Sometimes its the little things that seem so huge... perspective I guess...

Last weekend family was over from all over the place, other states, other countries... new spouses, new babies. My mom being the shutter bug that she is wanted snaps of everyone. I found myself reacting in a negative (no pun intended) way... I just didnt want to be in any of the pictures. This is actually unusual for me, I have tons of photo albums from my past.

It occured to me later why I felt upset and angry... I dont want any more reminders of my drab presentation. I hate the way I am and feel right now, Im just not comfortable being recorded for all time in this way. I didnt express it out loud, so Im sure they think I was just in a general foul mood... I dont think even my parents made the connection.

Wondering if anyone else felt like this (or similar) in that period of time before going 24/7? Or is it just me?

I used to act like a movie star with the Paparazzi.  But now I am getting to like having it taken.

Janet

I totally avoid the camera when I'm in drab

Get me goin' when I'm all made up and I may put on a fashion show 

Oh, I totally relate. When I am the real me, and not in drab, yep, I love the camera too! I was just unprepared for the emotions that came with avoiding the camera in drab... 

Stacy,

I totally understand where you are coming from with respect to the pics. What woman would like to have her picture taken when it's not only non flattering, but in the wrong gender? Not one (who's not transitioning FTM).

Sounds like to me that you've really started to complete your mental transition. Once this train is rolling, anything that strays from your true, natural gender will be fought.

After our party here at the house, I mentioned to Julie that the person in the group photo  with her head held up highest with the warmest smile was none other than  our friend Stacy. That should tell you about your true inner gender.

Hang in there, Stacy!

I totally hated having my photo taken in drab.  There are a couple of those photos of me taken then and I just cringe when they come up.  I am no beauty by any stretch but in those photos, I look like a depressed, haggard old man.   Transition changed all that.  I'm still in deep with problems but the searing pain of living in drab is gone.

Maggie

I never went out of my way to evade/avoid being in a picture, but I hated every one of them.

Now I can look back and I no longer recognize the person in the photo as ever having been me.

Interesting.

-Sandy

I remember as early as the age of 6 fighting my parents when they wanted me to be in a picture.  Getting me to smile was even tougher.

Now, when the camera comes out I'm just beaming.

Julie

I have lots of pics pre-transition -- I have no idea who she is.  Somebody trying to hard but not succeeding!

When you're feeling like your pics are bad, go to http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com for a laugh.


Jay