Hi!

Pardon if this has been asked before, I'm perusing back posts as well

I was wondering what people here have done in what order. I kinda already want to start going by my male name, etc...but i'm not on hormones, and have no plans for what to do with myself. Any thoughts on that?

I know some gender therapists want people to live as the gender they want to be before surgery, but i don't have a gender therapist, had problems finding one around here. so i'm gonna try to learn what i can from others.

I feel I need to do something but I'm not sure i want to be on hormones. However, top surgery is very attractive to me. Is that an option, to have top surgery without hormones? And if so, are there drawbacks...like odd looking pecs because of no testosterone?

i'm going to keep searching for this too, but if folks could through out an example of how much top surgery might cost (w/o insurance as i doubt mine would pay) that would help me have a lighter...or heavier...heart about what i can do and can't do...lol.

EDITED: okay, i'm finding some examples of top surgery costs now.

curious what i can do for the years it'll take to save up...the whole situation sometimes feels overwhelming.

Hi Michael. You can indeed have top surgery done before hormones.

As for me, the order* in which I did things in my transition are:

1} buy some binders and start wearing them.
   
2} come out to family

3} get a more traditionally male haircut

4} see a gender therapist

5} ride out illness, quit drinking, and wait until I am healthy enough to get      anything else done

6} get a new gender therapist

7} get on T

8} get top surgery

9} wait for T to work its magic 


* I already had been going by a male name (except with certain family members) and dressing in male clothing and underwear for a long time before identifying as trans, so these steps didn't need doing.

I have two final steps to do in my transition which are all the legalities such as name and gender change. As soon as I decide completely on a name, I will do these.

I do not plan any future surgeries or body modifications except possibly chest revision depending on how things look after I'm all done healing. So, after the legalities, I'm pretty much done.


edit: as far as timeline 1-4 happened about 3 years ago over a period of a few months. I had to wait like 3 years before I could get on T and have surgery (medical problems). Soon as I was medically ready, it took me from January of this year when I got the new therapist to May 21 when I had top surgery. So 5 months to go through the therapy, get letters, get T, have surgery. All in all, if I had not had to delay physical transition for medical reasons, I estimate the whole thing would've taken about a year from buying the binders to top surgery. So, take heart guys, it can be done in a timely fashion.

-bought binders
-came out & started going by male name
-started testosterone
-had top surgery
-changed name/gender
-had hysterectomy
-had bottom surg

bought binders and packer
bought male clothing
found gender therapist
found trans support group/second therapist
started T
had total hysto
name change (legal)
driver's license change with gender change
top surgery
SS # name and gender change
watching T work its magic!
+/- looking into simple bottom surgery

-- I started this process end of March 08 and am now 11 months on T and 6 months post top surgery.


Jay

Well, I'm very early on, but here's what I've done so far.
- bought binders & present more as male
- see trangender psychiatrist
- told GP and being sent to an endo

Future plans:
- see endo and start T
- come out to family & work at some point
- top surgery (deciding between 2-3 doctors now)
- name change (don't know exactly when)
- gender change (depending on laws and documents)
- hysterectomy
- bottom surgery

Wow. Looking at this I have a long way to go.

• Buy men's pants & underwear. (I'd been buying my shirts in the men's department for years.)
• Attend local trans event.
• Buy binders.
• Get therapist.
• Come out to parents.
• Start T.

This is where I'm at so far. Next up:

• Change name.
• Come out at work.
• Come out to rest of family.
• Look into options for financing surgery.
• Get a trainer to help me sculpt body into more masculine shape.
• Chest surgery.
• Maybe clitoral release or metoidioplasty.  Undecided.

Nothing has to be done in any sort of order (apart from legality side of things). Some people have a set plan, others just sort of do what feels right, when it feels right. Don't feel as though you "have" to do things to be seen as the "real deal" just because that's what everyone else is doing.

If you don't feel ready for T, then it's not the right time for you to be on T. If you want to use a different name, then that's something you should do.

