I liked all the Q and A's as far as crossdressers are concerned.  I wish this was the case with my SO.  Four years into a relationship,  just being told.  Really can handle crossdressing.  Just wish I knew it would stay there. Still hard to process.  Thanks for listen

hi tina, welcome to susan's! there is a lot of good info on this site including a section for SOs.

remember, you've had a life time to come to terms, your SO has only had a maximum of 4 years assuming you told them at the begining.

Hey Tina i'm new to. I was married for a year and a bit before i knew.  Don't know if it helps you or not but IMHO I love whats on the inside. And evidently whats on the inside was a woman. I always said before i knew that i'd love him if he grew two heads...so i guess i'll take that and say i'll love you if you grow boobs and a va-jay jay:P

Just my opinion ^_^

Hi Tina,

Welcome to our little family. Over 2230 strong.  That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers.  Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now.  And it is always nice to have another member.

And be sure to check out

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html
• Standard Terms and Definitions https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html
• Post Ranks https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.

Janet

Hey, Tina, are you having trouble figuring out how to reply?  You don't have to quote anyone, just hit the "reply" button at the bottom of the page. Welcome to Susan's!

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for the warm welcomes.

Thanks TamTam for the help, Thanks Janet Lynn for the links. I'm new to this kinda stuff, and I'm trying to get used to the forums and boards. Please bear with me. I am the SO of a TG person who is a user here at Susan's. I was told not to long ago and my head is still spinning. He identifys as MTF. Maybe I should say she. I'm sure I'll be talking more soon enough. I've been checking out things, reading the posts, and I'm trying to figure it out. Thanks for listening.


See you all soon,

p.s. changed my user name to,

bluewolf

My girlfriend is MTF, too. But I've known for a while, now. It can be a lot to take in at first.  Being at Susan's helped me feel more comfortable with all the changes I knew would come.  I hope it helps you, too.

  Sorry TamTam I did it again.  Broke my pinky finger. So my typing isn't the best.  Thank you again for listening to me.

Would love to chat more.  So many questions?  My other half is still trying to figure out who he/she is. That's the scarey part.  I'm in the zone of the un knowing right now.  You know my other half. I want to say who but maybe I shouldn't.  I have his/her permission. Thank you again.

On that note I'll shut up

bluewolf

You don't have to apologize or shut up, bluewolf. ^_^ We are here to listen and support. Even if your SO is here, don't feel like you have to hide what you feel or like you can't ask questions.  A lot of us here know how to talk a lot, including me, and my SO is a member of the site, too.  Whether you want to say who your SO is or not is up to you two, we don't mind either way. And if you have questions, ask away! That's what we're here for, otherwise this place would be very quiet.

Welcome to Susan's! My SO is here too--Hypatia. Ask whatever questions you need. You'll be able to find support here. You have quite a journey ahead of you. When Hypatia came out to me, I had to deal with it all alone because I had to keep it secret for quite awhile. You're lucky to have found this site so early on.

Hi hun,

*hugs*

Welcome to Susan's sweetie.

Once you start looking around a bit you'll soon get used to navigating the forums and boards. I'll try to help where I can.

There is so much information, so many interesting stories about so many beautiful people. (I see you've become acquainted with some of them already.)    I hope you find answers to questions you might not think to ask me, or be afraid to ask me. Feel free to ask anyone anything that's on your mind. 

Thanks for trying to understand.

I Love You. 
me

Thank you all for being so supportive (excuse the spelling).  So many things going threw my head.  I've asked my SO questions, but I don't feel like it's getting me any were.  We don't have much money and he/she hasn't talked to a gender therpist.  I feel like I'm lost in limbo.  In my heart of hearts if we did have the money.  He/she would be gone forever.  And has pretty much told me so.

I'm a very straight female and don't think I could be a lover to another female.  I have to be careful of what I say.  But there isn't much going on in the bedroom.  And after 4 years you would have thought I had a clue.  I know there is a lot more to it and I do love him/her. Brings me to tears.

Scared to death.  I love you Linda

bluewolf

Hi bluewolf,

I hope you can find some comfort and support here. My SO has/is going through what you are too. I wish I could give you all the answers but I'm afraid I'm on the wrong side of the fence. I just hope your SO does not make the same mistake I did in going too fast.

