....come out to my grandparents? One of them already says that gays go to hell, and technicaly I am gay (she doesn't know). And the others...well I don't know if they will be postive or negative. I'm told a couple of cousins and my parents. But I need to be able to tell my grandparents if I plan on going home any time soon. Any suggestions other then letters?

are you in the position that you HAVE to tell them? I don't know if I could have dropped that on my grandparents when they were still alive, especially my grandfather.

I wouldn't tell them unless you have to.  One of my best friends is gay.  His family would make remarks about gays being so awful, which would hurt his feelings.  But he just kept living his life with his long-term "room-mate".  I don't know that he ever actually came out to his family, but they love him and have come to understand he's gay.  They just don't talk about it.

Even if you don't live with or near them, you're going to have to tell them if you plan on starting T. (Believe me, it gets to a point where they notice. Very quickly.)

Grandparents can be surprisingly understanding. Mine were. They're fundamentalist Christians, and I didn't think they'd react well, but they came right around and supported me. We showed them that 20/20 Barbara Walters special on trans kids, and I think that helped. That might be something to think about -- it's a very poignant piece and might have an effect on them. I don't know if it's available online or anything, but you might be able to order it...

technicaly i don't have to tell them, but feel that if i want to be the person that i am back home, i need to tell them.

thanks andrew...i'll see if i can get ahold of that episode!

I looked for it and it wasn't available at the time I looked on the ABC News website. It is however on YouTube in several segments; should be easy enough to find on there.