I've been on hrt/spiro for over 7yrs. I've tried to transition on the job w/o success for 5yrs. I've been told by many ts on hrt for a few days/weeks to just suck it up. Been there done that for 20 yrs, results; severe alcohol/drug addiction & abuse, suicide attemts, complete lack of self worth & a whole list of negative adjectives. In my state, Nevada ts/tg have NO rights. Am I just missing something? ty, Isabella

Have you changed your name legally yet?
They probably have to acknowledge your name if you change it legally.
They can probably still deny your target gender until that is legally changed.
I'm sorry that I can't be more help.

I wonder if a new job might be in order? I know it's certainly not the best time to be job hunting, but 7 years of hrt and still being considered a boy must be hell on earth. If your name is changed then why not send out some resumes and applications, perhaps even to employers in more friendly states? As a former resident of Phoenix I know your'e probably rather attached to your climate, but Washington, Oregon and California are all really nice and a heck of a lot more trans-friendly than Nevada and Arizona. In Washington and NW-Oregon there's technology, shipping, lumber (?) manufacturing and everything in between, and everybody is familiar with California.

I can't believe anyone would tell you to just suck it up, I'm sorry that happened and it's bad advice. You deserve better but it looks to me like it's not working out there and it's up to you to go out and make things better for yourself.

Quote from: Renate on September 12, 2009, 10:09:05 PM
Have you changed your name legally yet?
They probably have to acknowledge your name if you change it legally.
They can probably still deny your target gender until that is legally changed.
I'm sorry that I can't be more help.

yes ty, i have lagally changed my name all by myself without even a lawer! I just up & did it like 5yrs ago, my employer was just overjoyed, can't belive I never thought of it sooner!

I cannot imagine how hard it must be to go to work and have to pretend to be male to secure an income. It's already burdening me. I work for a non-profit organization, and I believe that anything that might make people skeptical of donating is not good for the organization, so they probably won't let me. Just started working here, only job I've had success in getting. I'm somewhat afraid of even bothering.

Quote from: noir on September 13, 2009, 09:37:47 PM
I cannot imagine how hard it must be to go to work and have to pretend to be male to secure an income. It's already burdening me. I work for a non-profit organization, and I believe that anything that might make people skeptical of donating is not good for the organization, so they probably won't let me. Just started working here, only job I've had success in getting. I'm somewhat afraid of even bothering.

dear sweet girl i wish u the best & pray that you can find the strength & the means to a happy life! much luv, Isabella

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Post Merge: September 13, 2009, 10:09:39 PM

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Quote from: Becca on September 12, 2009, 11:21:12 PM
I wonder if a new job might be in order? I know it's certainly not the best time to be job hunting, but 7 years of hrt and still being considered a boy must be hell on earth. If your name is changed then why not send out some resumes and applications, perhaps even to employers in more friendly states? As a former resident of Phoenix I know your'e probably rather attached to your climate, but Washington, Oregon and California are all really nice and a heck of a lot more trans-friendly than Nevada and Arizona. In Washington and NW-Oregon there's technology, shipping, lumber (?) manufacturing and everything in between, and everybody is familiar with California.

I can't believe anyone would tell you to just suck it up, I'm sorry that happened and it's bad advice. You deserve better but it looks to me like it's not working out there and it's up to you to go out and make things better for yourself.

Becca, ur a dear soul to have come across. i believe that u have the right attitude & u go girl! luvu, Isabella

Quote from: Bellaon7 on September 13, 2009, 10:04:37 PM
Becca, ur a dear soul to have come across. i believe that u have the right attitude

Yeah I'm pretty awesome, thank you, but what are you going to do about your job issue?

Quote from: Becca on September 14, 2009, 12:05:44 AM
Yeah I'm pretty awesome, thank you, but what are you going to do about your job issue?

I've lost my last two jobs after trying to transition @ them, am unemployed, have no money or resources to move. If I did I would run like mad from this place. Until then I'll just have dig my up & out from here.

For your next job could you just apply as the woman you are? There seems to be a lot of benefit in transitioning before. Maybe connect with a local transgroup and see if they can help you out - do volunteer work, get a crappy burger job or work at a supermarket - anything is better than sitting unemployed.

Quote from: Nicky on September 14, 2009, 04:12:09 PM
For your next job could you just apply as the woman you are? There seems to be a lot of benefit in transitioning before. Maybe connect with a local transgroup and see if they can help you out - do volunteer work, get a crappy burger job or work at a supermarket - anything is better than sitting unemployed.

ty for the thoughtful suggestions Nicky! one of the larger issues regarding my lack of employment is that i can't get any gender markers changed on any ID's or legal documents w/o proof of srs. so  i leave the gender part on all apps unmarked. & in addition i've chaged my legal name & all apps ask if you've ever worked under another name(dead givaway) which if for no other reason, have provide in order to verify my work hist.ts have no rights in my st, & unemployment in my city is almost 15%.

