I had to take time to realize there are two words in the English language that could be mistakenly used.

I used to use the word "Jealous" religiously.

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust.

Envy may be defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another's [perceived] superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."[1] It can also derive from a sense of low self-esteem that results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have.


Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.

I'm envious of women. Their shoes, blouses, figures, hair...you name it. It is one of the deadly sins. I'll be put in freezing water for eternity for this crime according to some. 

All I can say is transition will cure the envy. Then what?  I'll be good? I'll probably still be envious of Ashley Judd or somebody. Just about every woman is envious about something.


How many here have confused the two besides me?

It seems a normal confusion, Lore, as our language changes and accepted definitions don't always follow accepted usages outside of academic writing and maybe church writings (for those of us thinking we may be there in the ice with Satan in Dante's Infierno!! )

And I totally agree that once the envy is gone there will be 1) other things to envy and 2) definitely things to be jealous of!! That seems gtrue no matter what human designator any of us plop for!!

You seem to be holding up pretty well this time through.   And that's giving me a good deal of happiness!

Wikipidea has an excellent article on envy and the seven deadly sins. I believe the counter to envy is charity. However I am very much caught up in sloth at the moment, so please do your own research.

Excellent post.

Mich'

Quote from: Nichole on May 11, 2009, 05:23:45 PM
It seems a normal confusion, Lore, as our language changes and accepted definitions don't always follow accepted usages outside of academic writing and maybe church writings (for those of us thinking we may be there in the ice with Satan in Dante's Infierno!! )

And I totally agree that once the envy is gone there will be 1) other things to envy and 2) definitely things to be jealous of!! That seems true, no matter what human designator any of us plop for!!

You seem to be holding up pretty well this time through.   And that's giving me a good deal of happiness!

I'm holding lol. I have a long ways to go. Plenty of time to fall apart later. 

Funny thing it was not until just recently that I realized I had been wrong all this time using jealousy as a way to describe my feelings.

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Post Merge: May 11, 2009, 05:47:26 PM

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Quote from: michellesofl on May 11, 2009, 05:38:17 PM
Wikipidea has an excellent article on envy and the seven deadly sins. I believe the counter to envy is charity. However I am very much caught up in sloth at the moment, so please do your own research.

Excellent post.

Mich'

I'm going to have to do a lot of charity hee hee. 

That's an interesting distinction and clearly stated, Lori.

I'm only three weeks into fulltime, but I've noticed I watch women more than I used to.  I'll see an attractive woman and wonder what it is that makes her attractive.  I don't think it is envy or jealousy, but is a way of trying to learn from her. 

I spent too many years wishing.  Once I finally realized my fairy godmother wasn't going to return my calls, I began to work on myself.

Aren't jealousy and envy just self-destructive ways of avoiding the real work we need to do on ourselves?

Not there yet but finally heading in the right direction (I think),
Kate

Quote from: K8 on May 12, 2009, 08:23:47 AM
That's an interesting distinction and clearly stated, Lori.

I'm only three weeks into fulltime, but I've noticed I watch women more than I used to.  I'll see an attractive woman and wonder what it is that makes her attractive.  I don't think it is envy or jealousy, but is a way of trying to learn from her. 

I spent too many years wishing.  Once I finally realized my fairy godmother wasn't going to return my calls, I began to work on myself.

Aren't jealousy and envy just self-destructive ways of avoiding the real work we need to do on ourselves?

Not there yet but finally heading in the right direction (I think),
Kate

Ah...yet you bring another word to the mix. Wishing. Which one does "wishing" fall under do you feel?

Quote from: Lori on May 12, 2009, 05:23:28 PM
Ah...yet you bring another word to the mix. Wishing. Which one does "wishing" fall under do you feel?

Jealousy and envy have perjorative connotations, but wishing usually doesn't.  You can be considered a bad person for being jealous or envious but are given a break for just wishing.  All three can be self-destructive, though.   Instead, we all need to eat our Powder Milk Biscuits because they give shy persons the will to do what needs to be done.  

Actually, I think perhaps the destructiveness of jealousy, envy, wishing, and some other things is from the fact that they are ways of avoiding doing the work on ourselves that would help us.  It's much easier to tell you what's wrong with you than it is to fix me.

- Kate