Hi.  I'm coming back to Susan's after quite a while. Last time I was there as Emily Ivy pre-op mtf TS. During these years I have done countless hours of meditation, rethinking my life back and forth and it seems I have understood some things afterall 

I live in a post-USSR country Latvia, and for TS people the transition is a nightmare usually. Most of them have emmigrated to nearby countries like Uk or Sweden for better peer support. But some (with brave souls and sometimes big wallets) have done it here. Convincing psychiatrists that you have GID is hard enough, but you need an endocrinologist who's willing to monitor your therapy as well. In short words, for years I was stuck on racing from one health care unit to another so I decided to sit down and meditate instead.

I have come to some simple conclusions. Nobody is 100% feminine or masculine. If we have past lives, everybody has lived as a male and a female. No matter if we have been humans, animals, insects, whatever. If I rememeber my past lives from both genders it sure makes living only as one quite odd. Not like impossible, but I have more information about other gender than average woman anyways. According to tests, I'm somewhat 92% feminine and 8% masculine, yet I understand that those 8% will be there for this lifetime.

So, getting to the point, is there any country in the world where you can get hormones just to alter your appearance, not to transition completely? If I can call it transition it would be from feminine looking male to a bit masculine looking female type of look. And has any of the board members has done so legally? I really don't want to self-medicate, but you see, in Latvia, even if you are TS or intersexed, it's hard to get yourself on therapy, plus it costs a lot of money.

Thanks for your time.

You can in New Zealand, but depends on the endo you talk to. Wellington Endo's are very open to exploring ways to achieve desired results. To see one you still need a referal, either from a doctor or counsellor.

I think it's not a problem to find hormones, you can over the internet if you have no choice.
But the point is hormones alter your appearance, behavior, mood and many other things, all of which will have an impact in your life, friends and family. Hormones will likely make you grow at least small breasts sooner or later.
The important issue, especially in a country like yours, is to make sure you're going to function properly. I mean... having a job, friends and a peaceful life.
Support and understanding are the most important when you decide to take hormones and develop an androgyne/feminine persona.
Also, supervision of a specialist might prove to those around you that you are a responsible person and it will give you some better respect and understanding than if you decide to go on your own, not to mention all the psychological and medical support you'll get.
Anyway, I'm in a similar situation to be honest, however in a potentially better environment, so will be glad to hear more comments from experienced hormone-taking androgynes/ts

It is actually a problem of supervisor. Endos here are frightened if I develop any kind of tumor, so they say that castration is a MUST. I'm fine with that, just that I hate that there is no specialists experienced with GID problems and going abroad just to see doc seems too expensive. (I'm 22 and I'm a teacher in school).

I know what hormones are going to do with me. I certainly want to get rid of T for like 90%. I have been told by TS folks that if I'm lucky, within 3 - 5 months of HRT I would develop gender neutral face at my age. I live up to that dream I can change and then go work abroad or to the other side of my country, that wouldn't be too hard for me. And A or B breasts are fine, bigger is a no-no. As I said I meditate a lot. I have my inner peace. And I have very few friends, but I'm not completely alone

And thanks for reply.

WHat country are you in, btw, DominiQ?

Hi, I'm in London at the moment, but my heart lives in south Poland, where I was born. Most of my life I've spent in a couple of places in South America, though.
Have you tried hormones before?
I think you'll develop a genderless face and expression within a couple of days to be honest.

Yak sie masz?

Troha movie po polsku. Probably terrible spelling though.

You shouldn't rely on tests to tell you who you are. How masculine or feminine you are is not the same thing as whether you are male, female, or in between.

Your best bet would be to share your feelings and wishes with a competent therapist in a country with a fairly good outlook on trans people. Also, it's almost unheard of to develop any more than a B cup so no worries there.

wow, and I just started learning Polish in march. I would surely love to talk to you, i mean chat, if you interested DominiQ

Yes, I have tried hormones, it felt quite right, but I surely want to get supervised. I'm fragile when it comes to health, I would say. And couple of days for genderless face, you must have been kidding  I pretty much have strong jawbones, thick eyebrows and lots of wrinkles in my forehead. I look like a young philosopher who practises boxing a lot. ( I do kung-fu in real life to be honest).

@Nerdychick

Well, you see, these tests are good measure. I started taking one BBC (iirc?) made fem-masc test in like 2005. Did it like each 3 months for years to see where i'm going. You see, when you come out as trans or andro everyone just keeps telling you to reconsider. And if was 18, they just told me to wait, to get career, job and then transiiton.

But I think everybpdy knows that the sooner, the better, for HRT that is. I don't have money for face surgeries and I'm tired to look like a bodybuilder, despite that I like doing kung-fu half a day. There are chicks in Wushu, they feel comfortable, why shouldn't I?

If not for the second phrase, I'd thought all your Polish you know you got it from Borat
Nice to hear that Nicky, and it's becoming actually quite useful these days to know a few words in Polish, e.g. "pierdolony brovar poproshe" will quite possibly grant you a free beer if the bartender has some sense of humor, [and is Polish obviously, just make surrrre you spell the rrrr like Borat does]

Borat?

Quote from: DominiQ on July 12, 2009, 05:22:47 PM
If not for the second phrase, I'd thought all your Polish you know you got it from Borat
Nice to hear that Nicky, and it's becoming actually quite useful these days to know a few words in Polish, e.g. "pierdolony brovar poproshe" will quite possibly grant you a free beer if the bartender has some sense of humor, [and is Polish obviously, just make surrrre you spell the rrrr like Borat does]

My grandparents on both sides were Polish immigrants to NZ. Though where they lived in Poland is no longer in Poland. Three came from what is now part of Belarus, and the other from what is now part of the Ukraine. 

When Borat says stuff in his 'language' he uses Polish words Nero.

FairyMonk,
Why don't you consider moving to another place in EU? Latvia is a member, isn't it?
I mean, HRT is controversial everywhere, and I'm seeing some heavy friction around the fact that you are a teacher in school and you want to enter this world of gender-swapping, especially in a country where even doctors don't want to deal with these issues.
Maybe a break for one year or at least some vacations in another country will help you  make your mind and be sure you want to follow this path, because it could potentially lead to transsexualism once you find you feel long-term happy and comfortable under a female hormone profile.

I doubt it. You see I'm a patriot. My relatives fought for freedom, I can't just leave especially when so many are leaving. of course, many TS people have left for Sweden or UK, but I know that if I really want to, I can transition here. I'm at point in my spiritual journey when sometiems life seems too easy, I want challange, maybe that is it. Latvia is Eu member since 2004, so yeah. But break for one year could suit me, I just have to accumulate some $ first, since we have big economicla crisis there and etc.

I doubt I'm TS anymore. I don't strive to be called in lady name anymore. I wish I could be called in gender neutral name or like name 21th. Something impersonal.

Hi...Nicky.
       we had a good few   Polish come over here . sounds like about the same time some of our people came as well from prussia  how neat . any way just a thought . i.m  a kiwi   still in n z ...
...noeleena...