I have been taking little bitty baby steps for the last 7 years, HRT, shaving, plucked eyebrows, developing a more feminine voice, I am at a plateau, my breast have grown to the point to where I'm binding them like a F2M might. My next steps are permanent and irreversible, castration, electrolysis or this new laser and permanent makeup.

I am scarred and I have no idea why I'm posting this other then some sorta record of my feelings at this point, thanks for listening

Go for you, Girl.

Baby steps are the way to go.  But soon you will be running.  Sometime in the near future it will be choice time.  Go forward or stall.

Janet

Being scared has got to be the status quo in this. Nothing like making that final commitment. Irreversible surgery is one of those things that allows one to test their faith.

Like Stacy Brahm said in my "Dirty Secret" thread, it is a leap of faith. You know why you are posting it. I will do the same when my time comes. Reassurance, knowing I'll be o.k. and having others confirm my faith will hold and I'll be fine.

I think you will be fine. I think you just have to believe in order for faith to work. Unless you have major doubts, proceed with a smile. Then swallow the minor doubts because those are caused by fear and the unknown.

Be honest. Deep down inside in the pit of the bottom of your heart, don't you feel just a twinge of excitement? If you do, you are just following your hearts desires and how can you go wrong in doing that?

Go at your own pace - baby steps or leaps.

Once I started, all my doubts were no longer if I should do this but became whether I can do this.  There's a lot of soul-searching involved in this process, hopefully with the help of a good therapist.

Hair removal is irreversible, but it's not irreversible like castration.  (BTW, I used laser to good effect to get rid of the dark hairs and so only have to endure electrolysis for the white ones.)

Stepping off the cliff is always scary.  You will know when the time is right for you.  And if you decide you have to do it, there are a bunch of us here who will hold your hands as we all go over the side.

*hugs*
Kate

Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on June 03, 2009, 07:01:10 AM
My next steps are permanent and irreversible, castration, electrolysis or this new laser and permanent makeup.

I am scarred and I have no idea why I'm posting this other then some sorta record of my feelings at this point, thanks for listening

At some point you make the decision and it becomes inevitable.  You're about to start a wave of change and that can make you feel that you will be overwhelmed.  Yeah it is scary.  But you'll be fine.

This starts the white-knuckled part of the ride.  Enjoy it!

-Sandy

whenever I hear the bit about changes being "irreversible" I just think, well, isn't that the point? To me making the final decision to carry through with this no matter what it takes brought a kind of peace in me that I'd never had before. Like Kate said, just hold on and we'll all be stepping off this cliff together lol

I wish you all the best Cyndi, a lot of us are going down the same road 

Cyndi, i been taking those same baby steps for the last year,  been on hormones a year, last 7 months getting things in order to go full time in a few months, removing facial hair, growing my hair longer, working on my voice etc. so when i do go full time I'm hoping it will be a pretty seamless transition. When i have to be him, which isn't too often these days i am very androgynous leaning heavily toward the female side, woman's jeans, Reebok's, tops, necklace, watch, earrings, clear polish, mascara and eyebrow pencil,.others would have to be blind not to have noticed, I'm hoping when they do know it will be gee we wondered when you were going to say something.

Paula

For me, once I got over the hurdle of part time and went full time, so many things fell into place. It was a relief to be honest.