I'm nowhere near finished yet. That's due to economic issues, and self imposed RLT. But here's what order I've done things in thus far -

• Figured out a workable binding method
• Disposed of female items (Not that there was much... I hate the stuff)
• Cut hair
• Started presenting as male 100% of time (Not that I changed much!  ).
• Changed name on resume to shortened andro version
• Decided to wait at least 3 months before starting anything medical
• Started attending local FTM meetings
• Researched HRT and surgery options, doctors and costs specific to my locality. Have doctors selected
• Out to all

Where I'm at : Self Imposed RLT.
Tomorrow I am enrolling in technical collage for a 6 month full time course. I am going as male. I am not an existing student, and I have only recently moved into the area. I don't know anyone there. In the absense of work, it's the next best thing.

What's left to do (In the order I think I'll attack it in)

• Buy a proper damn binder! (I want it ASAP, but waiting on funds)
• Decide on a more long term male name (pretty much decided, but I don't consider it final until I've run it by my family - and I'm waiting on them to come to terms with my transition as is before I hit them with any further info)
• Make appointment with gender therapist (I have one ready to go, I just need to book)
• Legal name change
• Attain work and move back to Sydney
• Start HRT
• Go pronoun and name nazi
• Top surgery
• Change gender markers
• Consideration and decisions on bottom surgery options

My transition is weird. I'm going for a full (as far as I can) social transition before I begin the medical side of things, and only really bringing in the therapist in the later stages of social transition. The reasons for this are logistical, schedule, and financial.

You can live the life before surgery and before T. Sure, you won't pass as well - but it sure beats doing nothing! I find it "eases the pain" somewhat, and I can tackle the rest of the big decisions in a better frame of mind.

Hmm... seems I have more of a plan than I thought 

binders & packers
came out
started livin as a dude
legal name change
found a therapist
started T
had top surgery
social security gender change


Next thing I'm gonna get is a hysto & thats it 4 me. I dont want any bottom surgery.

Came out to a couple friend and my partner.
Looked for information and found none.
Made that small step from girl clothes that looked masculine, to men's clothes entirely.
Made my own packer and started trying to bind my chest.
Looked for information again, still coming up blank.
Came out to family.
Looked for information again, this time contacting a therapist in hopes for at least "SOME" answers.
Jumped through a new hoop every week for a couple of months working on getting to the right person so I can get the physical transition started already!
Got in touch with a psychiatrist! (SUCCESS! RIGHT PERSON!)

Waited a month and a half...

And we're up to now.

What'll follow isn't set in stone but it looks like:

A YEAR of living full time before anything else can happen.
A year on testosterone.
Top surgery.
Hystorectomy and removal of ovaries.

onwards with life... I hope

This is GREAT guys!! thank you so much for your replies. It is in seeing all the different experiences that i feel more free to do what feels right. A person can look up the "suggested action" but it's not quite the same as seeing the experiences of many people, each so different and with thier own reasons or situations that model thier individual course.

huh that was kinda fancy-sounding. i don't usually talk like that.

but it makes me so happy to read all your different responses.

i have another question...of those steps, what was the hardest for you?

a lot of the things i have done have definitely changed how i'm percieved... it's so hard to describe but as i believe that i'm male, more other people respond to me that way...i don't think it's just clothes and binding, though that probably changed things...and then there's that double take or strange expression when i speak back or they see somehow that i'm a girl. but many of those things can be seen as "tomboy" or "butch lesbian" even though i see that's not what i am. all the next possibilities involve a leap that's a bit more bryond what people expect of me!! maybe it is a coming out thing. though i had hoped i had already done all that a long time ago, lol

I think that the hardest step for me is "getting T" cause I've been working on that for like.. six months.. and have that "year rle" thing ahead of me to combat...

Here's hoping I'll get it sooner than that.

I haven't done it yet but I already know what will be the hardest part for me- coming out. Coming out to family, friends and especially work.

I came out to my GP last week and was very surprised. She's known my husband and me for many years. She didn't act very shocked. She had some questions (mostly medical procedures) and we talked about transgender in general. She wanted my therapist's info so she could pass it on to other transgender patients

Anyway, my point is if someone who's known me for a long time but barely sees me wasn't too shocked, then what will others- who are around me alot- think? Who knows.

The hardest was hysterectomy.  I had to get 3 or 4 pelvic exams within a couple weeks' time.   

well other than having to wait and medical obstacles, the actual hardest, most labor intensive part for me and hence the last part is legal name change. i've used a few different names, but there are issues with each one. it's the permanency that's getting to me. what if i pick a name and end up not being able to live with it?

