Today I went to the shop that services my motorcycle. I hadn't been riding much so I hadn't been there since becoming Kate. It's run by a husband-wife team and has several other workers.
As luck would have it, both husband and wife were at the counter when I walked in. It took them a minute to recognize me, but they did. One of his first questions was: Is this permanent? (Absolutely.) She stuck out her hand to shake and said: Congratulations! One of them asked why I hadn't told them. (This is a hard thing to work out.)
He went back to work, but I spent about a half hour with her – talking, trying on women's riding gear, bonding as women. Several times she thanked me for trusting them. I know they want my business, but I really believe she was sincere and meant it on a personal level. She gave me a hug as I was leaving.
I didn't buy anything this trip but certainly will take my bike there when it needs service. (It doesn't hurt that he's a master mechanic.)
This is not the first time someone has asked if this is permanent. It has confused me in the past, but today it seemed like he was just trying to put it in context. Was I going to show up sometimes as male and sometimes as female? Or was I Kate from now on? Actually, I'm glad he asked. Some people don't and then take a long time to sort out what is going on. Perhaps as we come out to people we need to specifically tell them that this change is, indeed, permanent.
- Kate
