Done with transgender

http://tgnotwhatyouthink.blogspot.com/2009/09/done-with-transgender.html
9/3/09

When my dysphoria went from chronic to acute, I called myself transgender. It was a word that seemed to cover a lot of conditions, and I didn't yet know what I was really dealing with. Once I did know, however, I admitted the truth to myself: I was transsexual. It was my biological sex, the male genitalia and the result of having male genitalia, that needed to be changed. My gender was already perfectly fine, if sadly unmatched to my body.

I changed gender expression during my social transition insofar as I allowed my tendencies toward typically (there's that word again) female behaviour to be expressed. But those tendencies were there all along. People used to think I was gay because I had a soft appearance and a gentle manner. Only Sweetie knew that I was also interested in fashion and grooming among other typically female interests. Not all women behave and think in this way, but many do, and I did and do. So it was really a change in the level of gender expression. In the end, I could no more change my actual gender—my sense of my own sex—than I could change my basic personality. I didn't acquire a sense of being female. I simply stopped repressing it.

"But at heart, I am a transsexual in transition. My brain and personality always had female in them, now given free expression. Day to day living and hormone balance are now those of a woman-born-female-bodied. Body correction soon will follow. The end result is a female, biologically and legally. Not a claim. Not a wish. A fact."

I think she pretty much nailed it.