I wanna buy some women's clothes, but every time I try I get nervous and start second guessing myself and I end up leaving empty handed.  I even have the perfect place to do it without anyone noticing- it's a grocery store that happens to have a clothing department and automated tellers.  Then, in my head, I'm like "what if somebody sees me?" or "What if the automated teller screws up and I need to talk to a clerk?" and online isn't the best way because my roommate is my brother.

I dunno.  I'd really like to go out and by some gender appropriate clothes.  It's the exam crunch and they'd really help keep my spirits up.

Next step, driver's license!  Seriously, 21 and I only have a permit.  I'm awesome.

Hi,

What I used to do when I began my transition was to be very confident, and in a very relaxed fashion, pick out clothes that I was pretty sure would fit me.  At the cashier's counter, I asked if the checkout girl liked what I picked, that it was for my girlfriend.  If you act in a confident, self-assured manner, no one will pay much attention.  And if they do wonder, they certainly won't say anything.  Hope this helps.
Best,
Julia
http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com

I too have that problem, but I am alittle older than 21. Not that age really makes a different. I also wonder where to keep my clothes because I am not ready to come out yet. Good luck and stay strong.

I so far have said they are a gag gift for someone at work. UM my wife needed a new bra for a Dress she got for dinner. And also my wife was used again, she forgot her gym clothes and needed a pair of Panties and shorts to work out in.

I try to go to different stores. I actually built up a repoir with employee at a local store. we talked for about an hour just gossiping about stuff. she told me about a young man who had come in to buy clothes, his Mistress made him. But I feel comfortable enough with her now I may go back and tell her they are really for me.

Good luck and shop with confidence.


TQ

I know the feeling.  I did not buy my own women's clothes until I was in my 50's.  For years I had no hesitation in buying women's clothes for my wife but I was always hesitant to buy anything for myself.  When I finally did buy things for myself, including lingerie and makeup as well as skirts and dresses, I realized that it was no big deal.  Some clerks may have looked at me funny, but no one has ever said anything and they have all been willing to take my money.

It is easier if you can shop where you are less likely to be recognized by those whom you want to keep in the dark about your secret.  I am a college professor and I do not particularly want my students to know that I am a crossdresser.  In local stores many of my students work as clerks, so I do not shop for feminine things there.

My story is a bit similar. I was 39 before I bought any woman's clothing for myself, other than pantyhose. I'd have a shopping list with me, so I would look like I was buying for my wife. Most of my early cross-dressing was just wearing her stuff.

I wanted some flats, but was nervous about trying them on at the shoe store. Then I just suddenly thought that what was the store staff going to do, kick me out? So, I sat down, tried some on, and bought the ones that fit.

I'm still not all that confident, but it's getting a bit easier.

Hehe! My wife wanted men's sandals once, this was back in Indonesia where girls are meant to be well girly. It was amusing to say the least to see how the sales girl reacted - a combination of fear, horror and not knowing how to be anything but polite and smiling in classic Indonesian style.

Quote from: julia2640 on March 26, 2009, 10:33:47 AM
Hi,

What I used to do when I began my transition was to be very confident, and in a very relaxed fashion, pick out clothes that I was pretty sure would fit me.  At the cashier's counter, I asked if the checkout girl liked what I picked, that it was for my girlfriend.  If you act in a confident, self-assured manner, no one will pay much attention.  And if they do wonder, they certainly won't say anything.  Hope this helps.
Best,
Julia
http://www.transssexualconsultingandreferrals.com

Thats excellent advice Julia.

Note that your link is broken.

Also I love shopping online.

Get a PO Box if you fear stuff being shipped to your home address.

It has been years since I've felt uncomfortable buying female attire. I don't let it stress me, just do it. If a cashier comments on my purchase I tell them. Once at payless I spotted some shoes I liked. Got two pair that day. The cashier asked if they were a gift for a friend. "No, they are for me." Some places are helpfull once they know who your shopping for.

Quote from: Louise on March 27, 2009, 04:47:31 PM
Some clerks may have looked at me funny, but no one has ever said anything and they have all been willing to take my money.

Indeed. Economy sinks everywhere in the world, and salespersons do their best to sell. I am especially welcomed in hair salon, as I spend more money than most women here.

Also, you can purchase through online internet stores, if you feel unsafe in local stores. Of course, after finding a proper range of cloth size for you.

Barbie~~

Second hand stores tend to be pretty open, or just care a lot less.

One word......Goodwill.  The local one close to is very friendly and some of the workers know me.  Not sure if that is good or not.  I might be the "T*****" or the CD.     

I prefer to think that they see me as the gorgeous tall woman that comes in.

Janet

I buy most of my clothes online... you can get great clothes for super cheap.  I've actually bought makeup in person, although it took me a few tries to get the nerve up and even then I used the self-checkout to avoid questions.

One time though the self-checkout was broken at wal-mart where I went to find black eyeliner (it was sold out everywhere else), so I had to go to the register.  I managed to avoid any notice because I just talked to the guy about why the self-checkout was broken in the first place and handed him the eyeliner thing upside down -- he just passed it over the scanner without even looking at it since we were in conversation.

I think most register people just want to get through the day and get off their feet, and won't notice or care.  Another thing is just to buy some guy's clothing at the same time and then they'll just assume that the guy's clothing is for you and the girl's is for someone else (assuming you're out in guy-mode).  For me the hard part isn't checkout, it's walking around in the makeup/girl's clothing aisles .

Finding a safe place to store your clothes is a problem, yes.  Some people use their car (or a storage compartment behind the back seat.  I myself used to lock all my clothes in a file cabinet in my office.  That ended up working out quite well until I told my wife about me.

Julia
http://www.transsexualconsultingandreferrals.com

I think the store clerks of the world would be very flattered at how much the people here care about their opinions. Usually they're pretty much ignored. Personally, it doesn't really matter much to me what someone sliding tags across a UPC reader thinks about what I'm buying. I don't think most store checkers care that much about who's buying what. They are just glad you're buying something so they stay employed. And in these economically depressed times, most stores selling womenswear should welcome a bit of extra business from male customers.

Here are some tips that will help, though: Spend some time at home looking at ads or the web before going to the store to get a good idea of what you want to buy. Know your size (or at least decide the size you want to try). It's much easier to get through that first shopping trip if you walk in with a clear vision of what you want. Other than that, know you're not alone. Thousands of guys go through this every day. Geez! Your just clothes shopping, for crying out loud. Life has much greater challenges, I can assure you.

Shopping  never bothered me as I take my wife and mother out shopping often and am usually the one who finds what they are looking for and usually at the clearance rack. the sales people are so used to seeing me there that when I return it's Hi, how are your doing and do you need any help. I guess a lot of this is because I feel at home in that department and really don't care what people think Outside of my Family and my family knows I am a very Unique person. Love to All.

I got my first pair of girl jeans from a secondhand store the other day, and it was terrifying, and also empowering.  Another small victory is that last night I got a girl's deodorant stick with my groceries.

Small steps, but I think I'm working up a little bit of courage.  Which is awesome because I was pretty much at the bottom end of courage these past few years.

You bet it can be terrifying at first.  But think of it this way:  Nothing makes a person stick out worse than giving a bunch of excuses for buying something.  Usually they just ring you up without any further thought.  Watch women at the checkout.  They never say anything about what their purchase if for.  Many of us, in an effort to look legit, end up doing just the opposite.  Best advice I can give is to just go get what you want, make pleasant talk with the cashier, and get on about your business.

Kristi

Just like the theory I had when I skipped class in high school.  Walk straight by the office like it's what I'm supposed to be doing.