Have you ever felt in love or just infatuated with a lesbian? The first girl who totally accepted me was lez. She is 22 years my junior but we became best friends. She's such a cutie. She told me many times she loved me, we hugged, we kissed, (but no making out). She also said no one knew her better than me. I was really nuts about her. But she was hopelessly lesbian and saw me only as a guy, no matter how I was dressed. I even asked her if I transitioned would she be interested in me. She told me I'd be crazy if I "chopped that off".

So here I was, a transsexual who loves women and I'm with this little hottie who tells me she loves me, hugs me, kisses me and often said I was the best thing to happen to her in her life. My head was spinning! But every time I got close emotionally she pushed me away. She didn't want to be romantic with a guy and she couldn't see me as anything but. I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place. Finally I had to stop seeing her. I couldn't handle the inner turmoil. I ran into her last weekend after almost eight months not seeing her. She looked great! And she was with her lover, someone I was instrumental in her meeting. We hugged, talked a bit then went on with our business.

She's happy. And so am I. But I still miss her.

I'm so sorry, Julie Marie, that your friend could not see past the physical and realize who you are.  I think that she probably regrets it too.

I've never really had a relationship of any kind with someone I knew to be lesbian.  I don't know how I would approach someone with that orientation now that I've figured out who I am and, of course, since I'm committed to my wife  .  Even though it had to end I'm sure that both you and her are richer for the experience and I think that that's what counts.

helen

The answer to your question is Yes, but I realized I needed to emotionally detach myself for now.  We are still friends.

Melissa

Quote from: Julie Marie on July 30, 2006, 09:26:23 AM
The first girl who totally accepted me was lez.

Quote
But she was hopelessly lesbian and saw me only as a guy, no matter how I was dressed. I even asked her if I transitioned would she be interested in me. She told me I'd be crazy if I "chopped that off".

Somehow that doesn't sound like total acceptance to me.  Total acceptance is when you can or are asked to participate in "girl games" without a second thought by any of the parties involved.

Leigh

Tink, there's nothing wrong with finding women attractive.  I do and I'm not ashamed to say so.

Melissa

Sorry to hear about that Julie but at least you were able to move on.

I tend to attract lesbians and straight guys.  One woman only saw me as female until others decided to stick their noses where they did not belong.  I had to end up cutting that relationship off as it was a bit unhealthy for me, emotionally speaking.

I also had a recent thing where this guy really liked me and only saw me as female but knew I was TS and pre-op.  The air between us eventually grew too thick and we have not seen in each other much in the recent months.

Tink, not that unusual for orientation to shift a bit.  It may just be certain individuals.  I started out just being into women but recently that has shifted.  While I still do like women, there have been a couple of guys (like the one above) that I have found myself drawn to in the last year.  When friends ask I just say that I am attracted to individuals, not a particular gender.

Quote from: tinkerbell on July 31, 2006, 01:56:31 AM
I've always said that I didnt feel any attraction for females at all, well, now it is not 100% so, and this confuses me.  That's all.

Well, I felt the same way about men as LIT said.  For the most part I'm attracted to women, but I am finding my orientation shifting somewhat while I transition.  For one thing, now that I'm not living as a guy, most guys just don't seem so bad now.  Weird.

Melissa

Oh, I must admit I have a weakness for lesbians... or at least boyish-looking girls. Ashley Judd (with short hair)... adorable. Shane on ShowTime's "The L Word" (love that show, BTW). Gina Gershon in the movie "Bound." Katie Sackhoff as Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica. And so on...

I dunno what the fascination is, but it's always kinda concerned me, lol...

yes, 25 years younger ...now we are bestt friends

sheila18

Quote from: Melissa on July 30, 2006, 01:45:16 PM
The answer to your question is Yes, but I realized I needed to emotionally detach myself for now.  We are still friends.

Melissa

Well, I told her how I felt about her tonight.  I'll have to wait to see how it pans out.  She has a lot to think about.

Melissa

Quote from: Leigh on July 30, 2006, 06:20:45 PM

Somehow that doesn't sound like total acceptance to me.  Total acceptance is when you can or are asked to participate in "girl games" without a second thought by any of the parties involved.

Leigh

Let's put it this way, she didn't care how I dressed. She loved me either way. She was blind to how I presented myself. But she and I first connected when, for the first time, I went to a TG club as Jim. A TG friend talked me into it as a sort of a bet that no one would recognize me in drab. Dawn, my lez friend, did. We talked at a closer level that night than we ever had. I even told her she could move in, no expectations, she'd have her own bedroom and bathroom. But we really connected that night. That stuck with her. She often said she connected better with Jim than Julie because that's who she connected to first.

Whatever, that's just a chapter in my life. But there's no doubt I'm attracted to lesbians. I just identify with them. I was at a lez club a few weeks ago. There was a table of about 10 girls just behind where I was sitting. I went over to talk to them and they invited me to join them. One of the girls made me an honorary lesbian. You have to understand, I still hadn't even tried to speak in a femme voice so it was totally obvious I was a guy (physically) once the first word left my mouth. I'm just beginning to gain confidence in my voice. But I thought it was cool the girls accepted me so readily. We danced and had a ball that night. Hmmm... I think I need to go back there soon!

