Im not sure what it is. Ive pretty much stopped trying to reject it and just accepted it as something thats never gonna "go away". Im getting to the point where I really wish I could move somewhere like Canada and live fulltime.

Give yourself over to the dark side. 

When I began to seriously consider full time, I stayed right where I was.  Work included.  I was part time living as a woman and it got to the point that I could just not go back to living part time as a male.  Since then I have no desire or need to go back.

You know what you must do to make you happy.

Janet

I have a few liberal or hippie type friends who'd be very cool with it.
Unfortunately many of my family and friends are right winged conservatives who wouldnt really understand and Im not sure I could take that much rejection all at once without it consuming me.

Quote from: Bethany W on July 11, 2009, 01:36:14 PM
Im not sure what it is. Ive pretty much stopped trying to reject it and just accepted it as something thats never gonna "go away". Im getting to the point where I really wish I could move somewhere like Canada and live fulltime.

I guess moving somewhere will make more problems. If I can not find a solution here, then I can not at other place either.

My public crossdressing has been a tough and difficult course, but I can enjoy it and its thrill.

Baribe~~

You can run, but you can't hide.

And

Wherever you go, there you are.

I know the feeling.

Gennee

For those of us who are crossdressers the urge to dress will never go away.  At least in my case it hasn't gone away after almost 60 years.  The urge to dress is not the same as the urge to transition or live full time, however.  It can be hard to distinguish these when you suppress your feminine side and simply dream about what might be.  Some of us can be happy and content just wearing a dress every now and then.  Others need to transition to remain who they are.  Only you can find out who you are, and to do that you need to do more than dream.

It is great is it not. If the urge went away then and only then I would become concerned.

In my case it's a yo-yo. Sometimes it's so strong, but after a while it fades away.

I don't know how to predict the urges. They behave like woman's mood 

My urge to dress is stronger each day...and I love that!

I hope my urge leaves me for good - that would be nice so I could get on with life.

Alice

Quote from: Janet Lynn on July 11, 2009, 01:43:17 PM
When I began to seriously consider full time, I stayed right where I was.  Work included.  I was part time living as a woman and it got to the point that I could just not go back to living part time as a male.  Since then I have no desire or need to go back.

You know what you must do to make you happy.

Ditto.

I was a closeted crossdresser.  Sometimes the urge to dress was pretty weak; sometimes it was almost unquenchable, no matter what I put on.
 
When I finally let the closet door swing open I just kept going.  I thought I might have to move but it hasn't been an issue.  You really don't know how people are going to react until you try them.  I've been pleasantly surprised by the reactions I've received, but I have also been incredibly lucky.

Don't move until you know you have to.

- Kate

I want to move for other reasons as well though. Regardless of whether I cross dressed everyday of the rest of my life or never did again, Id still love to move and have been planning it.

Your thread got me to thinking.... Yes its a strong urge, and a slippery slope - the more you do it the more you want it.

You could move somewhere more cosmopolitan where it is easier to indulge, because you can find acceptance by some trans friendly people, groups, venues etc.

Question is - Do you want this to be the strongest motivation in your life? Do you want it to take precedent over family, friends, career, finding a partner?

just go for it girl, if it feels good, dress

I have that urge every day, and fantasise about it all the time.  The actual experience of dressing remains for me a very special occasional pleasure.

My urge to dress has gotten stronger and stronger over time as well.  But some recent events got me doing some soul searching and very much into spirituality and that is where I have found my answers and comfortability.  Unfortunately I am very limited to what I can weare and when because I have 2 young children who just wouldn't understand and I don't want to put them through all the crap that society would throw at me. My wife is very supportive but once the kids are old enough to move out she said that she is fine with anything goes.   

Bethany, I understand what you're feeling.  In my case the family and job keep me from fully transitioning.  My wife would love it, but the rest of the family would disown me and I'm not sure I could take the rejection either.  So, what do you do?  I made my choice and try to live both sides of the fence.  Fortunately, most of my family lives in other states so I don't see them often.  So I chose to grow my hair longer (just have to deal with my mother over that) and live as feminine as I can.  It has been a good choice for me and gives me the peace and serenity that I have been looking for.

My hair is already down to the middle of my back. Ive always had long hair even in boy mode.

bethany i feel you on this one in my position my imeadiate family is all i have in this world parents are deceased siblings out of contact with until i no longer no where they are so if i move i am literally alone in the world a very daunting thought the problem is if i dont i can feel my soul dieing day after day. transition or die they say i believe this now the question is can i really live this life completely alone.........die or live live or die you gotta love stacked decks and when the cards you draw are aces and dueces anyone feel the cold wind of dead wood here its chilly tonight in this saloon...........