So, I'm trying to understand this for a while, but can't.

I remember at one point walking out into public and seeing girls would make me crazy, and I'd be envious of them and the whole ordeal. But, it seems to have taken a 180 on me, and right now, sometimes I can't stand to see them.

Like, I don't know if it's the sick/angry at the opposite gender thing I've heard other people speak before, or not, but I don't always look at them like with envy anymore, and it's just kind of a ick type of thing.

But of course the thoughts of HRT still come and pass, and gender crap goes on, and I figured after a bit "why be envious? you already have this bone structure and body, so wouldn't it be more miserable for you to do that when you know it wouldn't happen?"

So, any others been in this spot before?

Jealousy?  Maybe.  At least that was what I felt.

Janet

Yea
with Janet.
The Green God Of Envy is very feminine. And very on the case. I'm not jealous but I would look better in that dress. I would'nt have worn those ear rings, God cannot guys see she's just a tramp, and I'm here.

Lord she's so blonde she probably put her tampon in upside down.

Cindy

Sometimes envious over what they're wearing. "Damn, I wish there was a dress and shoes like that in my size!" Disgust occasionally, yes. I find multicolored spiked hair and piercings in the facial area to quite disgusting. That applies to both genders.

You'll be fine.  This is not unusual.  I think that as you start, and stay, on HRT and find your body becoming more feminine you'll get over this.  Please bring this up with your therapist.

Personally I think, as others have mentioned, that you really just have a case of envy.  This too will pass when you pass so well that other women will be jealous of the way that you look! 

-Sandy

It's a psychological survival mechanism, perfectly natural and normal.
It will probably fade as your own transition progresses, but if you start feeling as it impairs your ability to live your life to the fullest you might want to stop and examine your Whys.

Aw, why are you getting down on facial tattoos and piercings? 

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/06/17/article-1193384-055E4FE3000005DC-456_306x481.jpg

Edited: This photo was too grim to leave visible.

This was the gentleman involved in the controversy about the girl who had 56 stars tattooed on her face.
Surely, you'd put your face in the hands of this man?

Quote from: CindyJames on July 03, 2009, 05:24:35 AMLord she's so blonde she probably put her tampon in upside down.

hey! I'm blonde and I resemble that remark! 

I look at beautiful women and think, "sigh." I see grossly obese women and women who don't seem to take very good care of themselves and think, "I pass better than they do." Trite, I know, but it seems to be innate as Miniar suggested.

Quote from: CindyJames on July 03, 2009, 05:24:35 AM
Lord she's so blonde she probably put her tampon in upside down.

Cindy

That isn't a handle?!?!?!

Yeah, it could just be a survival mechanism on my part. It's just really weird to me how even beautiful ladies and such will just make me go "eww no I don't want that" and such when before it was "crap why can't I look her?"

But then I may have also applied the same to other things too, and lost envy in much of anything/anyone else. It could be my mental state after taking so much in, and hurting so much for the past year or more, that I can't take much more in. Definitely something to bring up to my counselor next week.

I often get an odd feeling like that when I see a woman who has the potential to be very beautiful but just makes no effort to do so. I find myself thinking, " If I had her body/looks I wold work hard to make it as beautiful as possible". I catch my self feeling a little resentment for them because they seam to take for granted what they were born with. 

I thought it might fit and soothe the eyes after that piercing mess 

Quote from: Becca on July 03, 2009, 12:44:46 PM
I thought it might fit and soothe the eyes after that piercing mess 

Quote from: Becca on July 03, 2009, 12:44:46 PM
I thought it might fit and soothe the eyes after that piercing mess 

Also that unspoken communication happens in about 1 second! 

-Sandy(Captain!  I think were being scanned!)

FairyGirl, that emot-icon made me laugh just as much if not more then the cartoon did! 

Scanning..... scanning..... Damn why is she wearing that color cami?  It just does not go with that outfit.  Tramp.


Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on July 03, 2009, 06:49:32 PM


Scanning..... scanning..... Damn why is she wearing that color cami?  It just does not go with that outfit.  Tramp.


Janet

Exactly! ROFL!

Well more like... "sheez! if I had her face I'd jog my ass off to get a figure to match... what a waste." Or "damn! If I had her figure I'd invest in some cloths that didn't look like I slept in them or at least wash them!"

Quote from: Cami on July 03, 2009, 08:20:25 PMWell more like... "sheez! if I had her face I'd jog my ass off to get a figure to match... what a waste." Or "damn! If I had her figure I'd invest in some cloths that didn't look like I slept in them or at least wash them!"

or get some that actually fit good lord woman shove summa that $#!+ back in them jeans..

LOL! yes, muffin top is not attractive no matter where it pops out of, top or bottom.