Julie:
My experience echoes your post, agree with you totally.  Most of my female friends (not acquaintances) are lesbians, and they accept me no matter how am dressed or mood am in.  Few years back I fell deeply for this totally amazing lesbian R. I could not get her out of my mind for years. everything was good with her, unfortunately she had an addiction problem.
Yes, having fun with a lesbian is at a higher level, no pretentions and false expectations and games played by most straight girls.
   I have better relationship with lesbians.
sheila18

Yes I have But there's a reason for that lol.

My closest friends have all been lesbians. We feel more in tune somehow.

It made people jealous in the past when another lesbian & I just clicked & talked in between the lines to each other!

More in harmony.


Sky XXX

Quote from: Julie Marie on August 01, 2006, 06:40:40 PMBut there's no doubt I'm attracted to lesbians. I just identify with them.

Same here - or should I say that there's a very big part of me that identifies as one.

I used to attend an LGBT group that met regularly, and the group was mostly women. There was one woman there whom I found myself attracted to, and she was always friendly and welcoming to me. She would even get behind where I was sitting and put her hands on my shoulders. (Did I mention that because of scheduling constraints I had to always go in drab?) Dang, I miss her. I moved so I couldn't keep going to the meetings, and one time one of the other women said something that I thought was hurtful. I wish I had stayed in touch.

Julie,

I am so sorry it did not work out for the two of you to be together.  Like Liegh said, it does not sound like she totally accepted you.  She may have said all the right things to make you feel this way, but in the end she shown her true colors so to speak.  I am happy you moved on.  There are lots of other girls out there.  Its just a matter of finding the right one to be with.  I wish you well on your quest.   

I can't say that I have ever been in a relationship with a lesbian.  I do find some lesbians to be very attractive if their not too butch. 

Shannon

Okay, here you girls go, an opinion from the other end. Being an FtM, I started out figuring I was a lesbian, because I didn't think the process of going through hormone therapy, etc was as acceptable as I have now found it to be. I spent a year hanging around the only lesbian bar in town, and met my 2 best friends there--- one is a bisexual chick with whom I had a brief relationship, the other is a lesbian who was in love with me until she kissed me and realized what I had already known: there was absolutely no chemistry there. Actually, the only woman I've ever slept with was a lesbian, but that ended badly... no need to say much more.

However, since I have come out as TS, lesbians no longer want me. I was always what people might consider "butch" (because, despite the labels, I was always FtM), but now, they're not interested. I don't know if it's the thing about my having a predominantly masculine personality, or the fact that I'm not interested in the same type of sex they have (as opposed to typical male-on-female). Now, I've never been incredibly attracted to lesbians, mostly because of the sex thing and the fact many tend to appear very masculine (and I'm predominantly attracted to very feminine women), but it seems odd to me that they would reject an MtF because she was once a man, but also an FtM because he does not consider himself female, though he still has the parts. For me, it's little loss, because I prefer the straight chicks anyway, but it seems pretty paradoxical.

And as a straight man, whom some might call a lesbian because of my current problems with, well, those pesky female parts, I would have no compunctions about dating an MtF. For me, it's the inside that counts.

Rafe

I can understand, actually; I think lesbians want partners who are the same mentally and anatomically. I can relate, at least somewhat. (I seem to go back and forth between feeling like a lesbian and feeling like I'm mostly straight - it's almost like being 2 different people.) I can see myself dating an FTM but it'd be a whole different context than being with a woman.

                I can only be with a lesbian, I like straight women as aquaintances but just don't have much in common with them even to be close friends. It's the same with straight men, ok as aquaintances but not as friends.  I know it's not the most accepting view but it is what it is.


beth

Being I guess what I will call a bi-curious lesbian, I can definitely spend time with either lesbians or straight women as friends.

Melissa

Quote from: Rafe on August 05, 2006, 01:35:57 PM
Okay, here you girls go, an opinion from the other end. Being an FtM, I started out figuring I was a lesbian, because I didn't think the process of going through hormone therapy, etc was as acceptable as I have now found it to be. I spent a year hanging around the only lesbian bar in town, and met my 2 best friends there--- one is a bisexual chick with whom I had a brief relationship, the other is a lesbian who was in love with me until she kissed me and realized what I had already known: there was absolutely no chemistry there.

However, since I have come out as TS, lesbians no longer want me. I was always what people might consider "butch" (because, despite the labels...... but now, they're not interested.  I don't know if it's the thing about my having a predominantly masculine personality
Rafe

Rafe:
  funny you say that  I have experienced the same in my life and it was confusing then. Now Ithath i have more experience i see things that i missed before such as  I have two friends (lesbians) that connected with me because am transgenderred, one just recently admited to me that she wants a sex change after 5 years of friendship. The other would like a sex change but can't for medical reasons.  They went through the same journey you described.  We often look for reasons and sometimes even formulas but there aren't any.

   some lesbians i know are turned off by any sign of maleness they say, however whenever a very attractive and fit hot guy swows up (specially in a bike ... or stimulants) they end up in bed with ...I think htet book Blink explains it well.   Beyond intellect...
sheila18