i dont get here much,
(and i post even less)
altho i live everyday
of my life as an advocate
and ally for the T in the
LGBTQ community....

i am finding inroads for activism
as well as standing firm in
my support for the blessing
in my life whose name is Adrien...

this perpetration of trust
has impacted my 15 YO son
at a level i cannot gauge...
his broken heart and righteous
anger has turned into something
foreign to him, and he is struggling
to come to some kind of understanding

i echo the swells of relief that no one
was made to endure the torture and
degradation described as their last
moments on earth

i will forgive the doer of this deed for
the tears and aching sorrow harbored
in my heart for "roo's" mother....

but it will take more time and introspection
for me to forgive what was done to the tender
and open heart of my son.... to ALL the teens
whose lives are filled with genuine issues of
their tumultuous circumstances .....

best to all....
hizmom

Hopefully the story is a hoax (although that is a really sick joke if it is) but regardless it does give us something to think about. I know quite a number of trans people particularly MTFs in all various points on the continuum of transition. Very few take their personal safety seriously. They won't even go so far as to carry a can of pepperspray. Some of the other ones are the other extreme and are afraid to even leave their house dressed and are basically closet crossdressers. I consider my life valuable and I also consider the lives of my friends and loved ones valuable as well. The police cannot be there to protect you at all times.

Most of these MTFs I know believe in the ideals that "nobody should hurt me because I'm not hurting anybody else" and that "I shouldn't have to worry about all this stuff when I go out." Yes you do. It is called basic survival skills. There are reasons we wear seatbelts in cars and why businesses are required to have fire extinguishers. I cannot control others but I value my life and my freedom regardless of what other people say I should or should not do with my life. So if when I go out for some nightlife in my preferred gender role somebody decides to make it a problem by physically hurting me, I will make it their problem. When my friends tell me to "be careful" I take it literally so when somebody decides to come after me with a hammer (or whatever) I will be pulling a pistol out of my purse and doing the world a favor. For any hate criminal who would want to attack me in my home, there is also an invisible sign on my front door stating "If you are found here in the evening, you will be found here in the morning."

It would be great for us all to live in a world where nobody hates us but until then, I will not be standing around singing kumbaya.

One should not be fearful or paranoid. But preserving your own self should be seriously considered. I've been attacked on various occasions for various reasons. Luckily, when I was sexually assaulted in the high school locker room showers, the coach was paying attention and halted the attack. Learning of this, my stepfather (a Viet Nam Vet.) began teaching me Tae Kwon Do and Jujitsu. I've studied various other styles as well.

Don't be afraid or paranoid. But be aware of your surroundings and make yourself ready to deal with any problems that may occur 

I don't think I've ever felt relief to discover a news story was a hoax. My god, my throat locked up on this one.

Quote from: Autumn on June 21, 2009, 04:31:38 AM
I don't think I've ever felt relief to discover a news story was a hoax. My god, my throat locked up on this one.

Me too. Thank god.

What little relief I felt is drowned out by my disappointment and cynicism revolving around the simple fact that I didn't see it coming.
I've seen people lie about things not too dissimilar to this before, and yet, I didn't see it coming. I didn't expect trans folk to fake something this vile.

Disappointed and lost little of the tiny amount of faith I had in the world.

hoax or not its sad that things like that even are conceived of in our fellow human beings.  its just sad.

QuoteI didn't expect trans folk to fake something this vile.

Then you are very gullible. A lot worse things are fake and people accept them without verification. The rule of thumb is do not believe anything you hear and only half of what you see. Our senses are very poor transmitters of reality.

I'm sorry but my first reaction was anger and sadness. it didnt cross my mind to NOT believe it. It sounded harsh and scary but In my mind i Didnt think people were like that. I also thought sites would do back checking before posting it. So i mean now i don't know what to believe anymore. To be honiset i first say it when i saw a video on youtube from Grishno ...she was really upset about it. I know she has since posted another video but ya...*sigh* people today.

  Whether or not this was a hoax doesn't really matter.  Let us take solace in the fact that, yes, this time, no one was actually hurt.  However stuff like this DOES happen, more frequently then many would let you believe.  Sometimes stuff like this doesn't ever make the news, it's sounds unbelievable but it is true.  For example, in the subway there are at least 3-4 suicides (and attempts) by trains a month in Toronto.  However, only approx. 4-5 a year make it on the news.  Yes it's a different subject suicide vs. murder, but it proves the point that not everything that should, does in fact make the news.

  We do all need to feel shocked, and upset by anything like this.  We all need to be careful and take precautions to not end up in a real situation like this ourselves.  I am quite upset that this was a hoax, but none the less we need to learn from things like this, to protect ourselves.  I hope the person who made this up is horribly ashamed of themselves, but also I would like to thank them for bringing this to light.  I'm happy that we all could have this chance to discuss this issue, and that hopefully it will bring everyone closer together in creating a safer world for all of us.

