Hi What2do.
When I told my 34 year-old daughter I wanted to transition, her first question was: Can I still call you Papa?
Your father has been thinking about this his whole life, but it is new to you. Of course you are confused. You've already had a lot of loss and don't want to lose him. He, too, has had a lot of loss and doesn't want to lose you but also doesn't want to lose himself.
My wife - the love of my life - died two years ago. She always knew I was a crossdresser. After she died, I went through the grief process and finally came to terms with her illness and death, the difficulties of how she was when she was sick and the loss of her. When I still felt blocked, I finally realized I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I thought I should be a girl when I was 4. Perhaps your father is going through a similar process.
Open, direct communication is the best. Tell your father how you feel and encourage him to tell you how you feel. He's probably a bit confused right now, too.
My friends have been accepting and encouraging me as I transition, including a girl I grew up with as an almost-sibling. My genetic sister is having a hard time with it. I think it is often hardest on family members because of the depth and richness of our history together.
Some of my friends have expressed concern about "losing Dan". One of my male friends has now decided that I'm not that different and we can still do the same things together as we used to. You father probably has no idea how much he will change, either. In a way, you will both go on this journey together.
You are afraid of losing your Dad. I've only been Katherine for a little over two weeks now, but already I have found a deep happiness I never experienced before. I think if you stay in loving communication with each other you will find that you have even more of your Dad than you have had before.
Let us know how you're doing.
*hugs*
- Kate
