i've been straining my voice for about 4 years, and i just realized it doesn't sound much different from my natural voice? are there ways to sound more female without any strain? straining is making it hard for people to understand me, and it makes me whisper sometimes

Never strain your voice, no matter what the application or goal.

The difference in pitch between average male voice and average female voice is only about 5 semitones, say 3 scale notes. Raise the pitch of your voice if it's easy and convenient, but don't hurt yourself doing it.

There is much more than pitch involved here. Speak softer with gentler attack, smoother diction and a rising intonation at the end.

actually, raising my pitch doesn't hurt me, but it comes out as a whisper alot, and it makes it hard for others to understand me.

That does not sound right to me. Sounds like you are 'strangling' the sound.

Have you checked out vids on youtube or read about various techniques online to give you a more fem voice?

I think you said in another post that your voice has not really deepend anyway. Perhaps you don't need to do anything in particular?

While I was transitioning I tried raising my pitch, but ended up in a falsetto and could never get a middle ground, so I simply softened my natural voice.  Over the course of a few months I somehow slipped into a somewhat "natural" female voice and haven't had any problems since, in person or on the phone.  Don't strain your voice, that's the worst thing you can do.

I only bump pitch 2-3 notes (I'm around an A below middle C on the piano).

It's about resonance, basically. You need to change the sound of the tone, not necessarily the pitch. Once you get used to the placement of your voice, it will not strain your throat, but it does take some time to learn how to use your muscles correctly and to build them up a bit... the voice can get strained in the early days of practicing.

There are various tutorials around the 'net, and of course Andrea James covers it in her training course on DVD. It took me about 5-6 months of experimenting to find out how to change my resonance, and it made all the difference.

Pitch isn't the most important thing. The most important thing is to relax your upper body, especially your neck and throat, and to produce a voice without tension. And to take the resonance out of your chest or throat, and produce it in your forehead. I was trained to speak with a female voice very successfully this way.

Rising intonation at the end of a declarative sentence makes you sound like a valley girl? It's highly clichéd and doesn't give the best impression? Nobody will take you seriously? Female intonation rises and falls with the meaningful words across a sentence, so the main thing is to avoid monotony. The voice should rise to its highest intonation right before the last words in a sentence, and then drop.

I was lucky to be raised by mainly females. My female voice was developed without trying. My challenge was to sound like a male in various circumstances. You don't need to strain yourself. Better it is to listen and relax. If you have a piano or keyboard handy, start at A-3 and run the A scale. Listen and learn how women form and end a sentence. Hypatia gives a good example of how words of emphasis are used
Hi!!! How      Do
            ya     
                       in'   

i do the same thing with my voice that CandiFLA from youtube does. is that the wrong thing to do?