I haven't ever put too much thought into passing or not, it's something I take for granted.

I never remember my nightmares either.

I just had a pretty bad nightmare, filled with stupid junk like my body inflating spontaneously with muscle and ripping all my clothes like some sort of hulk effect or having to change clothes in front of lots of people.  I don't know what else.

I woke up and I was actually crying before I even woke up; that's the first time that has happened.

Now I'm unsettled.  I'm a scorpio through and through and starting my day out of control like that has me unnerved.  That and I couldn't call my boyfriend because I got caught in a tornado last night and my phone is waterlogged(which is the start of a million more problems).

I can hypothesize that this new guy I'm with might be the root of it.  He's a bit out of my league, or at least was a few months ago.  I seem to be getting prettier and prettier, used to it was either limited to a hot guy or a smart guy for me, and I wound up getting a nice mixture of both, and I'm always freaking out over my appearance and all this other crap.

Any of you react physically to nightmares like that?  What about stuff about passing?  Ever been able to figure out why you're having the nightmare?  Or, has it just been someone up above saying, "screw you," and messing with your head?

It happens to me pretty often.  I dream my boobs grow back, my dick falls off, etc. 

I haven't woke up crying from one, but I usually wake up and check to make sure if everything is as it should be.

I have what you might call "nightmares" almost every night. I dream of being closed into tight little spaces, or having my fingers snipped off (piece by piece) by an anonymous tormentor, or being chased by things, or I just feel a pronounced sense of fear and panic in my dream even if the dream itself is just silly (A vault full of candy and raptors...)

They usually don't get to me that much, but I've been having dreams where I "know" I'm a bloke, I can see myself, a man, in mirrors and such, and yet, everyone around me insists on treating me like a pretty little princess!
And then usually I watch my body deform into a feminine "masterpiece" and so on.

Or I dream about being caught out as "not really a boy" and beaten within an inch of my life (which isn't a rational fear up here really).

... or so on.. so forth...

Usually wake up a little rattled after those.

The nice thing about your dreams is that you control them. If you don't like the dream, wake yourself up for instance. Or failing that, don't remember on waking.
Just thoughts.

yeah, considering how little actual sleep I get, waking up isn't that much of an option.
Then there's the simple fact that not everyone has enough control over his/her dreams to decide to wake up.

Quote from: Kimberly on June 19, 2009, 10:16:29 PM
The nice thing about your dreams is that you control them. If you don't like the dream, wake yourself up for instance. Or failing that, don't remember on waking.
Just thoughts.

That's a nice thought, but not really so easy. I've had the occasional nightmare regarding my transition, but *those* aren't what usually bother me (heck, last night, I had one where I was naked and pre-op and running around in public and didn't care O.o). The nightmares that truly get me and that are far more frequent are rape nightmares, in which I have absolutely no control and no option of gaining control. My ex-boyfriend took that control from me. I might someday get it back, but it's not as simple as you make it sound. =\

Not that I would encourage such behavior, but it seem smoking pot before bed will mute a lot of the dream cycle.

It just sounds like a worst-fears type of dream. You don't want to go back to that hyper masculine way of being and something lately is triggering that fear more than normal, basically what you said...redundant I know.

I barely if ever remember my dreams but in the last week have had 2 dreams where I'm doing things completely opposite to what I would normally do, it was so disturbing and bothered me the whole day. Normally i can pinpoint a moment in the last few days or something someone said that might have lead to the dream, but in these ones....ugh....seems like out of the blue and pretty similar to yours. Most dreams are a like a more elaborate form of simply thinking about something, working out fear, hopes etc...  I don't remember ever having one that could be called pleasant though, maybe someday that will change.

Alot of substances and activities will change the quality/quantity of the dream state especially the above-mentioned one.

Most dreams I have about transition are actually good dreams. When I have a nightmare, it's usually pretty obvious why. I think I'd probably have nightmares, too, if I had been "caught in a tornado." 

I've have been having the whole masculine dream thing lately. I Don't wake up in tears, although I've been close at times. I ususally just wake up all paranoid and sweaty, thinking that my transition has all just been a dream and I'm starting back at square one. I do think that it has a lot to do with the way my ex and her family treated me prior to my divorce and for about a year after, But thats a totally different topic.

The closest thing to having a nightmare for me is this feeling of becoming a hairy monster.

Since then I've tried to shave as much as I can and started using Nair, only to have it come back.

It's probably mostly what other people have said.  Your fears.  I think we all fear going back to how we were before we made all these strides in our transitions.  I wake up from a lot of dreams where I spend most of the dream confused as to why I'm a girl.  I'm afraid of being perceived that way by others, especially by someone I love.  Maybe you're afraid your boyfriend will see you for your history and not as the person you are?

Quote from: Miniar on June 19, 2009, 12:47:35 PM
.... if the dream itself is just silly (A vault full of candy and raptors...)

Willy Wonka meets Jurassic Park?

Quote from: tekla on June 26, 2009, 10:50:42 AM
smoking pot before bed will mute a lot of the dream cycle.

This is tempting. God knows I could use some recreation, and all the fun substances are prohibited by hrt and the whole clot thing. I haven't touched weed since my early early teens, but it was a lot of fun as I recall.

I can loosely relate to what your'e describing, in a kind of backwards way. When I was still having laser done, I'd dream afterword of giant, yarn-thickness whiskers growing back in place of the zapped ones, and of pieces of flesh coming off with them if I tried to pluck. After I went to the surgeon to talk about neck work I had nightmares about being beheaded. That one messed me up for a while.

You just had that traumatic swimsuit issue a little while ago, it's probably just your brain downloading and processing everything.