  Lastly, I just wanted to say, I think it is far safer to believe something like this is true until it is disproved.  As opposed to dismissing it as a hoax right away, and running the risk of putting ourselves in an equally dangerous situation.

Quoterunning the risk of putting ourselves in an equally dangerous situation.

Many people are murdered every day. 3000 in NYC alone in the last few years. Every minute of your life is a time to be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with. No one is safe ever, anywhere. It matters not the type or age of the person killed a TS persons life is not worth any more than anyone's else's life. To give more emotion or attention to one over another is discrimination. But then we seem to be hypocrites on that subject.

Quote from: MaryEllen on June 20, 2009, 03:25:22 PM
It is with much chargrin and embarrassment that I must admit that this has been a gigantic hoax. The information that I provided above was thought to be true, provided to us by what we thought was a reliable source. Upon a lot of investigating on our own, we found that this was not the case. We have been "Had" royally so it seems. This is not over. We will continue to investigate untill we get to the bottom of this. I know you all think that we're a bunch of fools over at Laura's and maybe you're right. We sure did get fooled on this one.
Again, I apologize for all the turmoil that this hoax has caused.

MaryEllen

Not at all Mary Ellen running a site like yours or mine requires that we have an element of trust in our staffs. That trust can be betrayed. I respect you more for how you handled it after you found out it was a fake story.

Thank you, Mary Ellen, for coming on and being very up front with us.  No one thinks you are a bunch of fools at Laura's and your news is usually extremely reliable.  I, too, had not been able to find any other sources for this story.  It did not pass the smell test but I have held my comments to see what happens.  Personally, I am glad something so horrible is not true.  However, I wonder how many times hoaxes can get us to cry wolf before we start to look foolish.  That is my biggest worry.  Thankfully, in this case the community self-corrected and it has been pulled in every place I could find it earlier.

Kristi

Quote from: MaryEllen on June 20, 2009, 03:25:22 PM
I know you all think that we're a bunch of fools over at Laura's

MaryEllen

No, not at all. I think you handled the situation quite well 

Quote from: lisagurl on June 21, 2009, 07:18:50 PMNo one is safe ever, anywhere.

And if we live in fear, we don't live at all.

 

QuoteHowever stuff like this DOES happen, more frequently then many would let you believe.  Sometimes stuff like this doesn't ever make the news, it's sounds unbelievable but it is true.

Too true. And often these murders are characterized as suicides by police. A transwoman was murdered here several years ago by having her face smashed repeatedly against a dumpster. This was ruled a suicide. A lot of trans 'casualties' don't make the news.

Quote from: Miniar on June 22, 2009, 07:21:43 AM
And if we live in fear, we don't live at all.

I did not say live in fear. It is important to be alert and question your surroundings as well at the validity of the information you are given.

Fear is to those that are so drunk and drugged they know not reality.

---

Post Merge: June 22, 2009, 09:07:17 AM

---

QuoteA lot of trans 'casualties' don't make the news.

Every police report is in the local paper. It is just that a celebrity's kid smoking pot is a better soap opera.

Police reports are public record.

As are coroner reports, court records sealing such records, police call lists, protective orders, and death certificates.  The police can not seal such records, but the DA can.  However, there is still a court record of the records sealed, and who asked for that, and why.

And, it seemed a bit too horrific.  Most murders are crimes of passion, done on the spur of the moment, and very sloppy.  This kind of story with such a level of ritual in it seemed very Hollywood.  Particularly the KillBill aspect of her crawling out of being buried alive.  Given the extent of her injuries she would have had less than 3 minutes without air before she passed out.

We have received this statement/apology from the person we knew as Raychel (Roo) Is this real or yet another hoax?  I don't know. Personally, I'm taking it with a grain of salt. You all may judge for yourselves.

MaryEllen

QUOTE
I have copied this to some people that have an interest in my well-being.
----------------------------------

I know some of you will always hate me. I will have to live with that. I know some of you won't believe me. I will have to live with that, too. What I want you all to at least consider is, I didn't do anything to hurt any of you on purpose. I have no right to ask anything of any of you, but... I am. Please, at least read this letter through. I know you're all angry at me, and I can't help that.

I have had issues with a version of DID or MPD or whatever they're calling it currently in the past. I thought it was behind me. This is the first time that it has hurt people other than me, however. To say that I am appalled, and horrified -- this is expected, even if it's true, and most of you won't think any better of me. Counseling peppers my life from the time I left home, and I spent part of today trying to locate someone in this area that would be able to help me.

