I got a message today that my first session with the transgender psychologist- which was supposed to be this Thursday- has to be rescheduled to the end of this month. I was thinking of telling my husband over the weekend, depending on if the psychologist thought it would be the right time. It's becoming harder and harder to not tell him. I think he's getting suspicious something is up, too. Argh! I am so pissed and conflicted right now. This is getting exhausting.

take a breath and let it out....it'll be ok...you can do this...it's only a couple more weeks away...i know that it's hard, but you can do it...

Quote from: kody2011 on May 11, 2009, 08:03:40 PM
take a breath and let it out....it'll be ok...you can do this...it's only a couple more weeks away...i know that it's hard, but you can do it...

There are some days I just want to smash my head through a brick wall.
Oh Yeah.

yeah I can relate. It's easy to say it's only 2 weeks away until you realize making it through the next few hours is difficult. Try and hang in there, maybe take up a new hobby (haha).
Myles

O.K., so I got it rescheduled for first thing next Tuesday. One more week of avoiding the issue. Times already crawling as is and I have another weekend to tolerate.

Oh man, do I know roadblocks.
*hugs* If you keep working, keep pushing, keep trying to get past the roadblocks, it's a valuable affirmation of how much you really "want" to go forward, and in the end, all those hurdles will be extra reasons for them to take you seriously.
(At least that's what I tell myself each time my scavenger-hunt of a transition gives me a "next clue" sort of response.)

Quote from: Miniar on May 12, 2009, 09:13:03 AM
Oh man, do I know roadblocks.
*hugs* If you keep working, keep pushing, keep trying to get past the roadblocks, it's a valuable affirmation of how much you really "want" to go forward, and in the end, all those hurdles will be extra reasons for them to take you seriously.
(At least that's what I tell myself each time my scavenger-hunt of a transition gives me a "next clue" sort of response.)

Yes, when I trip over a hurdle I need to just get back up and keep running.

Quote from: Radar on May 12, 2009, 10:23:38 AM
Yes, when I trip over a hurdle I need to just get back up and keep running.

Precisely!
Though no one will blame you if you curse the hurdle a little while you're getting to your feet

I remember I finally wanted to tell my family by the time the holidays last year were coming up...  So I forced myself to wait for 3 months until they were over and I had come back from California.

Good luck holding out.  Every time you have to push the deadline back it gets harder and more desperate.  I know that I was happy that I waited to do it how I wanted to, instead of just blurting it out and making things difficult for my family (more difficult than they have to be).  So waiting may suck, but you'll likely have a lot less regrets this way.

But never feel like you have to regret being you.

I guess I'm weird. I told family and friends,....never saw a therapist yet. Working on it tho, got my name change a while a go and been full time for....a long time.

Quote from: myles on May 11, 2009, 10:07:48 PM
yeah I can relate. It's easy to say it's only 2 weeks away until you realize making it through the next few hours is difficult.

What he said! I used to count the hours. Now I only count the days. But, boy, do I remember what it was like to slog my way through every sixty-minute interval...I sympathize.