Hiya folks,

Got a question for ya'll. I always hear people saying trans feminine in reference to MTF-spectrum folk and trans masculine in reference to FTM-spectrum folk but where does that leave us folks who are in fact comfortable with our (seemingly opposing) gender expressions?  What I mean is, how many MTF-spectrum folk out there actually embrace their female masculinity? How many of you FTM-spectrum folk embrace your femininity? 

For instance, even though I am a transsexual woman (and should therefore be embracing my "femininity") my gender presentation oscillates between andro and butch dyke, I'm planning on getting full sleeve tattoos, I do drag king performances, in sexual situations I've been known to take the role of Daddy or boy, I wear plaid shirts & plain white tank tops frequently, I've bound my breasts on a few occasions, and I rarely wear skirts/dresses/etc. 

If this behaviour is so commonly accepted amongst cissexual lesbians why do I find myself frequently questioning myself? Asking questions such as, does having this gender presentation invalidate my gender identity?  Does it make me a bad trans woman?  Should I try to be more feminine?  Is this just internalized trans-misogyny? 

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this from both the MTF perspective as well as the FTM perspective. Most days I absolutely embrace my butchness and feel hot and sexy and love myself for it, other days I question myself and feel weird/ambivalent about it

xoxo
Kate

it's who you are...not what you are. if that's the person you feel you should be, be proud of that person!!

Quote from: transdyke on May 07, 2009, 10:20:41 AM
Hiya folks,

Got a question for ya'll. I always hear people saying trans feminine in reference to MTF-spectrum folk and trans masculine in reference to FTM-spectrum folk but where does that leave us folks who are in fact comfortable with our (seemingly opposing) gender expressions?  What I mean is, how many MTF-spectrum folk out there actually embrace their female masculinity? How many of you FTM-spectrum folk embrace your femininity? 

For instance, even though I am a transsexual woman (and should therefore be embracing my "femininity") my gender presentation oscillates between andro and butch dyke, I'm planning on getting full sleeve tattoos, I do drag king performances, in sexual situations I've been known to take the role of Daddy or boy, I wear plaid shirts & plain white tank tops frequently, I've bound my breasts on a few occasions, and I rarely wear skirts/dresses/etc. 

If this behaviour is so commonly accepted amongst cissexual lesbians why do I find myself frequently questioning myself? Asking questions such as, does having this gender presentation invalidate my gender identity?  Does it make me a bad trans woman?  Should I try to be more feminine?  Is this just internalized trans-misogyny? 

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this from both the MTF perspective as well as the FTM perspective. Most days I absolutely embrace my butchness and feel hot and sexy and love myself for it, other days I question myself and feel weird/ambivalent about it

xoxo
Kate

Kate - I think you and I would have a lot in common if we met afk... although I present far more fem in appearance, I do embrace some of the butch aspects of my personality.  We're most likely a rarer breed of transperson, but that doesn't make us illegitimate.  In my mind if x percent of the cis female population is lesbian and a smaller subset of that identifies butch, why wouldn't we see similar percentages within the trans community?

And I must admit - a Drag King performance is one my "to do" list.  And I have met other transwomen who perform as Drag Kings.  So you're not the only one.

So if this is who you are, embrace it - there's nothing wrong with being you.

Many people feel like they have to "prove" their transness, especially if they are just begining to figure things out.  I myself am FtM, but have long hair and definately prefer women's clothing.  To each their own.

Well, I definitely embrace my masculinity, just in different ways than you. I don't like makeup, I have a very crude sense of humor and can frequently be found making sexual innuendos or what have you, I love video games / skateboarding / beer pong / typically guy sports. I'm ultra competitive and can be rather aggressive. I love having a submissive role in sex, but sometimes I do also like to be on the more dominant end. As far as clothes, I like a lot of the in between stuff. Rarely anything super girlie, but rarely anything really guyish.

I used to question being transsexual since I didn't get why sometimes I just seemed like such a guy. I'm definitely a girl when it comes down to it though, it just took awhile for me to be 100% certain.

I am nowhere near the most masculine man out there.
I'm not a "Man's Man" and I don't feel the need to flex and belch and beat my chest in an alpha-male fashion to feel masculine.
I do have a moments of worrying.. what if I'm not man enough? what if they don't want to give me the things I need to transition, to be "me"? But that's not the deal..
It's not about what your interests or hobbies are, it's not about who you want to date, it's not about what your dream job is or Anything like that. It's not about anything you "do", it's about who you "are". Who I am isn't a "man's man", but it's still a bloke. Who you are may not be a "girly girl" but that doesn't mean you're any less of a woman.

I'm pretty much 50-50 personality-wise on the masculinity/femininity scale. I do, however, present entirely as male. I'll paint my nails once in awhile, but the vast majority of people who see me think i'm more masculine than most bioguys. I spent enough years of my life wearing slightly feminine clothing... the last thing I'd do now is wear something I'm not comfortable with.

But yeah... screw what some people think about how "you can't be trans if this... or that...". That crap drives me nuts. If you're trans, you're trans. Whatever. Don't be afraid of who you are.

SD

We are all the same and different at the same time.  Me I'm fem to a fault, but will hike, sail, and kayak while being fem.  To each their own. There is no wrong answer.  We each have to find...be the person inside.  It is NOT, one size fits all.  Makes it far more interesting that way

Beni

Quote from: Sebastien on May 07, 2009, 03:56:50 PM
I'm pretty much 50-50 personality-wise on the masculinity/femininity scale. I do, however, present entirely as male.

I am as above. I can be feminie I have alot of female friends so I have some of there traits I pick up along the way.  I like to look good dress nice (kinda gay prep/mod/skater whatever takes my mood) I don't paint my nails or wear any make up though. Would love to wear eye liner though, but I shall wait till I grow more stubble.

Jay