You or your SO are more then welcome to PM me anytime and I will do what I can to help you both avoid some of the pot holes in the road that we've hit.

((((((hugs)))))

Quote from: bluewolf on April 29, 2009, 07:47:36 PM
In my heart of hearts if we did have the money.  He/she would be gone forever.  And has pretty much told me so.

I'm a very straight female and don't think I could be a lover to another female.

Are you saying that you SO has already told you she'll leave you once she transitions? Or is it that the person you thought you were with will be gone because she'll be someone else? From her post above it sounds like she loves you and wants you to understand, so I'm thinking you mean you think she'll be someone else. It may take you some time to adjust, but if you allow yourself, you'll see that she is and will always be the same person you've known all along. This is new to you, but if you keep communication open, you'll be able to see that the most essential parts of her aren't changing. They've always been there and are part of the things you love about her already. It's just going to come in different packaging, so to speak.

I always thought I was perfectly straight too. When my SO first came out to me (we weren't dating yet, but I was in love with her when I thought of her as male), I thought it would change my feelings for her. I told her I wanted to be best girlfriends, and we were from then on. It only took a couple weeks though before I realized that I didn't care what gender she was and that I was still in love with her. In fact, I found her more attractive as a woman because I could finally see all of her, all the sides she had kept hidden from me before. You might surprise yourself as well in what you can handle.

Just give yourself time to adjust. If your SO can adjust her pace for a bit (not stop) to allow you to catch up, you have a good chance of being able to work through it if you want to. If you've had a good relationship all along and love each other, I think it's worth it.

I thank you again for listening to me,

Cami and Star,  thank you for your words of wisdom.  I'm the new girl on the block (so to speak) so forgive me if my terms or laungage is messed up.  My fingers move faster then my brain sometimes. 

Then again at this time in my life my brain won't shut up.  Maybe I think to much.  All the what if's.  I guess it's the not knowing that makes it hard.  I'm trying to handle it well.  Somedays I guess it just sneeks up on me.

My SO does love me every much.  I love my SO.  Just wish I knew were to go from here.  And yes I'm sure there will be potholes and lots of them.  I guess it's going to be one day at a time for now.  This is going to be life changeing for the both of us.

I thought I said I'd leave if my SO decides to go threw with this.  But then again there's still so much to think about.  Still feel like I'm walking on eggshells.  No therpy, no money.  Guess I feel safe for now.  Maybe that's wrong.  I live in a small town and not sure if I could handle the finger pointing.  Well crap there is just so much to even consider.  My SO doesn't care but I have a low self esteem problem as it is.  I know this isn't about me,  just my brain and fingers going to town again.

Sometimes I want to talk to my SO about things.  But a lot of the time I just turn to tears.  What I can't say will be read here any ways.  It's all good. 

On that note.

Thanks again

bluewolf

::hugs:: Remember to be kind to yourself, bluewolf.  Don't feel bad for feeling emotional or scared.. everyone will handle things differently, but you have every right to feel the things you are feeling, okay?  Give yourself some time, don't rush yourself, and little by little things will become less overwhelming.

Oh God!! TamTam I really really hope so.  Thank you for responding, I'm a emotional wreck over here.  Reading reading and more reading.  Brains on overload.  Somedays I'm fine and others I feel like Linda Blare with my head twisting around.

bluewolf

Aaw.. I know the feeling, trust me.  Why not take a break from the reading for a day or two?  Sometimes information can help it feel easier to understand, but sometimes too much information can just start to blur together and overwhelm you.  Maybe you need a little break to let your subconscious start processing everything? Lie down with your favorite music in the dark for an hour or two and just let your mind be calm.  There's nothing that says you have to think about and learn everything at once.

Bluewolf,

You have every right to have feelings like your having now. Its good to let your SO know exactly how you feel too, it may help them to remember to take it slow. My spouse telling me exactly how she was feeling with brutal honesty stopped me dead in my tracks and really made me reevaluate what I was doing and how it was affecting her.

Like Beth said and I have said so often myself, I have had 32+ years to come to terms with all this, she's only had a few months.

You didn't ask for any of this but now its been dumped on you and the fact that you want to stay with your spouse says so much about you. You have a good heart, don't let it grow cold trying to make every one else happy.

Thank you again my friends,

A day or two off sounds wonderful right now.   

See you soon