So, been lurking for a while but first time poster.

I guess what I'm basically curious about is how many of you use public men's restrooms and how long after you started transitioning you began.
I've been binding, etc. for 3 years or so now and I guess I pass pretty well, but I haven't started T and there's been no surgeries (Something I plan for the future) so I don't think I'm anywhere near being completely passable.

Today I was at my college orientation and asked numerous people where the bathrooms were. Every single one of them informed me of the location of the men's room. Not wanting to blow my "cover", I didn't bother to correct them and ask the location of the women's room. In what could be called a blind leap of faith of sorts, I walked into the men's room and into a stall, did what I needed to do and walked out. For some reason, I felt like I'd accomplished something, but I'm thinking that it might not be a good idea for someone who isn't completely passable to be using a men's restroom?

So, curious of what all your experiences with such things are, basically.
Sorry if any of my wording is bad or the topic in general kind of sucks, I'm not too good at asking questions like this, especially when it's my first post somewhere.
I tried searching but I couldn't find anything. 

I started with the men's room approx 2 -3 mos after starting T when I started passing.  If people are directing you to the men's room, then I'd wager you pass pretty well.  I did not pass pre-T, so didn't even try.


Jay

i started using the mens room the day i cut my hair.

that was pre T and surgery.

when i did it though, it didnt really feel like an accomplishment, more like relief that nothing bad happened.  lol

Ah, So do you use them regularly now, both of you?
(I'm guessing that answer should be fairly obvious though.  )
Have either of you ever been looked at funny before in one?
If so, how did you deal with it?

And by I guess the relief that nothing bad happened might sort of be part of that accomplished feeling I mentioned.

Seeing that I'm 13 mos on T and sport a darn good beard, I think I'd get arrested if I tried to use the ladies' room!  If anyone ever looked twice at me early on in the mens room I didn't notice, I didn't look at anyone.  But pre-T I got some odd looks down south in the ladies' room.  The first men's rooms I used were in airports.  The next was at a busy truck stop.  Those times I used an STP but not the urinal.

Jay

ive been using the mens room for about a year and 4 months.  been on T for nearly 7.

me and another FTM friend were in a bathroom at the movie theater and we were alone, and not using very good "mens room etiquette"  (i was leaning against the wall talking to my friend while he was drying his hands) and a guy walked in then looked at us weird and left.  when we left he was standing by the door looking at the sign.

nothing bad happened, i think we just scared him a little.  lol

I get called "sir" or "young man" a lot even when I'm not binding. In the past while going into public bathrooms I usually stand up straight so that my chest is more apparent in hopes that women don't give me weird looks when I walk in. But now since I've started wearing a binder I'm thinking sticking to the family bathroom when in public is my best bet, at least until a few months post T.

Keep in mind that men try to avoid contact as much as possible with strangers in the mens' room. I've heard the opposite is quite true in the womens' room.

As long as you aren't having a nice socialite meeting in there, you shouldn't raise any eyebrows if you're appropriately groomed and dressed and androgynous or butch.

That said, just be careful.

Didn't start using the mens' rooms until about 4 months on T.  Was getting hostile looks in the womens' rooms for about... 1.5-2 years prior to that >.<

If people are directing you to mens' rooms, it might be time to take the hint.  Or don't, like I did.  Just don't be surprised when ladies start chewing you out for being in their bathroom. 

You do bring up a good point about it possibly being dangerous if you're unpassable and go to the mens' room.  Do you present as male at your college?  You said 'college orientation,' so I presume you're a new student.  Do you introduce yourself to new people with a male name?  If so, it seems the mens' room would be the most logical option.  If not, consider this: what will it be like to transition in the middle of your college education, asking friends, co-workers, fellow students, and professors who knew you years prior to switch to a male name and male pronouns?  To have acquaintances who know you by your female name shout it to you in greeting, while you're working with classmates who know you only by your male name?  That's my life right now...  it's, uh, interesting.  I'm still concerned about running into male acquaintances who don't know about me in the mens' room.  Awkwardness shall ensue, I'm sure.  I go to a small college and my department is smaller yet--everybody knows everybody, so this might not be an issue at a bigger school.

Anyways, the beginning of college is a great time to start with a clean slate, if you're comfortable with it.  Only possible snag is if the university is forcing you to live in a female-only dorm for your first year.  Or if your female name is on the class roster and the professor insists on taking roll (but that's easily fixed with an e-mail before class starts).

I stopped using men's rooms the day I started full-time.

The ethics of men's and women's bathrooms are different.  If you're wearing male clothes and don't look too girly, use the men's room.  Most men won't notice one way or the other.  Do not get all chatty in the men's room, though.  And don't worry about not using the urinal - I stopped using them more than 10 years before transitoning.

Oh, and BTW, welcome to Susan's.

(Sorry to be so chatty on the FTM site.  It's the hormones. )

- Kate

I mostly avoid the restrooms at school, but today I couldn't stand it, so I waited for an uncrowded time, ran to the little boy's room . . . and discovered that the stalls in there do not have doors.  Yeah, I just held it for the rest of the day.  So part of when you decide to start using public restrooms is based on the restrooms themselves.

I wear only male clothes and I have short hair but i dont know if I pass. Im only 5'5 and my face is quite feminine. I guess I can give it a try when im ready. Im tired of being stuck between male and female

I get weird looks in either bathroom. I use the mens even though I don't really pass. The womens annoys me...people talk in there, and hang around and get in the way. I just wanna get in, do my business, and get out.

My companies HR department has created trans bathroom standards because of me 

When I am "more male than female" I am allowed to start using the men's room at work. If I was allowed I would now. Now I'm not sure exactly what they mean in their statement. I'm taking it to mean when I start T and my hormone levels are consistent with the average male I will begin using the men's room. I'm not waiting for surgery because I'll have facial hair before I'll be able to afford top surgery (save one of my grandparents being very generous).

Hahaha what I wonder is when I was in camp and put with the girls they were always like I have to go to the bathroom! Come with me! They never go alone I swear. I never understood it..do transwomen do that too.

I started using the men's bathroom pretty much right when I started binding, which was about a year before T.  I was passing most of the time and didn't get any weird looks, or if I did, I never noticed.  If people are directing you to the men's bathroom, I'd say you can probably use it.  The men's bathroom seems safer than the women's to me because men are less likely to notice/care

Quote from: Chamillion on September 02, 2009, 10:44:58 PM
The men's bathroom seems safer than the women's to me because men are less likely to notice/care

i agree.  a man isnt very likely to notice or care if a male type person follows them into the bathroom.  but they might care a whole lot if they see a male type person follow their girlfriend into the bathroom.

BTW,  Guys don't make Eye contact or talk much in the Men's room, unless it's at a football game or with friends.

If you ever use a urinal (I know there are things that let you do that).  look straight ahead ONLY. or ok Down, and one or two hands ah holding the joy.... is correct.

OK I'm done with male restroom ed 101.  Like forever!


Beni

Yup. Guys in general will not take kindly if try to chat with them in the men's room. Especially if they suspect you of eying up their junk. You could get a very severe reaction. Worse than a woman who catches a guy checkin' her top goodies.

Like Beni mentioned, Keep your focus indifferently forward or on your own biz.

Male restroom 101-A 

Quote from: Josh on August 19, 2009, 08:04:43 PM

me and another FTM friend were in a bathroom at the movie theater and we were alone, and not using very good "mens room etiquette"  (i was leaning against the wall talking to my friend while he was drying his hands) and a guy walked in then looked at us weird and left.  when we left he was standing by the door looking at the sign.

He probably thought you two were the notorious bathroom bandits, Ben Dover and Seymour Butts.