I would say I'm 99.99% sure This is the only thing I have desired for as long as I can remember, you know what I'm not 99.99% I'm over 9000% sure.

I can't call what I had "doubts". It was more like a dawning realization of the reality of the moment.  I do recall thinking that I could stop when I was being wheeled into the operating room but instead I smiled.  I realized that I had arrived in that room after a gauntlet of trials and problems,  any one of which could have derailed my transition.  I also thought about all my friends who listened to me talk about my transition. Wigging out then would have been such a betrayal of myself and them.  I am happy that I went through with it and have no regrets.  As a female, I am very happy and can function in society much better than before.  What I did not really factor in enough was that I would be totally alone afterwards, emotionally.  Would I have stopped if I knew that my family would basically treat me as a stranger and that now no one in the entire world loves me? NO, I would still do it.

Never. (Perhaps night before surgery I will be quit scary and after it that it sure in the great pain).

I'm not having doubts (well, maybe a few, but not REAL ones)... just mildly sad about losing the things I convinced myself were good about myself after much trial and tribulation as attempting and failing to live as a female.  I attempted to find positive things about myself so that I could be more comfortable in my own skin (like my singing voice) and I will be sad when I lose the (albeit few) things I appreciate that will change.

However, I know I will be fundamentally the same person and my insides will match better my outsides and THAT is awesome.

Plus, every time I think about growing to be any older as a female instead of a male, I can't do it.  I'd rather give my life up than do that.

Um, I wouldn't say I've had doubts about my SRS or my transition -- I questioned myself, of course, to be sure that it was the right thing for me. As for the timing of my SRS, I had some doubts because of what was going on in my life at the time, financially and home wise. Since then, I never looked back and of course went through the surgery. Sadly, coming home to a wreck and a lot of stress made recovery a little bit harder. But, I'm still glad I had my surgery.

Yes. Right before my therapist was going to refer me to an endocrinologist to get T, I told her I didn't want to. I figured I was comfortable enough, I wasn't depressed like I heard a lot of trans people were and thought I was fine the way I was. This was in July 08. Six months later my thoughts started coming back and I went back to her, this time 100% sure I wanted to go on hormones. You can put it off but I think your thoughts will keep coming back until you just do it.

Anyone that knows me here on Susan's knows I have a nasty habit of doubting things to the infinite degree. It doesn't matter what it is, anything big I doubt, but I push through and most things in life I did not regret once I did. I figured now, that after getting self-destructive last week, and transition coming back to mind when I stopped myself, I knew it MUST stop. I was not even thinking about it when trying to hurt myself, but it came after the fact. I reasoned now, that I would rather just transition, and be calmer and less depressed on HRT, than end up dead in a grave someday because I killed myself .

It's a jump into the unknown, and I do not know what will happen, but I can't let myself fall back into hell like I was before. I want to live again, and will do what it takes to make that happen.

Have you ever had doubts right before having surgery or HRT?
Well to put it another way I kinda had ''doubts'' just after my surgery, but looking back now I put it down to ''post op depression'' which you don't hear much about here.
Well into my transition, my Mother was always very anxious that I have srs just to complete and finalize my transition which I had in 1985.
I remember a few days before my surgery I was very nervous, then the morning of the surgery going under the anesthesia, I just wanted to get it over with.
I was very disappointed when I did see my new womanhood, that was when I had my doubt omg it was gross.
But thankful it didn't last, I had a second minor surgery labia plastic under a local anesthesia which put the finishing touches to my girlie parts.
That was the only doubts I had, when I was fully healed I just love being a woman, I found the surgery hard, no gain without pain, I'd never go back.
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