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A whole new journey

Started by phantom_heart, April 23, 2009, 11:59:40 AM

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0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

phantom_heart

Hi! As you can tell i'm new to this forum. I am the wife of Adrianna. We found this site thanks to the help of our own personal matchmaker and friend.

If you read adriannas intro you'll know what i face...a little. I'm comfortable sharing my story here but there are always people who don't understand what i've gone through and what made my mind split so drastically. I only know bits and peaces. Its all i can handle without reliving something horrible.

I have MPD (multiple personality disorder) I've had it for a very long time.I have Seen shrinks who wanted to drug me and spoke to councellers who ether wanted to help but didn't know how or didn't believe it existed. Needless to say when i met Nick (Adrian) is when things progressed. After a few years i now have only 6 personalities.

Anyway the reason i came onto these boards was to get support and to help support Adrian. i want her to be happy. Thats all i want. If becoming a woman is what she wants than i'm all for helping. I mean its the least i can do when she's stood by my side through what i'm going through. She's taken the time to get to know each and every person inside my head. Most people would run.

So i hope to make new friends and hope to get support on this journey i most of all hope that she doesn't feel so alone.

Leave a comment i wont be offended by any questions.  :laugh:
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Miniar




"Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell" - Nietzsche
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phantom_heart

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Chrissty

Hiya "P-h" :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's :icon_bunch:

I'm a great believer in the idea the support can work both ways. MPD must be very difficult...and "only 6"now... most of us here have enough difficulty dealing with one or two. ;)

Hope you enjoy your stay!

:icon_hug:

Chrissty
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Darlene

This is probably a stupid question. Are you a where when your personalities change ?
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Jay

Welcome to Susans Place. ;D

Jay


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phantom_heart

Thats not a stupid question and to answer it Not usually! When i'd come back i'd be aware that time has passed but not what has happened. Adrian has to fill me in. That's how we found out. My grandparents took me to the dr because i was acting strange. I kept telling them i was blacking out. When i moved out i would go to my closet and see things i wouldn't ever where. Kids cloths usually.
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Ashton28

Well hello there stranger! :p Welcome!
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phantom_heart

Landon!! yay *hugs* Thanks for the welcome but you brought me here! So love ya for that!!
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Ashton28

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Janet_Girl

Hi phantom_heart, :icon_wave:

Welcome to our little family. Over 2230 strong.  That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another SO. :icon_hug:

And be sure to check out

Janet

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kody2011

welcome!!!! glad u found us!!!
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myles

"A life lived in fear is a life half lived"
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K8

Welcome to Susan's.

I hope this place will help you.  It's wonderful that you and Adrian have found each other.  Each of us has a lot to deal with to get through life (some of us more than others, obviously ;) ) and so we get by with a little help from our friends.  I hope you find lots of friends here.

Do you know if the other personalities know about you?  If so, are they antagonistic toward you?  I hope they all like who you are, since you sound like a likable person.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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phantom_heart

Quote from: K8 on April 24, 2009, 07:01:40 AM
Welcome to Susan's.



Do you know if the other personalities know about you?  If so, are they antagonistic toward you?  I hope they all like who you are, since you sound like a likable person.



Yes they know about me. Adrian is very honest to all of us. There is one inside this head of mine that hates me openly. I guess we differ in our view of some things. Its a very complicated life. Adrian and I wonder when the day comes that i'm complete again who i'll be. I don't think i know who the real me is. :S
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K8

And I thought my life was complicated...  ::)

I don't know much about multiple personalities, but I wonder if the others are just parts of yourself that need to be acknowledged and eventually will integrate into the nice person you are.  (We all have some unpleasant parts of us we'd rather not acknowledge, unfortunately.)  It sounds like you have already started on the path to wholeness.  Good luck.

*hugs*
Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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phantom_heart

Thats the plan. Normally to integrate and become one whole person we need to face the things in the past work through them and so on. I can't remember what happened probably because i couldn't handle it but i'm going to have to. I'm just taking my sweet time because i'm afraid.

Ah well such is life i guess. ^.^

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K8

Actually, it sounds like you're handling this all very well.  You can't deal with some things so other parts of you deal with them instead.  What's wrong with that?  As you become stronger you will be able to work through the things you now need to hide from yourself.  It's the process of living and developing into a whole person.  It sounds to me like you have a healthy attitude about all this.

Good luck on your journey,
Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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Hypatia

One of my friends is post-op trans, and multiple too. I forget how many she has in her "tribe." Quite a bunch. She got them to all sign an agreement to cooperate harmoniously with one another as a collective, like the charter for a club. She would have to switch for each of them to sign it individually, so it took a while to collect all the signatures. She showed me the agreement, and the signatures were all in different handwriting. One of them is male and the rest are female. So she doesn't really see herself as trans so much, since she includes both genders in the collective, but the female side far outweighs the male, so she is legally female and is "she" practically all of the time. The male one hardly ever showed up. Lately she hasn't been visibly multiple, I'm not sure why the manifestations stopped. She was in a lot of pain for a while because her original self had been demolished beyond recovery and she had only the multiples to carry on. But lately she seems more of a whole person, I'm too shy to ask for details though, and she hasn't volunteered any updates.
Here's what I find about compromise--
don't do it if it hurts inside,
'cause either way you're screwed,
eventually you'll find
you may as well feel good;
you may as well have some pride

--Indigo Girls
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phantom_heart

Hypatia thanks for sharing that. Its quite inpiring. I dont know anyone like me so it helps not to feel so alone!! I have to admit i had quite the collection as well. Over 24 but over the past year they haven't come around and i feel more sure of myself than i did befor. Thats why adrian and I belive that there are only 6. 6 much needed personalities. Also about the handwriting its the same for me. Different stiles of writing. Different way of speaking. We keep individual jurnals. I peek once in a whil but close them if it seems like i wont be able to handle it.

K8 I like to think that i'm handling it well. I've lived with this for a long time. Its just sad that the one therapist who believed me handed me a prescription for this drug that makes you a complete zombie. I tossed them down the toliot. I'm doing better on my own. Not that other people would do well but i havent had much luck.
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