So far I have done:

Cut all my hair off/stopped wearing makeup and started stealing my brothers underwear because I was too embarrassed to buy my own 

Came out to family

Made a crappy binder

Bought a whole new male wardrobe

Changed my name/went full time (everywhere I've asked so far has changed the gender marker too)

Bought a proper binder

Made a packer

Made an STP packer

Got a referral to a gender clinic


What I'm planning to do:

Start hormones

Top Surgery

Hysterectomy

Bottom Surgery



As for which step was the hardest, I'm gonna have to say going full time by far. My body is so ridiculously womanly it's just so hard to pass well (or at all lately, very depressing) unless I'm wearing horrible huge baggy clothes that just make me look a mess. My voice is also a problem, it's hard to keep up a fake deep voice during long social interactions, it takes a lot of concentration! I'm desperate to start T, although I don't think things will be made much better until I can get top surgery, they're just THAT BIG, but the voice will be a massive help, I can live with the baggy layered clothes thing. (Pain in the ass now it's summer time though)

(this topic is really a big help for me....i'm running into things i hadn't even considered)

so far, i've:
come to susan's for info
(wait about 2 years)
decide this isn't going to go away or get better
went to a FTM support group
bought a binder
came out to mom
started gender therapy
thinking about names

possible future goals:
wear binder out of the house in broad daylight   
start T
present as male
change name
change name on school records
get a job in new name/gender
top surgery
metoidoplasty (a big maybe)

the hardest part so far was actually getting up the nerve to call the therapist and go there. telling my mom wasn't exactly easy either, but turned out pretty well. actually admitting to my first person that i was seriously considering transition was also really surreal and kind of exciting. now i'm just like "holy #%@, i'm really considering this?"

I'm pre-T, and here are my plans, although as I am still early along, nothing is concrete.

• Research transsexualism, hormone replacement therapy & various surgical procedures that are considered in line with sexual reassignment surgery.
• Express my gender identity struggles to my family, as well as my desire to physically and socially transition in due time.
• Schedule an appointment with a gender therapist to discuss my course of action and to gain contacts.
• Begin to go by my male name, but no change in attire is necessary.
• Contact a transitioned man and plan to meet in person to further discuss his experiences and how I might be prescribed testosterone and officially begin the process.

Those steps, I have already completed.  I have done only that much, and over a span of about four months.  Unfortunately, it took that much time to get in contact with my gender therapist, who is a fantastic woman and who has not only unearthed fascinating things from my past, but has technically opened up a path for me to take that should hopefully lead to a psychiatrist capable of diagnosis and prescriptions relating to HRT.

Here is a rough sketch of what I plan to do.

• Hopefully, after meeting the man in question, the psychiatrist is made aware of me and, although she typically only sees people over 21 years of age, sees me some time this year.  (This may take quite some time, depending on many factors, and it may not happen at all).
• After what I gather to be a necessary 3 months in therapy, I may start testosterone.
• Discuss human growth hormone with my doctor and with some luck, get a prescription for that alongside T.
• After a certain amount of time on T (under debate), seek a surgeon for top surgery and have the procedure done.
• Legally change name, and legal gender if possible.
• Find a surgeon for bottom surgery (the specific procedure will depend upon many factors).
• Have a hysterectomy and oophorectomy done for reasons of health.

I may have forgotten something, but I think that's about how it is for me...

Wow, there are some good ideas kicking around on here. Adrian, I like your idea of meeting someone who's been through the whole process to talk to in person.

And Drain, I love how you included "come to susan's for info, wait about 2 years, decide this isn't going to go away"
Hey, those are achievements!!

Drain, I remember the first day I started wearing my binder. I felt kinda self conscious the first couple days, wondering if any of my friends were staring at me...but i loved it. Then it became just a way of life. I'm curious about top surgery now since i honestly wouldn't look any different to those who see me with a shirt on, lol! It would be a big thing for me but not noticible to others.

I haven't even invested in a binder yet.  Of course, I've thought about it, and more and more I realize I need one ASAP.  It's extremely uncomfortable to be so aware of my chest.  I think men who have been through what we are going through can be great sources of information, great supporters and great friends.  Connection, even for an antisocial freak like me, is important and can be extremely helpful.

i'd wear mine out but honestly it doesn't look quite right. and i feel like if i go somewhere i'm a "regular" someone will begin to notice. oh well, it'll probably happen eventually anyway....i guess i'll be the token out transguy around here or something