Sorry if there's been a thread like this before.

I've been told by my counsellor to look into the way that men and women act and how it's different, etc. I'm finding it kind of hard though. Mainly cause I don't go out much, and when I do, I just get on with things and forgot to watch people.

It'd be great if you could list any typical male or female behaviours.

Cheers,
Gizzy

Go to a shopping mall, buy a coffee, sit and watch.

-={LR}=-

Quote from: Gizzy on June 19, 2009, 01:59:56 PM
I don't go out much, and when I do, I just get on with things

That's a typical male behaviour right there 

The PC Gender Police may come around and go RAWR over some of the generalizations that this thread might bring up. In reality, everyone displays a range of both masculine and feminine behaviours.

Now on to "sweeping generalization fun time!"

Women can't go anywhere alone - least of all the toilet. I have no idea why. Interestingly, men will avoid going with other men at all costs!

Women will all talk at once, each louder than the last. Interestingly enough, they'll also be able to listen and follow the conversation at the same time. Men will be completely baffled at this, as they generally speak one at a time (with interruptions handled by merit of content, and length of time the first speaker has been going).

Men seem to stand as if they are standing at a urinal ALL the time. Shop counter? Urinal stance. Having a smoke? Urinal Stance. Waiting for a train? Urinal stance. Women seem to put their weight on one leg only, and throw their hips to the side.

Men and women both engage in one-up-man-ship to determine social pecking order. It's just carried out in different ways. Men seem to gloat more, women seem to cut down other women who aren't present. Men will freely admit this, women will not.

Women tend to be more emotive in their speech. Men tend to be quicker to the point.



... Urinal stance.

To be hounest the best advice I can give is to relax just do what feels right to you. We all have to unlearn a few things that have been forced upon us but this journey is about finding ourselves and not just acting out a role.

Ann

Yeah.
I'm not looking for new behaviours to adopt though. I am who I am. I'm not gonna live in urinal stance just because it'll make me look like a man.

Quote from: Gizzy on June 19, 2009, 04:45:34 PM
Yeah.
I'm not looking for new behaviours to adopt though. I am who I am. I'm not gonna live in urinal stance just because it'll make me look like a man.

lol good for you, dude

I have found that if I just relax, and sink into that place where the knowledge is held that it comes to the surface naturally.  And we have been observing all of our lives, subconscienely.  Just let if flow from within.


Janet

Yeah I noticed the urinal stance thing too. I myself don't do that because my right leg is messed up and I can't put as much weight on it as the left. so I do the shifting weight from one side to the other. Who knows if that'll change after being on T and center of gravity shifting.

Anyway, a great way to go people watching is to just take a walk, especially if you have a busy downtown area. The mall idea is good too. If you have an mp3 player listen to some tunes and watch people go about their day. And if you wanna have some fun try to look as menacing as possible and see how they react in fear/discomfort.

Quote from: Anonymouse on June 19, 2009, 04:22:31 PM
To be hounest the best advice I can give is to relax just do what feels right to you. We all have to unlearn a few things that have been forced upon us but this journey is about finding ourselves and not just acting out a role.

Ann

I'll second what Ann said.  Relax.  Be yourself, finally.  Be surprised at what comes out.

To contine on Teknoir's theme, though...   (With the understanding that these are gross generalizations. )

Men will talk about things; women will talk about people and feelings.

Men will tend to strut their stuff while talking; women will try to connect while talking.  (I had heard this for years but didn't really understand it until becoming Kate.  I find that I do it too, now, and absolutely love relating to people in this way.)

Men will tend to face away from each other while talking; women will face each other while talking.

Men will talk about themselves; women will talk about each other.

Men will look in the mirror when shaving in the morning and never look again for the rest of the day; women are much more conscious of how they look and will check to make sure they are still put together acceptably.

And so it goes...  Go to any busy place and observe.

Cheers,
Kate

Y'all are mostly talking about straight men, I hope? Because a lot of these behaviors are not so consistent with many gay men I have known.

Well, they're sweeping generalisations of men. And the majority of men are not gay.
So I'd imagine these are all typical straight men examples.

Read some books honey, such as" Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", "Why Men Don't Listen & why Women Cannot read Maps." etc.

Understand the differences in how our brains work and then you will figure out why there are gender differences in behaviour, speech etc.

Buffy

I like the "people watching" suggestion.

Something else you might find is that you have already been defying some of these "standard behavior" things all along.

For instance...some of the stuff cited above about women I tended to do anyway...mostly subtle stuff that only a student of the subject might notice.

One thing that I picked up on right away though, and have incorporated a lot, is how often you'll see a woman standing on one leg while setting the other foot back on her toes....or crossing it in front of or behind the weight bearing leg....there are all sorts of these things which most people never note.

But it's true that there has to be a balance between noticing such things and affecting a false front - the latter is what we are trying to STOP doing, lol.

I watched Grand Torino this week.  Great 'man lessons'.  LOL


Jay

Of course it would be.  Clint Eastwood, a man's man.

Still love him.

Janet

Quote from: Arch on June 19, 2009, 07:25:13 PM
Y'all are mostly talking about straight men, I hope? Because a lot of these behaviors are not so consistent with many gay men I have known.

I was being tounge in cheek regarding both the male straight macho man and girly girl woman stereotypes, yes 

Though there's nothin' wrong with being a "regular stereotypical guy" sort of man that likes other men, either 

Typing a reply? Urinal stance.

o.O

*goes home and practices his urinal stance*

Not sure I'm an expert here, but I have noticed one thing. When a guy leans over a counter, say to look at something on the floor on the other side, he typically puts both hands on the counter like he doing a pushup with both legs straight (urinal stance) and firmly on the ground. When a gal leans over a counter, she typically put her hands right next to each other and center in front of her. She also tends to have both feet right next to each other or (in my case   ) one foot lifted up and back of the other.

Quote from: Teknoir on June 20, 2009, 08:34:48 AM
I was being tounge in cheek regarding both the male straight macho man and girly girl woman stereotypes, yes 

That's me! 

OMG! This is like ,you, know, just way too confusin for like you know, me. Ann Taylor Loft is having this like awesome sale and I got the CUTEST dress in all five colors.

*urinal stance*