Quote from: Lori on April 29, 2009, 06:54:54 AM
interalia;
Your blog said you had transitioned. For Two full years. You then, transitioned back. Was it because of guilt? Did a preacher show you the errors of your ways? Was it just not for you? Did your spouse stick by you during the two years? I'm really curious to know.
I was unmarried, young, and I was quite successful at it (transition). But I started to see patterns in the community, patterns that really disturbed me, patterns I thought might apply also to me, and it started me questioning if maybe I could live life successfully as a male. That questioning eventually culminated in a powerful spiritual experience telling me that I absolutely should attempt to make it without transitioning.
Quote from: Lori
Not everybody is you, or like you. If you had to put all ts on a line and say that line went from 1-10, I'd be a 7. You may be a -3. I'm not you, you are not me. What works for you won't work for me.
I'm am in no way saying transition is right, wrong, or the answer. I've spent too many sleepless nights, hours, days and minutes toiling over it. I'm tired. It wore me down. Its the only thing I have not tried. You assume so much in your first post, you made me feel like I was new to this scene and about to transition with no regard or thought to my family. You know what happens when you assume? It was crass and had a huge religious overtone to it.
I apologize for the unintended overtones. I had no clue at the time of writing it where your mindset was and I wanted to offer a perspective that is too little stated in case your thinking was taking you in a direction that might result in more sorrow for you and your family. I'm am SO UNBELIEVABLY happy that you are considering your children and family, that you are making decisions that aren't only about you.
Quote from: Lori
Maybe daddy will get hit by a train and there will be a funeral and everything and then Lori will just show up and start helping one day? I don't know. It's a thought. I do know if I am not in his life, I cannot help him. I cannot help him if I am so weak, tired, and ripped inside out from GID either. I have to fix myself before I can help and truly love anybody. I have several issues. OCD, Body Dysmorphia, paranoia, and I'm TS to boot. I have an intro here. You may have to dig back to 2006 to find it. Use the little search feature. You and I are not in the same boat, we are not going to live by the same rules because we are not the same people.
I agree totally, but it doesn't mean we cannot mutually benefit from one another's experiences.
Quote from: Lori
I am not bound or confined by religion and their beliefs. I'll put my faith in science any day. You can come at me with religion and the fear of god but it would be more prudent to come at somebody like me with something that is more tangible and real.
Religion and money are the roots of all evil and most wars. People have been killing with love in the name of god for years. There are mormons, christians, lutherins, buhdists, muslims, catholics, and the list goes on. Funny thing is, they all think they are the ones that are right.
In Japan, suicide is an honorable act to save face. In the USA it is wrong and sure ride to hell. It is what you are raised to believe that makes you the person you are. The stronger you believe it, the more it rules your life.
There are some things that just won't go away like cancer or gid. They are real. Religion is a belief and it can be unlearned. That is true freedom.
Religion is important to me and gives me added strength in times of weakness and provides blessings to my life I cannot quantify, however I realize not everyone feels this way, and I, at least, try to make my posts as non-religious as possible focusing only on my experience, on what I've learned and doing so without the presentation of dogma. I believe I've been fairly successful at it as I tend to only bring up my religion when it is asked of me to do so. I apologize if I did not sheathe my religious feelings enough in my post. I don't see any direct religious connotations in my post, but perhaps that is because I'm too used to them.
All that said, good luck to you. I'm happy you are really working hard to make the best decision for you and your family. If you need social support (as much as the internet can offer) and would desire it of me, let me know, and I'll see if there is a way I can help.
