Hi y'all,

New member here! I'm an 18 year old girl, but I look like a boy and I wanna talk about my issues (why else would I be here?). I want to talk about my fustration and anger now, but I'll post everything tomorrow. I don't feel like it now.

To cut the long story short;
I'm attacted to girls, even though I'm a girl myself. So I'm a lesbian, although most others would just consider me a straight male.

I wish I could just go to sleep one night and dream that I am standing in my ideal female body but my subconscience won't seem to let that happen, and I suck at lucid dreaming, so I'm crap-outta-luck there.

I also have a slight form of autism, and kids in school call me a weirdo, and i don't know whether or not to tell them about my disablilty, weary on how they might handle it. (I know this ain't the place but that's another issue I'm going though). Welll... I do do some strange things in school (unintentionally that is)... I won't lie.

Another thing, my bigger problem is... the reason I want to dream about actually being me, instead of just crossdressing... the problem is that even if I do crossdress or go through gender change sugery... I still won't have my ideal female body which I will cover in another thread. I will NEVER get my body surgically altered... EVER!

I've been doing some hopping and wishing that in my next lifetime I get to be her/me. But the thing is... I can put a request out to The Creator but I still don't know for sure.

I wish I could find a psychatrist that can help me. I was never able to and all the chances that I had, I blew them out of stupidity and ignorance!

*yarns*
It was kinda late at night when I sent this. I'mma go get some sleep and come back here in the morning. Good night, yall! And thanks for reading my pposts!

Hi and welcome to Susan's. There are many resources here that may help you. There are many people here who have been through what you are nw experiencing. Stick around. You will be hearing from others here.

Gennee

Hi BigLover,   

Welcome to our little family. Over 2100 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member.   

Janet

When I was young, I used to think that perhaps I would wake up one morning and that extra stuff between my legs wouold have fallen off during the night and then people would finally realize I was a girl.  Of course it never happened.  I never dreamed I was girl - I was always just me in the dreams.  I don't remember having a gender identity in the dreams.

If you have a male body and are past puberty, you have a lot of testosterone in you system.  If you are heterosexual, you will be attracted to girls.  I don't think there is any way to forecast whether you would still be attracted to girls or would still be heterosexual if you didn't have the testosterone any more.  So don't worry about that.

High school is tough, regardless of your issues.  It just goes with the territory.

If you've had the opportunity for counseling but have blown the opportunities, don't worry.  It takes most of us several tries before we can get some good out of the process.  You've already taken a big step in the right direction, here at Susan's.

Hang in there.  Things can and will get better.