I am terrified that I have hurt anyone, especially those I care about. There was no malicious intent. This was not a stunt. My form of DID/MPD is known as highly-functional, meaning that I can be a part of "normal" society with no one the wiser. I don't want to lie to anyone. One thing I'm pretty sure I can count on from now on, that relieves me, is that if something about me seems suspicious in the future -- I know everyone will call me on it IMMEDIATELY.

Whether you believe me or not, Raychel (or Roo) was as real to me as to any of you. There are hundreds of emails exchanged between me and Roo. When I was confronted on Saturday morning, and throughout Saturday afternoon and evening, I was shocked that anyone could think such a thing. I knew she was real. I was proud of her accomplishments. I was upset that anyone would make a mockery of what she'd been through by making such accusations. I was in denial.

Around 11pm, maybe a little later (Central Time), all hell broke loose -- this was Saturday the 20th. I was looking through and trying to find out what would make anyone think such a thing. What I discovered was that anyone would think such a thing because there's no other conclusion to reach. It all filled my head. Everything Roo had done for nearly 2 years, as though I were standing behind her watching the entire thing happen. I spent the next half hour dry-heaving in the bathroom.

What have I done? I have all these memories, of things shared and people I've grown to love... and I'm a stranger to them, because the person they all knew was a façade. I immediately began trying to contact people, maybe if I explain, they'll understand? Maybe they won't blindly hate me?

Everything that was Roo, was real, in as much a way as possible. She -- I -- wanted to help people like me.

The problem is, in the past, when the stressful situations that have called for this kind of response from my mind have been alleviated, the person or people it has created... self-destructs. It's a theory that this is done so that I don't have a way to go back. A few times, this has been less than smooth, as it's forced me to confront the UNreality of someone I held dear. At one point, I went to a funeral of a close friend that I had grown up with, to find no funeral. No headstone, even. I went to the house she had lived in and the couple who had lived there for forty years informed me that they had no idea what I was talking about. Having to face it, the block crumbled in the same way that just happened with Roo.

In a way that I know would be and is creepy, Roo is still here, but I can't go back to being her. I care deeply about all of you. There are those that I felt connected to a lot more, but you will likely never want to speak to me again. Danielle. Sherlyn. MamaShar. MJ. Karen. Jay. Casey. These are not the only people I cared about. They are the ones I was closest to, however. I want you all to know... I never meant to hurt anyone. I don't care that my reputation as who I "really" am is trashed. You're all probably going to hate me forever. I ... would really like to still know and love and care for you all, but I also know that's not likely. What I care about is that you know that I did not set out to hurt you, that I did not set out to hurt anyone.

I denied what was going on when confronted because I really thought everyone had lost it. I mean, I -knew- Roo was real, I'd hugged her, even. I could have continued denying all of this, and probably recovered from it. But, to me... that would be downright evil. I really can't do that.

I will try to explain how the process generally "works" for me. Throughout my life, when there have been situations that I need an out of this kind, someone new comes into my life. Most people conceive of DID/MPD as being internalized. I actually see and interact with these people. I am convinced despite what later are looked at as obvious giveaways, that they are as real as I am. There have been times in which there were many of them at one time -- so when I had experienced this a few times and had entered counseling, it would lend credibility that other people knew they were there. It was recursive logic, but I didn't realize. I even had a "twin sister" for a very long time, that I had to protect from bad things happening to her. This meant putting up with those bad things myself, and it was okay that I wasn't coming forward against those doing them because I was protecting my sister.

Why did Roo have to "die" in such a horrible fashion? Why did Roo have to "die" at all? I don't know. I don't have an answer for that. As I said, when the situation has moved to the point that I no longer need such help, the alter self-destructs in such a way that I cannot go back.

Everything that Roo was, still is, if that helps anyone at all.

I know I have no right to hope for it, but... I would dearly love to begin again with friendship, with all of you, but particularly... those that I was closest to as Roo.

A lot of you have wondered what might be the "motive" for all of this. There was none. The only motive was Roo seeking somewhere to belong and to help. There was never anything malicious in all of this, I never wanted to hurt anyone, and for what it's worth... everything I said I truly believed.

There is much more to say, but I will end this here, for now.

edeyn blackeney

Quote from: MaryEllen on June 20, 2009, 08:23:32 AM

I can assure eveyone reading this thread that this is NOT a hoax.
There is an active police investigation ongoing...

...Laura's Playground is a well respected transgender support site and
to think that we would stoop so low as to invent such a trash story is
unthinkable. We're not the Jerry Springer show...

...We appreciate any prayers and support during this time of tribulation.
May Raychel rest in peace.
Thank you for taking time to read this.

MaryEllen
Site Administrator
Laura's Playground...