I mean..the struggles. My mom says Im wrong for not shutting up and wanting to be a girl. Should we really have any sympathy for ourselves? I say yes because we are doing what is right in our hearts but...I don't know.

I'm not sure what you're asking.  If you just 'shut up and be a girl', you're in for years of misery. This doesn't go away.

there's always "shut up and pretend to be a girl 'til you move out of mommy's house and have your own life.'

Well im just saying like people who don't understand are pain would say we bring it upon ourselves for not just accepting our birth gender.

Quote from: Calistine on July 21, 2009, 05:30:38 PM
My mom says Im wrong for not shutting up and wanting to be a girl. Should we really have any sympathy for ourselves?

Sympathy? I wouldn't say so. Some people have a 'worse' lot in life than others, and that's just how it is. Physical deformities aren't cause for sympathy, IMHO.  I do find something incredibly wrong about just accepting your misfortune and not doing something to change it. 'shut up' under her roof if you must, but once you're out from beneath it, do what you feel is right for yourself.

Quote from: Nero on July 21, 2009, 07:04:13 PM
If you just 'shut up and be a girl', you're in for years of misery. This doesn't go away.

True fact. It will eat away at your soul. Then, when you can't take anymore and start to transition people get involved that should have never been.

Quote from: Radar on July 21, 2009, 08:58:21 PM
True fact. It will eat away at your soul. Then, when you can't take anymore and start to transition people get involved that should have never been.

Very true.  I tried to "shut up and be a girl" for nearly 35 years.  Sometimes I really, really wish I'd had the balls to transition earlier. (Pun intended.  )

It would be easier to get Congress to stop spending then to shut GID up.

You can't make yourself want to be a girl. It just doesn't work that way.

Sympathy? It depends on how you look at things. I refuse to see who I am as entirely a curse or a problem - so I don't go around feeling sorry for myself. I am just me. We've all got problems we have to deal with, so you just try to make the best of the situation. Things could be worse - I figure I could have been "intellectually mild", had a non-working body, a terminal illness,  mental instability... any number of bugs some people get lumped with. Sure, it doesn't make GID any less sucktastic to deal with, but I find it helps me maintain some perspective.

Also, I've had oppertunites to see and participate in society from an angle that non-trans people never have, and never will. There's something to be said for that.

I did my "girl" time. I shut up and tried. I didn't even try to be the girl society wanted me to be (well, not for long), I tried to be one I could live with (however miserably). I managed to hit "transition time" free of kids, marrage, relationship, etc to deal with - but I've seen guys who haven't been so lucky.

You can't *want* to be a girl.  You either are or you aren't.  Whether that  means you're male or fall somewhere else on the gender spectrum is something for you to figure out.

I pretended for 47 years that I was a woman, tried to be fairly feminine though I thought I was a tomboy, and finally discovered that transition was possible, and went for it as soon as I found resources.

It won't go away; you can pretend, but will you be happy?


Jay