In bathrooms or out, transgenders no threat
By Margery Eagan
Thursday, April 9, 2009 - Added 12h ago
Boston Herald Columnist

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1164506

Fifteen years ago, my then-7-year-old came home from school and said, "Mommy, you'll always be my mommy, won't you?"

Huh?

She was confused, I soon learned, because the mother of her classmate - let's call him "So and So" - was now So and So's daddy. Oh my goodness. The mom I'd known from Friday morning "My Country 'Tis of Thee" assemblies and apple-picking trips was now the first transgendered person I, or the other stunned first-grade parents, knew.

I'll admit: It seemed weird. From the back, So and So's dad still had hips like a woman. But from the front, after weeks of testosterone, his hairline began receding as his Adam's apple began protruding. And there were lots of questions I was too chicken to ask, such as, "Can you still have sex?"

Some of the language made me squirm a bit (wouldn't "transgendered people" be a bit less clunky than "the transgendered" or "transgenders"?) but all-in-all a good piece.

If only more people would realize that the tall cashier at Lowe's, the local Vet, the barista at Starbuck's or the mayor of a small Oregon town were Transgendered. They might begin to see that the Transgendered as just people, just like them.

If my customers have any realizations that I am Transsexual, they can see that we are not so pervert or freaks.  And I see a lot of people during my work shift.

Janet

If only more people would realize that the tall cashier at Lowe's, the local Vet, the barista at Starbuck's or the mayor of a small Oregon town were Transgendered.

Of course for that to happen they have to be out, open and proud about who they are.  If they are in deep stealth or refuse to say they are TG, or TS, or whatever, then they are in effect, and in reality, doing a great disservice to all of us.

I may not be "out, open and proud", but I am also not in deep stealth.  If asked I will tell.  And I know I have be 'tagged'.  But those same customers who have 'tagged' me, still come to my station, chit chat and refer to me as 'her', 'Miss', or in some cases 'Janet'.

I think they know and they just don't care.

Janet

I get the same thing at work.  I transitioned on the job.  I just figure everybody knows, or will know.

But I've found that some DON'T know, and I'm shocked to discover I've slipped into stealth.  Or, maybe it's like that essay at Huffington Post, where the nosy lady EXPECTS the gay seatmate to lie to her and feign being straight, and maybe I'm being put in stealth BY some of the people I interact with -- the ones that are REALLY uncomfortable about it.  Should I wear my trans-ness on my sleeve and 'shove it in their face/down their throat'?

That's it, we're not that different.

There are people in society who need bogeymen, though.  It'll be really hard to get them to stop casting 'The Pervert Predator ->-bleeped-<-'.  It will take many VISIBLE unremarkable-except-for-transition examples out there.

Karen