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Started by ArleneTgirl, July 09, 2009, 11:55:23 AM

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ArleneTgirl

Wow, everyone is missing the point, or not paying attention to what I said.  Our relationship is not one of a married couple.  she has told me she can't have a romantic relationship with me, but can love me as a sister/best friend.  Of course, we have history.  Whether we legally seperate or divorce is a possiblility, but not a foregone conclusioon.  She has gone through meno-pause, so, I don't think there is a chance of pregnance.  We are grandmothers.  Of course,there is jealousy, it's natural.  she is also a bit jealous of my friendships, always has.  Also, I prioritize our time together, so we aren't talking every weekend, or something like that.  I encourage her to meet people (guys) and, she will at her own pace.  Our situation isn't ideal, but our connection is real, deep, and important.  I appreciate the advice, but please read my previous posts for the background before you cast judgement.
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Eva Marie

ArleneTGirl-

I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to cast judgement and i'm sorry if what I said came across that way. You guys are moving into some new territory and what I was trying to do is to make you think about some worst case scenarios. I do hope that it all works out for you.
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Nikki

I'm currently seein' someone that is transitioning (m2f) and it's with a heavy heart that I'm considering breakin' it off.

I'm discovering I need a guy so I don't think we're gonna make it.

Crazy world, huh? lol
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ArleneTgirl

#23
Quote from: riven_one on July 10, 2009, 06:48:30 PM
ArleneTGirl-

I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to cast judgement and i'm sorry if what I said came across that way. You guys are moving into some new territory and what I was trying to do is to make you think about some worst case scenarios. I do hope that it all works out for you.
Thanks Riven one.  I also kind of lashed out with my reply from frustration.  It's hard to explain my situation in a few paragraphs, and expect others to grasp it.  I don't  have (nor does she) any idea of how this will play out.  We (as I said) have a very strong and deep bond, but will it be enough to keep us together?  We confide all of our thoughts and feelings, but that also causes hurt feelings, sadness, and some resentment.  Still, we come together for comfort.  I don't doubt we'll always have some kind of relationship, but neither of us knows what it will be.  For now, we walk this path together.

Post Merge: July 11, 2009, 04:56:21 AM

Quote from: Nikki on July 11, 2009, 04:22:22 AM
I'm currently seein' someone that is transitioning (m2f) and it's with a heavy heart that I'm considering breakin' it off.

I'm discovering I need a guy so I don't think we're gonna make it.

Crazy world, huh? lol
Crazy, difficult, but certainly worth living in, despite the uncertainty we face, day to day.  Best wishes for you, and, a HUGG!

Post Merge: July 11, 2009, 07:03:46 AM

Quote from: Mister on July 10, 2009, 02:46:09 PM
I'm with Tekla on this one.  How many open relationships (which is essentially what you've got) actually last?  How many aren't infiltrated by jealousy or loneliness?  I've seen ONE work.  ONE that was based on don't-ask-don't-tell.  You think your wife's going to be fine watching you date men while she hangs out at home?  And what of your first sleepover?  That'll be an awkward breakfast.  If there's no more relationship, leave the relationship.
Of course I don't expect that.  Our relationship isn't as a married couple anymore as I've stated.  You make very valid points, however, ones that I consider constantly.  It is NOT a "don't ask, don't tell".  It is one of confiding, sharing, and caring deeply for each other/yes, love....but, not in a traditional husband/wife scenario.  The romance is gone, and she realised it (and verbalized it) before I did.
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