So me, danni, a 21 yet unchanged "guy"( but passable as a woman in the right cloths) am basically being forced to go out with my boyfriends family to watch a parade for Memorial Day... and my social anxiety is really... really kicking in.

I'm so scared an unsure of what to do.

I know that my BF loves me for me and has promised to stay by my side during my transition in the near future, but his family on the other hand... just don't like me( or so it seems to me ). His father is the worst of all, insulting me behind my back, and sometimes to my face, for how i am. ( all he knows is I'm "a ->-bleeped-<-ot queer" )

But tomorrow I already said that I would go to this parade with all his family member, cause I know that I don't go out enough as is. But about this parade and lots and lots of people... I'm freaking out. I don't want to go, but I said I would, and I don't want to let him down, but I can't stop shaking thinking about being around all those people.

What should I do?

Sounds like a bad combination to me.

Have you talked to your BF about it?

I would tell them this is tough and you don't really want to do it but you also don't want to let them down. It is hard enough dealing with his family, but on top of that you are also dealing with social anxiety. Lay your cards on the table. Ask for lots of support.

i have told him that i don't want to go, and he's already told me that it is okay, and i can stay home. but i want to spend time with him, and I'm torn between hiding under the covers, or smacking myself and forcing my brain to shut off so i can just enjoy the sunshine with him.

If you want to be with him, then go.  Just hold on to him and let him 'protect' you.  And Enjoy the day.

Janet

It's a public event...  most people aren't willing to let their ugly sides show when there's an audience.  Unless that's the sort of thing they make a living off of.

Maybe you can spend time with him and his family after the parade? Like maybe lunch or something where it will be a little quieter. Also though...this is a parade...people tend to not focus of the details of other person because there is so much going on.

Thanks for the little bits of support and ideas. I ended up going and never leaving his side... basically clung to his arm for 3 hours, and went to  a BBQ with him after, basically held his hand for another 2 hours while -trying- to make small talk with the people that i didn't know.