Well today was my appt. At the gender therapists.  What a great day.  All went well it was pretty painless.

If it's painful, you're not doing it right. 

What did you expect, a giant needle? 

My first day today too! Amazing day. Girls and Guys if your not doing therapy please start now. You'll be so glad you did.

One step closer to living in my own skin.

I begin my therapy in a couple weeks.  I am away from home on a 6 week business trip, so naturally thats when I make the decision to do something about all of this. 

At any rate, I talked to a nice counselor by phone at an outreach, who helped me find a counselor not too far from my home.  I am excited to finally talk about this at least.

I dont know what to expect, and I am scared about what I might learn.

Scared to find out just how much or how little woman is in me.
Scared that all of this is just a fantasy and I have some other mental issue.
Scared to finally tell someone what it is that I feel.
Scared that I might have wasted so many years.
Scared that I might make the wrong decision and make things worse.
Scared that I might do nothing and continue to live in my daily pain.
Scared that I might be told that I am perfectly normal.
Scared that if I choose to become a woman that I might never be accepted as one.

OMG I am scaring myself...

well some peoples have issues in their past they find painful i know i did and others are just frightened so no need to be snippy if you didnt...

Hey, how do you go about finding a therapist?  Just look it up in the phonebook or what?

Hard question.

I looked in a phone book, on line and in other resources and come up dry.  I am not sure why, but it seems to me that some counselors are reluctant to put Gender Counseling in their adds.

For me, I finally resorted to using a free counseling service available on line to members of a group I belong to.  For fear of being discovered I am not willing to link it or name it here.  But, the interventionist I spoke to was very helpful, and quickly found me a counselor in my general area that was willing to see me.  In this, I feel blessed, because the counselor is a full PHD, and the organization is picking up the tab for the first 12 sessions.

Sorry I can help you more.

I found mine on a local trans resource website. She's the best. Search organizations in you area. Google "transgender resources + city name"
Check out therapist webpages. Read their history/ about us etc... and find a common thread in them before contacting them. Google them and see how truly active in the community they really are. If you start off with someone and it's not a match, move on. Your therapist is out there!

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Post Merge: May 14, 2009, 02:20:09 PM

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Btw Feever your are normal dear! We all pretty much have the same laundry list of fears.  Research the details of transition whenever possible. I've found that the more I know about really being a transwoman in the world the more comfortable I am about the outcome of my transition.

First steps for me too .
We are just becoming the beautiful women we've really always been

Jillian

Quote "what were you expecting, a giant needle?  I don't know what I was expecting, somebody to tell me that I was mentally ill maybe?  After my visit, I was so excited, I think everyone needs to just put their fears aside and just be honest with their therapist.  Have great journey!  I know I will.  -