OK. I know this has been covered before, but what
exactly constitutes the real life test?
• I wear earrings (but so do lots of guys).
• I have a woman's haircut. I had it dyed to cover the gray.
• I have shaped (waxed) eyebrows that I color each day with eye shadow to cover the gray.
• I've begun wearing a little mascara and a little eyeliner but sometimes don't bother.
• I have shaped fingernails and usually have on very pale polish.
• I came out to my doctor, my counselor, and my minister.
• I came out to my family and everyone I socialize with.
• I came out to my church, where I do a lot of volunteer stuff.
• I don't work, so that's not an issue.
• I came out to two of my neighbors but not the others.
• I came out to a couple of waitresses and a couple of shopkeepers in town.
• I came out to the office that handles my money so I could get checks with Katherine on them. (They're not here yet.)
• Actually, I've started telling everyone who will listen that I am transgendered and working on becoming a woman. (I was never a blabbermouth before – must be the hormones, or the freedom.
)
• I have a credit card with Katherine on it that I use to order online and over the phone. If I use it in person and they ask for ID, I whip out the identical card with my male name on it and explain that I'm transitioning to become a woman but my IDs haven't been changed yet.
• I've shopped for women's clothes in person, sometimes wearing breasts and makeup, sometimes not. I use the women's fitting room.
• I use the ladies room sometimes but not always, depending on circumstances.
• I called motor vehicles. They politely explained that they will need a court document to change my name and a certificate from the surgeon to change my sex marker.
• I've begun hormones, but there are no visible changes yet.
• I've begun having my facial and body hair removed (legs next), but it's a long process.
• I take my morning walk in a skirt. (Plus jacket and boots – it's still cold here.)
• I get the morning paper off the lawn in a skirt and heels.
• I've found that I have begun touching people and waving my hands around a lot when talking. I never did that before. (I used to be wrapped pretty tightly. The wrappings are coming loose.
)
• I was clocked yesterday by a neighbor as "going through the change" even though he had no prior knowledge of that.
• I still use my male name sometimes, although I often use both, being indecisive (
always been that way
). I need to start asking people to use Katherine (or Kate) all the time.
• I don't want to change my name legally yet. (One step at a time.)
• I have begun wearing only women's (or unisex) clothes. The problem here is that this is an outdoorsy place. Most women wear little or no makeup and dress in jeans, flannel shirts and hiking boots. I wear the same, all cut for women, but they look a lot like what I've always worn. I haven't worn breasts with these outfits yet (maybe tomorrow?). I'm not sure if I appear female, very gay male, or just weird. I still have male outfits available because my female wardrobe has gaps in it.
• I haven't worn a skirt into town during the day yet, but very few women here ever do that anyway. (Maybe I need to do that at least once, kind of a public declaration to the town?)
Have I begun the Real Life Test?
If not, do I need to always wear breasts until I have my own? Always wear a skirt? Do I need to get in anyone's face who says "Sir" to me?
This is a small town, but it's big enough to have more than one grapevine - so even though I've told bunches of people, others don't necessarily know. Most of the people I deal with day-to-day know me (at least sort of) and know I used to look different, but I also see lots of people every day that I don't recognize and don't know me.
Or am I making too big of a deal out of this? Maybe there isn't a definitive start date?
- Kate
