I have had a lot of friends, male, female, and not really sure.  I'm nice most of the time, and a bitch/prick when I need to be.  For sure, no one ever asks me 'do these pants make my butt look big' if they don't want an honest answer, which tends to be "I don't think you can blame the pants."

Quote from: tekla on April 17, 2009, 12:19:51 AM
"I don't think you can blame the pants."

and an extra Ha Ha

Oh God,
Apparently I'm a nice girl? Its a complete lie. I feel like I am a bitch more than I am nice, and yet I've still got this title. One of my friends from high school called me her "bestest girlfriend"...makes me wonder if she knew something I didn't at the time. Part of it was that when I was back in HS I still identified as gay and not transgender so I was "that guy" that you could talk about boys with and would listen to your incessant bitching when it was "that time of month". *shrug* I've also got the "good girl curls" going right now so its really all a front. I'm a bitch through and through!

I am nice really, and I think everyone else knows that.
I say sarcastic and cynical things, but only in jest, I'm never bitchy or try to genuinely upset people.
I would be very nice to a partner, if I had one.

For some reason, if you're a feminine guy (or even not so much feminine, as not macho), people assume you're nice.  Definately not true.  I even have an example of a nasty feminine guy in mind, but everybody has figured out that he is a bitch.  Example: he asked out a friend of a friend, who said no because he's straight, then not-straight boy [Jon, let's say] starts stalking him and other boy is creeped out and told him to leave him alone, then later Jon randomly pushed him into the lockers.  The other boy tried to leave, but Jon had him trapped and was trying to beat him up (he failed miserably, and ran away crying with a bloody nose; even though it's his fault I felt kind of sorry for him).  Now, what was the relevance of that story to this topic.  Oh yeah, none.  It wasn't even very interesting if you don't know the people involved.

I was always a nice guy, and inevitably wound up in the "friend" bucket with girls. That's ok though, because I was patient, and when I met my wife she appreciated me for who I am. Been married a long, long time now.

It's funny, I hear women complaining about not being able to find a "nice" guy. Back in my dating years I knew of quite a few girls that would not date a nice guy (too boring), or they put nice guys into the "friend" bucket. They wanted the boys that would not treat them well, and wanted to go out and party. Meanwhile, us nice guys were settling down with nice girls LOL......

It's a conundrum.

I see that Urban Dictionary definition as a "trap" of sorts. That is, the definition of a "nice guy" that such people use as an excuse to be insecure and angry instead of realizing what self-worth they do have and building on it. When I used to term to refer to myself about seven years ago, a female online friend referred me to this article.

. . .It kind of hurt a bit to read, but it certainly made me more aware of myself.

Looking back at my teens and early 20s now, the ease and comfort with which women would interact with me should have been a clear clue to who I really am. 

Quote from: MasterAsh on April 18, 2009, 03:45:26 PM
I see that Urban Dictionary definition as a "trap" of sorts. That is, the definition of a "nice guy" that such people use as an excuse to be insecure and angry instead of realizing what self-worth they do have and building on it. When I used to term to refer to myself about seven years ago, a female online friend referred me to this article.

. . .It kind of hurt a bit to read, but it certainly made me more aware of myself.

Looking back at my teens and early 20s now, the ease and comfort with which women would interact with me should have been a clear clue to who I really am. 

That article describes a clingy/stalker/extreme kind of person.

I will agree that a certain level of confidence is key to attracting someone, but a guy can be both confident and nice, and still have a hard time getting a date. It goes back to what I was saying before about what women seem to look for at a younger age. It doesn't seem to be niceness.

If a guy is acting in a manner similar to what that article portrays then it's no wonder he cannot attract anyone.

I fall into this category perfectly. All my life I have been the friend. I have always had more girl friends than guy friends but not many relationships. However none of my girl friends never seemed to mind talking to me about anything and everything. I think it has screwed me up in my forming of adult relationships and whenever I see teens who seem to be the "Nice Guy" I always feel sorry for them cause I know what they are going to go through.

Since coming out to myself I feel like I've been moving more into that role.

Yup thats me the nice guy 

Used to have a lot of male friends when I was growning up but gained more female friends. To be honest I think I prefer female's to male's

Jay

Me too, I find men boring to talk to.

Quote from: imaz on April 22, 2009, 05:08:36 AM
Me too, I find men boring to talk to.

Not boring just, talk about the same rubbish all the time.. plus I would like to get on my soap box

Jay

Quote from: Jay on April 22, 2009, 05:15:10 AM
Not boring just, talk about the same rubbish all the time.. plus I would like to get on my soap box

Jay

It's that talking about things. My own son drives me insane when he starts talking about IT stuff!

Oh god, yes. One good friend of mine to whom I'm outed as a lesbian (and is superhot and supersweet and an ideal girlfriend) said once to me: I would so totally fall in love with you, if you were a guy!
This was such a hard kick in my non-existing balls I almost started crying in front of her 

During secondary school I only had like 1 male friend the other two guys were complete nutjobs but they were bullied to crap aswell so we stuck together kind of I stopped talking to the other two.

After I wento college and made more friends, most female but some male 80/20 split however the friends I'm closest too and trust the most are still male. I dunno why it's like that... O_o Just begin able to talk to them easier I guess.

I think I'm a nice person.  I'll do anything for a friend or someone who asks nicely.  I'm the one who's always giving people rides, giving up my seat, carrying other people's heavy stuff, helping people through hard times, letting people borrow stuff.  I don't let people walk all over me, though.  I try to be fair and take about as much as I give.

In terms of relationships, I don't buy into the "nice guy who can't get laid because he's too nice" concept that seems to be so popular right now.  I think it's usually an excuse used by guys who are nice but have something else working against them that they don't want to acknowledge.  Worse, it's an excuse for guys to treat girls like crap because it goes with the idea that women dislike guys who are nice to them and do like a**holes. 

I'm always the one my guy friends come to with the cry of "why am I always in the friendzone baawwww"

If a girl doesn't like a guy in that way, that isn't her problem. It baffles me how many guys will be "friends" with a girl and cry about there being no sex. If you want to be a friend, be a friend. If you don't, don't just follow her around like a lapdog with the hopes of someday getting in her pants, it doesn't work like that.

My best friend is a girl and some of my guy friends meet her and then "befriend" her while all the while hoping they are going to get some action. I have ended up getting involved with some of the more extreme stalker like cases and then they throw it back in my face that I'm her friend and doing the same thing. I'm bloody not, she's my FRIEND, not some chick I keep around for the sole reason of one day bedding her.

I've only ever been the "nice guy" but then I never tried to be anything else.  In high school I was the shoulder to cry on for a lot of girls who had nobody else to talk to.  I have no idea what I'm going to be once I go full time... but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the "nice girl" as well.  It's just not in me to be a jerk to people.