feels alienated by this whole obsession? Maybe it's because I hang around with lesbians but I never come across anything this obsessive in my everyday life.

Why can't we just behave like normal men and women and androgynes and stop being so weird? Just talk about normal things be that football, girls, boys, books or even clothes in a normal male or female way.

Please don't be offended although I realise this may appear to be offensive to many of you. if you are offended please tell me why.

One last thing, I have to say that the Androgynes on this site are a bastion of sanity. Big up to you all!

It's certainly a valid reason. I think some of the reason why we're so focused on it is that this is one of the few places we can talk about it without being ridiculed, etc. for discussing those issues.

That said, I've always believed in being proactive. If a topic interests you, then start a thread. You'd be surprised how many others would also be interested.

Quote from: Jessica Oz on March 27, 2009, 07:42:38 PM
As a new member of Susan's my opinion may seem a little one sided, but I have to agree with;
I have learnt more from the members of Susan's Place than from any other source I have encountered so far. If this site was simply a site to discuss politics, Social Issues (Non Transgender) or cooking then I most certainly would have past it by quite quickly. As someone still searching for many answers as to why life is how it is for me, I find sites like Susan's invaluable.

I guess that is why Susan has put so much thought into it's structure. Many topics are nicely catergorised in to relevant topics so if there is a topic I am not really interested in then I can choose not to veiw the postings in that topic.

I guess for members that have been here a while, us newbies asking the same old questions over and over again must seem extremley tiresome, but for someone like me who hasn't asked a lot of these questions yet, these questions are very new and extremley important to me.

Fully understand Jessica, please don't think I was having go at people like you.

Quote from: Jessica Oz on March 27, 2009, 08:04:11 PM
Oh no, Sorry imaz,

I really do appoligise if I came across that way. I can honestly say once again that if it wasn't for such wonderfull people such as yourself (i have read some of your posts), people like me would be stuck with health professionals as an only real source of information and let's be honest, the don't get it right all the time.

That's very sweet of you

Fully agree as regards the so-called professionals, IMHO one can learn far more from ordinary people or even ordinary counsellors. At the end of the day we are just people like everyone else and sometimes it's not just ourselves that have trouble seeing anything but our gender issue but professionals as well.

BTW pleased to see that you're transitioning... from the 4x4!

I love talking about books/movies/writing, I always forget to look in that section on here.  And I love talking about religion, but it can get so prickly and people take things so personally that I generally avoid it.

I agree.  I get tired of the same old conversations.  But I also don't mind because it's usually someone new who needs help and I like being able to help.  I can't blame them for not wanting to read through pages and pages of threads to see if the question has already been asked.  I also try to keep in mind that for a lot of people, this is the only place they can talk about those things.  Patience is easier if you put yourself in the shoes of the one asking/talking about topics that seem to have been beaten to death. 

...and I just like to talk...

Quote from: imaz on March 27, 2009, 07:31:28 PM
No worries Alyssa, I'm not offended and please forgive me if I've been rude to you.

Just to set your mind at ease, you haven't. On the contrary, it's been a delight to see what you have to say.

I said that because I've seen plenty of rudeness and just plain offensive comments. I know I'm guilty of that myself -- I can think of particular instances. The trouble is it's hard to tell when you cross the line, even if it's obvious to someone else; and on a support site like this, you can be a lot more hurtful than on, say, your favorite knitting forum.

That's just a general observation; any resemblance to actual members, active or not, is entirely coincidental. 

I get that way sometimes, but the newbies need it.  I really hate it when a topic becomes a slap fest.

In my college classes, we have discussion postings.  You make your initial posting, and then respond to the others as required. 

But this arguing and name calling is doing nothing for the new people, but discouraging them for learning.  Make your response and then reply as required, but STOP the fighting or take it elsewhere.

Janet

My knitting forum gets pretty nasty I wanted to knit purl purl knit and I was almost thrown off the chat. (HAHA)
I know the same topics come up but when I was new it really helped. People or I came here looking for help regarding some pretty specific and basic stuff and had no idea where to find the answers. Sometimes it's hard I think I have typed tritop binder 4 times in the last couple of days, but I also know how important it was for me to find these things out. Heck I had never even heard of a binder before. I still have some pretty basic questions but thru this site I have found other web places to find answers. For some this may be the first stop and where they get most of their information from.
Also I really have no place besides online to discuss this stuff, I can talk sports, religion, politics with my friends but if I ask them their opinion on a STP they will look at me like I'm crazy.
Myles

Just read and respond to what interests you, that is the whole point of a forum like this.
Seems simple enough to me.


Maybe you need a hobby.