Feminine presentation for trans women is a life or death issue
August 4, 2009 – 10:26 am

http://globalcomment.com/2009/feminine-presentation-for-trans-women-is-a-life-or-death-issue/

My cisgender girlfriends tease me sometimes about the amount of time I spend perfecting my feminine presentation. They will also needle me about the lengths I will go to ensure it is as flawless as I can humanly make it.

But if they walked in my pumps for a minute, they would understand why I and other trans women place so much importance on looking as flawlessly feminine as possible.

QuoteAs a trans woman I have the same chance of getting sexually or physically assaulted as ciswomen do. The difference is that if the attacker perceives or discovers that I'm trans, the sexual or physical assault could quickly get excessively violent and put me six feet under my beloved Texas soil sooner than I want that to happen.

That could happen regardless if the person is presenting as a total femme or not; all the makeup, manicures, and eyebrow waxes in the world won't save you if someone outs you and decides to do physical harm to you.  Plus, she's in Texas...I would never dream of living in a southern state, ever.  Not my idea of the best place to transition.

QuoteIt creates the imperative to make sure that you're at your gender best at all times...

Just what does "your gender best" mean?  That we have to conform to some kind of social stereotype of femininity at all times?  Sorry, but while some of us may identify as "femme," that doesn't mean we own a set of brushes or a series of makeup books.  I certainly don't, nor do I wish to.  Sure, for that special occasion I like to get glammed up, but that doesn't mean I do it every day.  Does that mean I'll face the "consequences" of not being at my "gender best?" 

I personally do not get all dolled up for a regular day.  Foundation, yes,  Mascara, definitely.  But what woman gets dressed to the nine to do housework?

Just being a woman is all I need for just another day.  But I do understand the need for some transwomen.  And let be up to them, just as it is for any woman.

Violence against women is just wrong, regardless who they were at bith.

Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 05, 2009, 12:38:19 PM
I personally do not get all dolled up for a regular day.  Foundation, yes,  Mascara, definitely.

I don't even bother with those, I just go natural most of the time.  Haven't had any problems yet.

I did a blog about this recently.  I do think it slightly skews transgender fashion to be more to the extremes than it otherwise might end up being.  I definitely wear a lot more skirts and dresses than most of my female friends. 

I think it makes fashion as much about self-expression as protection.

Especially being pre-op.  I think perhaps if I were post-op I would be more apt to try more androdogenous looks.

But it's okay.    I have a good sense of it.

QuoteWhen you grow up in the wrong body, you tend to appreciate that suppressed femininity more when you finally get the chance to openly express it and live your life.

I believe I understand what she is trying to convey in her feelings here. For I too feel, I missed out on something while growing up and on into my middle aged life. Can I get that back? No. Can I work with it and have fun with it? Yes. Do I apply it in my everyday life? Yes. Am I over the top with it? No.

I am one of those who feel that I must look as good as possible at all times. Call it a "security blanket issue" or just being very femme. And, yes I even do my yard work in full makeup and nice attire (jeans and tops; no more sweats for me, girls!). I make no appologies for it. I like it and I will continue on in this type of presentation.

I am fully aware that some of us girls don't see or understand the need for looking the very best we can. And, that is totally acceptable. However, for me it helps to exude confidence and well being within myself. I also believe that this type of presentation has made my transition easier for freinds, neighbors and my business customers to accept me and in some ways understand me in this process. It certainly has not hurt!



Dawn

She sounds like me in my CD phase, spending hours trying to look my best. But those days are long gone now. I typically get ready in an hour or so, including showering. Of course it takes longer if I'm setting my hair.

What I don't get is being in transition for 15 years.  I don't know anyone who has been in transition that long.  Whew!

Julie