I think, if you would perhaps consider a move to another state, you might find yourself a friendly work environment, and have a heck of a lot of an easier time.  You should really consider it.

Quote from: V on September 14, 2009, 07:06:36 PM
I think, if you would perhaps consider a move to another state, you might find yourself a friendly work environment, and have a heck of a lot of an easier time.  You should really consider it.

Mr.V, ur correct & if i could i would, or rathther when i can i will!

Quote from: Bellaon7 on September 12, 2009, 09:16:15 PM
I've been on hrt/spiro for over 7yrs. I've tried to transition on the job w/o success for 5yrs. I've been told by many ts on hrt for a few days/weeks to just suck it up. Been there done that for 20 yrs, results; severe alcohol/drug addiction & abuse, suicide attemts, complete lack of self worth & a whole list of negative adjectives. In my state, Nevada ts/tg have NO rights. Am I just missing something? ty, Isabella

And yet people think we have a choice or do it casually.

I can't understand why people think they have to understand how something feels in order to accept it's legitimate. MUST we be freaks and perverts just because we are that which you cannot relate to?

Meh. Dunno.

As for your situation, i honestly have no answers because i have no full time job. but what I'm trying to do is find non-traditional things for income that don't have any basis in how you look (for instance, delivering papers)

but that has to be a big comedown for someone who's life is adjusted to a much more substantial income (or who has obligations so great they can't afford to lose a significant portion of their income.

In some cases it seems like people are in a "catch 22" situation.

Quote from: Bellaon7 on September 14, 2009, 06:01:33 PM
ty for the thoughtful suggestions Nicky! one of the larger issues regarding my lack of employment is that i can't get any gender markers changed on any ID's or legal documents w/o proof of srs. so  i leave the gender part on all apps unmarked. & in addition i've chaged my legal name & all apps ask if you've ever worked under another name(dead givaway) which if for no other reason, have provide in order to verify my work hist.ts have no rights in my st, & unemployment in my city is almost 15%.

Certainly a dilema. I'm all out of ideas, except to apply anyway. Maybe you could say things like "someone ticked the wrong box when I was born and I'm stuck with it", or "my parents had a mean sense of humour" in regard to your name. Maybe you could try queer friendly places like queer clubs, book shops, cafe's, fetish outlets, sex shops. It won't be as much of an issue for them. It is not much but it might be a start. Also hit any of your friendly networks for jobs i.e. family and friends assuming you are on good terms with them.

If you have an old friend in another state and feeling brave you could always gamble on a one way ticket to their couch and go from there. Only need enough money for the bus.

Best of luck Ballaon7!

Are you in therapy?  Are you living full time?  Is your name change legally recognized?

-={LR}=-

I don't know what any of that means, but it looks like depression ramblings. I've said it before and I'll tell you too, county and state mental health departments usually have a sliding fee scale, and if your'e unemployed you can likely see them for free. Just because they don't have a "gender therapist" on staff doesn't mean they can't help you, in addition to our gid we are also usually battered, depressed, stressed, trauma survivors, and so on.

Quote from: Nicky on September 14, 2009, 08:15:06 PM
Certainly a dilema. Maybe you could try queer friendly places like queer clubs, book shops, cafe's, fetish outlets, sex shops. It won't be as much of an issue for them. It is not much but it might be a start.
Best of luck Ballaon7!

ty Nicky, that is a wonderful idea! there's a lot of these places here & this idea could proove to be my saving grace, it was just to ovbious me to see. ty & mucho luv!!!

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Post Merge: September 15, 2009, 02:01:22 PM

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Quote from: Becca on September 14, 2009, 11:13:50 PM
I don't know what any of that means, but it looks like depression ramblings. I've said it before and I'll tell you too, county and state mental health departments usually have a sliding fee scale, and if your'e unemployed you can likely see them for free. Just because they don't have a "gender therapist" on staff doesn't mean they can't help you, in addition to our gid we are also usually battered, depressed, stressed, trauma survivors, and so on.

ty Becca! i am in one of these st treatment programs w/moderate success for deppression, anxiety, & on... i am also an alcholic & therefore am prone to late night sensless babbling which i've done my best to remove. ty again! (ps ur avatar rocks!)

Lol, it sounds like you are feeling better today! I kinda thought that might be the thing, but it's safer to suggest someone is depressed than a lush 

Thanks, I like her too. Angels and Fairies are fine for some, including some really neat people around here; but I'll stick with vampires, muwaha. Why don't you quit fooling around down there and come hang with me in Oregon, the weather is starting to change and the three weeks a year when it's actually tolerable to live here are coming soon.