Well, I have been coming to work as female for nearly 3 weeks now and when I first started, I was comfortable enough to say hi to people, converse with them if they started talking (or people I had already made friends with) and use the women's restroom, but I didn't do much more than that.  I also felt comfortable enough to immediately start dressing how I wanted.  Now I'm starting to feel more comfortable initiating conversations myself and joining in with the other women with stuff (like looking at pictures of baby animals on the computer and oohing and aahing alongside them).  I feel like I am starting to go beyond where I was in terms of interacting with people before I came out.  I was previously trying to avoid as much interaction as possible because I  wanted to show a male face as little as possible.  After going fulltime, I didn't hide any more than I did before (although I felt like it), but I feel I am reaching a new comfort level.  It seems even women who kind of ignored me (maybe because they didn't know me beforehand) are starting to warm up to me a bit.

Melissa

That's awesome, Melissa. That's something I'm having to deal with right now; holding my head up in public and not being ashamed to talk to other people. I'm always worried I'll be "outed". However, I'm starting to realize it's not that big a deal. I went to Wal-Mart a couple days ago to get a prescription filled, and I went dressed completely as a guy, though I knew I'd have to show them my ID to get the prescription. I did, and they didn't even blink; thus, I thought maybe I was fooling myself, I didn't pass at all, and was just walking around looking like a woman with a mustache and small breasts. Then a man asked me to help him find some aftershave, because he'd left his reading glasses at home. He fully assumed I was a guy, and would know exactly where to find it (I didn't, but figured it out anyway). So my assumption is, I pass, and people's attitudes are changing about TSs; either that, or they're just too terrified to say anything 

Hold your head up high; you have nothing to be ashamed of. Now if only I could take my own advice...

Rafe

I agree that's people's attitudes towards TS's are changing.  I think many transsexuals are coming out of the woodwork and and therefore more people personally know TS's, which helps improve the general perception of it just being a fact of life.  Because people's perceptions are improving, it makes it easier for yet even more transsexuals to come out of the closet.  It's kind of a positive self-perpetuating concept and the reason I think that many of the negative attitudes towards transsexuals will dissolve.

Melissa

Melissa,
  Sometimes I think that people's attitudes about TS's are changing then I get hit with someone who wants to make trouble. Then it turns around and I go back a few squares. I really think it has to do with your attitude with who you are. You just be who you are and don't worry about what people think. We all have different thoughts on subjects. Melissa, you have come a long way this last year, you have transitioned very well and you will only get better. The surgery if you decide to have it will be the cherry on and sundae. No pun intended. lOL
Sheila

Quote from: Sheila on July 27, 2006, 01:08:35 PM
Melissa, you have come a long way this last year, you have transitioned very well and you will only get better. The surgery if you decide to have it will be the cherry on and sundae.

Yes, I have started living life as full as possible without surgery, because I figured that although it would give me a little extra freedom, it's not going to be the key to enabling me to live as female.  I definitely plan on having the surgery, but I think I'll save up the money first.  It doesn't seem as critical as it once did.

Melissa

Melissa, the surgery will cost you about as much as a new car or less. Think of it that way. Could you get a loan for yourself to buy a car?
Sheila

I realize that, but I still have a little less than a year of RLT before I can get my letters and I can use that time to save up money.  Honestly, I don't know if I could get a car loan right now.  It was very difficult to get my last one, but I cleaned up my credit a bit, I've bought a house since and make more money now.

Melissa

Love the stories....

You know I still don't use the womans bathroom at work!!!
They gave\made me one next to my office with a lock on it....
That was (i was told) 3 conference calls a go when my VP was wondering what do I do when I have to go to the bathroom... I find it amusing now!!!

I never been one for looking at baby pics or cutesy things like that however I do socialize wit da gyrls all the time and the men when I require male attention!!!


But I rmemeber before transitioning being quiet...and unnoticable and anti social just as you described thanks for the memory!

Chynna

Hi Chynna,

We have a handicap bathroom for one person at a time, but I don't like carrying my keycard with me since women's clothes generally lack pockets, so I just use the ladies room.  Occasionally I'll use that bathroom if it's more convenient, but not often.  Not one single person expressed any discomfort with the idea of me using it either.  Most women just smile at me when they see me in there.

Remember that you live in a different part of the country and you have a different personality than me, so we probably will relate to other women in different ways.

Melissa

Very cool Melissa. It is the best feeling being viewed as who we are. You are lucky to have been working with people who decided to accept you for you. I know I never would have been able to do that where I was when I decided to transition. but now that is for the best and something better is in the works after my surgery.

                           Marco

Quote from: Chynna on July 27, 2006, 02:40:45 PM
Love the stories....

You know I still don't use the womans bathroom at work!!!
They gave\made me one next to my office with a lock on it....
That was (i was told) 3 conference calls a go when my VP was wondering what do I do when I have to go to the bathroom... I find it amusing now!!!

I never been one for looking at baby pics or cutesy things like that however I do socialize wit da gyrls all the time and the men when I require male attention!!!


But I rmemeber before transitioning being quiet...and unnoticable and anti social just as you described thanks for the memory!

Chynna

A few weeks ago I had to attend a huge Safety and Training conference put on by the national headquarters.  HR asked if I needed special washroom arrangements at the conference centre and I simply told them no just treat me like every other woman that's attending the conference.  And they did.  Personally I would raise hell if I were given special treatment like my own washroom.  To me that's just not on.

Just my thoughts.

Steph

That's exactly right Steph.  I don't want special treatment either.  I think that's one big difference with somebody who identifies as a woman and somebody who identifies as a transsexual.  How can I experience life as a woman if I'm always seen as being different?

Melissa

Quote from: Steph on July 27, 2006, 07:18:16 PM
A few weeks ago I had to attend a huge Safety and Training conference put on by the national headquarters.  HR asked if I needed special washroom arrangements at the conference centre and I simply told them no just treat me like every other woman that's attending the conference.  And they did.  Personally I would raise hell if I were given special treatment like my own washroom.  To me that's just not on.

Just my thoughts.

Steph

I was at first offended until i used the womans bathroom once or twice and lets just say the particular group of women I work with (in a certain unnamed department of the firm) Have less then acceptable hygenic standards when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.....bottom line...EWWWWWW!!!!

So Now Im grateful for the private room and so are 2 other female co workers of mines who prefer to use "THE EXECUTIVE OFFICE" as I call it as opposed to the out house!!

Chynna the bear

I see.  No problems like that here.

Melissa

Melissa,
   There are no laws governing restrooms in the state of Oregon. So use the one that you feel most comfortable in. You do have to be careful of your employer as they can make it difficult. From what you have said that the place were you work is very open about that. In Portland you do have a law that will protect you. I know of it being used a few times.
Sheila

Well, combined with everyone's open attitude and my seeming to pass well, I haven't had any problems regarding restroom use.

Melissa