I would like to visit Japan and South America sometime, but it doesn't look likely. lol No biggy.  They are taking it in stride. I come from a military family, so they know the deal. It probably won't hit them fully until I am actually over there. While I feel bad for them, I don't mind going over there myself. I can finally do some good in the military for a change. The biggest problem, of course, is that I can't be the female I am! Having to listen to all they're sex stories (eck,  guys are so gross  ) and having to pee in front of all of them! Anyways, I guess I'm about as used to it as I can be so que sera sera!

QuoteYer a regular superhero

Awww, thanks hun!    Though I am just doing my job  .

Not all branches are as bad as the others. In more than 4 years in the Air Force, I never really saw anything really bad. Granted people started asking questions about me, but it wouldn't have gone anywhere but my shop. Most there had a live and let live yet still family approach to things.

It's been shown that there is more LGBT in the military per capita than the general population. So why are they not fighting? It's not just a bad idea to fight from the inside (the military has too much control over your life, the military is not a democracy), but mainly, most of them are there trying to make their life work in a non-trans, hetero form. They are trying to fix themselves. Being homophobic/transphobic can come with the territory. Look at all the politicians who vote and preach against it, then get nailed in gay encounters.



Do not go telling your commander that you are TG. That's a VERY bad idea.

First off he may not believe you, and word may spread. Neither of which you want. If he does believe you, it may not be any better. There are few secrets in the military among it's members. Who has aids, who slept with who... It gets around fast.

Second. If they do believe you, they can charge you with lying to get in. They rarely ever press this, but it is there. False pretenses probably would cover it. Then there is the discharge itself.  It WILL stay with you. Forget stealth. Also, they will drag their feet getting rid of you. You could be on special duty, and getting the worst jobs around for the next 6 months or more. 4-6 month discharges were not uncommon. You are manpower, and they need crap jobs done. You aren't there for the right reasons so why should they be in a hurry to help you get out. In contrast someone who is injured can be on the way home in a week.

If you want to get out under this, I have heard that the best way is to talk to a therapist. This way you have some footing when you get to the point of dealing with your commander. The therapist may be able to get you discharged under different circumstances and maybe give you something for dealing with the any anxiety. The military is all about paperwork. Make sure you have yours in order before going to your commander.

Best advice though, is if you can just get through it, do it.
Pocket as much cash as you can while you are there.


My thanks to those serving and have served.   

Thanks for all the information Leslie. Unfortunately, it's worse than that. You're right, telling your CO is a very bad idea. Telling anyone in the unit is a bad idea. They have a duty to report it. In fact, you don't have to say anything. The DADT policy states that if there is even a PERCEPTION of being homosexual, being real or not, then it is even to get you into trouble. Therefore, they don't need a reason such as lied to get your way in. The policy itself gives it to them. The same goes for affairs and fraterinization (sp?), so this isn't discrimination. When you get discharged, they will drag their feet, but more than just 6 months. They have the legal right to keep you the rest of your enlistment. I have seen several Marines popped for drugs with 2yrs left for one, and 1yr left for the other. Both cases, they were kept the rest of they're term, then given Discharge under Other than Honorable Conditions. Not to mention the entire time your in, all the riducule you'll get. It doesn't matter if anyone you tell believes you, they have an obligation to report it. Some very few may not, and for that you should be so lucky.

If you're thinking about seeing a therapist, don't tell anyone about it. Even if you say its just a regular one because of psych issues, it's just as bad as being gay. They make you see one of their MHU professionals and make a mark on your record, even if it all gets 'sorted out.' The worst they'll do is keep you under constant watch until you get 'better' so that you don't commit suicide. Mental discharges can take just as long because they have to make sure you're not going to do anything stupid as soon as you get out. The best discharge out of this is the 'failure to adapt to military lifestyle,' which isn't an Honorable Discharge.

Anyways, I'm sorry if this sounds so dire (I have a positive view on the military and love the Corps), but I am telling you the way it is (at least from my perspective based on my experience). The best idea is to just finish your term, get your Honorable Discharge, and move on. In boot, they told us the fastest way off the Island is to graduate; that still applies.

P.S. If anyone has read any of these policies or been through these situations and I posted anything inaccurate, please tell me. This is all information based on my experiences talking to other Marines who have gone through very similar experiences and some reading of aformentioned policies. This information has been collected over the past several years and could have changed in that time, but this info is accurate and true to the best of my knowledge and understanding. Thanks, and bless you all for reading! 

Oh just kill lots of evil people and protect lots of little kids.  It will be in the past soon enough and before you know it you'll be an old lady sitting in a rocker on the porch telling war stories. Afghanistan might be a political venture, like every other war, but at least some good is actually trying to come out of that one.

It isn't exactly geographically correct but you get the idea:
kurdistan the other iraq - thank you

Any way you have 6 months left so let's not obsess about it the whole time. Live it up sister!

Quote from: VanessaPink on July 28, 2009, 10:45:18 PMThe best idea is to just finish your term, get your Honorable Discharge, and move on. In boot, they told us the fastest way off the Island is to graduate; that still applies.

It really is the best way as there is no easy way out.
Besides, you signed the paper, finish out your duty. Get through it, you will have a good mark on your job history, and you will be glad you did it. Try and get out and you will just cause more grief in your life.

"For sure, an Army is more important to our nation than gay rights in the Army are.  I'm willing to settle for that.  An army runs on discipline, if you cant' keep your mouth shut, your private affairs private, then perhaps you should be on a talk show, and not the front lines."

Since when can't LGBT people honorably serve their countries? I think that DADT has only served to belittle those in the service, and dissuaded many others from joining. During the Iraqi war, we were even eliminating tranlators who spoke the language from serving just because they were gay.

Stupid rules need reform. And DADT is one that needs eliminating. No, the generals and phobics don't know what's best. They are only living their little phobic lives trying to push that agenda on the rest of us.

Sooo, I couldn't disagree with you more. Many other countries allow gays, lesbians and trans people serve without fanfare and with honor. AMerica just has too many phobs at the helm!!!