Legally:  Deciding not to change gender markers.  Feels terrible because I want it so bad.  And I often feel judged by other transsexuals about it.  But I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances:  My husband is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease, so I can't bring myself to take any legal risks regarding our marriage, finances, insurance benefits, etc.  We're hanging on by a thread as it is. 

When he passes away, I will change my gender markers.

Choosing a surgeon:  Got a lemon surgeon and need to have surgery completely over again.  Guess I didn't make the best choice there.      But again, I did my best under the travel and financial obstacles I was up against. 

I feel so sorry for you, Benjamin,  But I understand better than most.  My Mom was going thru the same thing.  By the grace of the gods they took her before it became really bad.

I hope that you have a support system in place for you.  A group or at least someone to give you a break now and then.  You are a good man to stand by the one you love while this demon takes him you and your family.

Big hugs for a Big guy.
Janet

Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 10, 2009, 12:05:22 PM
I feel so sorry for you, Benjamin,  But I understand better than most.  My Mom was going thru the same thing.  By the grace of the gods they took her before it became really bad.

I hope that you have a support system in place for you.  A group or at least someone to give you a break now and then.  You are a good man to stand by the one you love while this demon takes him you and your family.

Big hugs for a Big guy.
Janet

Thank you, Janet.  Needed those hugs (and the sincere understanding.)    My husband is very early on in the process, so I think we have a long road ahead of us.

I'm very sorry you lost your mom this way.   

sorry to hear that too, Benjamin. lost my grandmother awhile back. also in the early stages (death was due to something else). it sucks. 
sucks about how your surgery turned out too. <big nero hug> hang in there.

Trying not to hijack this thread's topic, so real quick:

Thanks, Nero.  (Hugs right back at ya!)

Long story short:  After some negotiating, my surgery is being completely redone on Sept. 11 -- at no cost to me.  I'm relieved and hoping for the best!

I will miss my husband terribly, and yet, I hope something else takes him long  before things get too bad.  At this point, his quality of life is OK, over all.  He needs extra help with cognitve tasks, and he gets lost while driving too far from home, and sometimes he doesn't know what day it is, but he's still happy and well enough to do (with assistance) the things he loves. 

Ben