This never occurred to me, I'm even more psyched to start T now I always get tears welling up when I get angry or scared/startled and it does my head in. Looks real macho to be crying my eyes out during an argument or if somebody makes me jump

Havent cryed in a long time. Dunno if it's T. thats how I am. I got no reason 2 cry either. 

Quote from: Monty on July 13, 2009, 04:49:23 PM
Though it might be a good thing for me, considering I never feel good after a cry, haha.

Me too. Crying solves nothing for me. I was also conditioned that crying is a weakness.

Although it may take a stronger stimulus, men can and do cry - despite some stereotypical myths to the contrary

Men typically don't cry as a cathartic, emotional purging however.  That may be were the difference lies.

I see men cry, I cry, its just that men don't to it as a way to get what they want.

Quote from: tekla on July 14, 2009, 09:16:58 AM
I see men cry, I cry, its just that men don't to it as a way to get what they want.

I bet you've made a few cry in your time too, eh? 

Only when I've dropped heavy objects on their foot or started dating their other daughter.

Quote from: Radar on July 14, 2009, 06:52:09 AM
I was also conditioned that crying is a weakness.

This is how I was brought up. And crying in public--I was conditioned to regard such an act with absolute horror and shame. So I never cried much, even in private and even when things were really really bad. And crying almost never made me feel better, I suppose because my shame got in the way of any benefits I might have enjoyed.

When I came out of the closet and first started seeing my therapist, I was in this zone. He persuaded me that it's better to let it out than to keep it all pent up inside. I was so stressed that I actually found it pretty easy to let everything go periodically.

Then things got really bad, and I was crying just about every day, sometimes several times a day. I generally didn't feel better afterward; I was just relieving the stresses of pre-transition.

Not my happiest time.

On T, I began to stabilize. Even though I went into a nasty funk for about six weeks after the initial euphoria wore off, I was not crying very much. At some point, I realized that I was not crying at all. Eventually, I started feeling better about myself. I figured that I would probably only cry when specific bad events occurred.

I might have been wrong about that.

I think it's weird. I've been in this relationship for twenty years. He breaks up with me--it's been two months now--and I haven't shed a single tear over him.

Maybe I was just ready to be done with him.

Then again, maybe the other shoe has yet to drop.

To tell the truth, I do consider crying a weakness for me. Others can cry, but if I cry I am being weak.

Quote from: Arch on July 14, 2009, 01:47:51 PM
I think it's weird. I've been in this relationship for twenty years. He breaks up with me--it's been two months now--and I haven't shed a single tear over him.

Maybe I was just ready to be done with him.

Then again, maybe the other shoe has yet to drop.

I already knew we would split up so I was preparing for that. I didn't realize how sad it would still make me. It doesn't help that I feel worse when he starts crying. I hope we can work through this and remain friends. We've gotten so used to each other it would feel weird and lonely without seeing him at least some.

My dad tried that one. give me something to cry about and all. but it never took. i still almost always (except in front of bullies) cried when I felt like it.
course there are situations where it's not appropriate, but in other situations i felt empowered by it.

I NEVER liked crying and I do think that it's because it makes me feel weak to not be able to control my emotions. It's a strange feeling when you're hit with a flood of emotion and are suddenly crying. I feel like I should be able to push it away until a more opportune time to release it. Not being able to have that ability seems wrong to me. I've worked hard on not letting my emotions get the best of me but there are still times where I feel like I've lost control.

Quote from: Radar on July 14, 2009, 02:45:46 PM
I already knew we would split up so I was preparing for that. I didn't realize how sad it would still make me. It doesn't help that I feel worse when he starts crying. I hope we can work through this and remain friends. We've gotten so used to each other it would feel weird and lonely without seeing him at least some.

Radar, I feel bad for both you and your partner. You've been together for a long time.

This is not easy for anyone. But I do hope that you can manage to stay close friends. I'm hoping for the same for me and my ex.

He is a pretty stoical individual; I've only seen him cry a few times in twenty years--always over me. Sigh.

If it helps, as the guy I always used to be, I always felt anger a lot more than sadness. I sometimes felt that maybe I should cry about something but it was hard, like I had to force myself to. That's one of the things I won't miss.

Quote from: Osiris on July 14, 2009, 03:19:12 PM
I NEVER liked crying and I do think that it's because it makes me feel weak to not be able to control my emotions. It's a strange feeling when you're hit with a flood of emotion and are suddenly crying. I feel like I should be able to push it away until a more opportune time to release it. Not being able to have that ability seems wrong to me. I've worked hard on not letting my emotions get the best of me but there are still times where I feel like I've lost control.

Pretty much.

It's not because I think crying makes you weak, but the inability to control it drives me up the wall. I don't want to cry in public but I can't hold it back.

Quote from: Kara on July 14, 2009, 05:58:15 PM
If it helps, as the guy I always used to be, I always felt anger a lot more than sadness. I sometimes felt that maybe I should cry about something but it was hard, like I had to force myself to. That's one of the things I won't miss.

Same here. I'll get really angry and full of rage, but not cry.

Well, I'm probably echoing what everyone else has said, but yes, of course you can cry on T. It's just different. Prior to T, I'd cry any time I got upset (mad, depressed, whatever). It was absolutely infuriating. I'd cry even when I wasn't upset... that's just how screwed up my emotions were.

Now, after about a year on T, I cry at sad movies. Heck, I cry at happy endings in movies! But when my wife of over two years announced she wanted a divorce, I didn't cry. I haven't cried over her once in the two months or so since. Perhaps it hasn't hit me... though I'm pretty sure it has. I think maybe it's that T makes emotions different, and for me at least, it makes me more rational about said emotions. Of course, that's debatable. For me, I'd far prefer to get angry about an event such as my divorce than to mope around for weeks crying, because anger is a positive, motivating emotion. Whereas had this occurred prior to T I would have been inconsolable and likely would've holed up in my room for months, crying, now I am planning for my newly single life. It's not that I don't care; rather, it's that I know I'm entitled to be happy. Crying won't help me realize that.

Maybe you're in the same situation in that respect, chamillion. And I don't know about you, but I think it's a good thing.

SD

I don't cry in general. And I'm not even on T. But when I do cry, I feel like it's a weakness and rarely makes me feel better. I can't even force myself to cry.

Re: T makes it impossible to cry

Okay, I don't know whether it's actually impossible because I haven't been upset enough about anything yet, but it is feeling like crying is no longer a choice or an option at my disposal. I felt like it would've been nice to cry earlier, and it didn't seem forthcoming. I don't know whether to be upset or pleased about this.

If the thought-process and emotional changes are a common effect (or side-effect) of T, I'm all the more interested. I don't cry when I'm upset or sad, but when my anxiety gets really bad, sometimes I cry for no reason at all. Literally. I'll be picking out a bell pepper to cook dinner with, and just start crying. Be pretty nice to have that sort of thing stop. 

Quote from: CodyJess on July 23, 2009, 07:21:04 PM
I'll be picking out a bell pepper to cook dinner with, and just start crying. Be pretty nice to have that sort of thing stop. 

Maybe you should stick with onions?