Quote from: Chamillion on September 19, 2009, 05:10:54 PM
My biggest fear was coming out to my dad, because he freaked out when I came out as a lesbian years ago, and we haven't had a good relationship since.  Surprisingly though, he took it really well and now we've actually started hanging out; he thinks it's kinda cool to have a son now 

I wish that were the case with my father. I know when I actually transition and start hormones and it is more physical than anything else he is going to be upset again. He has just recently been coming to terms with me coming out. It would have helped if he wanted a son I suppose but he loves his little girls and always wanted girls. The three other kids he has are all female.
Overall fear of losing my family is there but we are so tight knit that I doubt I will truly lose them.

Quote from: Ketsy on September 19, 2009, 08:33:54 AM
Isn't this pretty much the same question as in your other thread?  Not really a need to make more than one for it.

I came here looking to answer this honest question but was confronted with this. I really get put off by people who troll forums like some Wikipedia god telling people what to say, where they can say it and exactly what tone of voice they need to use.

I don't even want to be involved in this conversation now because this person has ruined it with thier senseless, pedantic crap.

Dying alone.

I'm worried that I'll never have a significant other or lasting relationship after transition. That no matter what I'll either be seen as a "freak" or a "mutilated girl" or just "crazy"...that everyone will be disgusted with me and I'll never find someone who is actually, wholly accepting of me as I should be. This really hit home recently when I told my boyfriend of a year that I was trans and going to go ahead with the changes; he still acts like nothing has changed, still 'shes' me and every time it comes up in conversation he flips. And all I can think of is, this relationship is going to end badly.

I'm afraid of taking a girl out and having to explain why I don't look like every other guy she's been with, or having someone confused as to why with me she can't have kids. Or having someone I know blow a relationship because they tell my sig other about "who I used to be"...

I think this here, this one thought, is why it's taking me so long to just jump.

Quote from: Jeannette on September 19, 2009, 01:18:46 PM
My biggest fear was really not transitioning.   I was terrified at the idea of being stuck in my former body forever.  I know I couldn't have survived it but there was always the fear in my mind.

4th'ed.
I was afraid I'd die without ever having been alive. And be buried with tits.

Quote from: Matilda on September 19, 2009, 04:55:01 PM

Hmmm...you'd be surprised what testosterone can do.  Testosterone is a very potent hormone.  You just have to give it time to do its magic.  Do you think your face is feminine?  Ha! I wish I could show you pictures of someone who's very dear to me .  That was "ultra feminine", and now, years later, there's absolutely no resemblance of that "girl" anymore.  No one on earth would ever guess that he was a "girl".  Well, as a matter of fact he never was "a girl", but I know that you know what I'm talking about.

My biggest fear was derision.  This has always been very serious to me and I was afraid people would make fun of me for it.  I was afraid I would be thought a freak, a caricature, a fool.

I guess this is related to not passing.  I knew I would never be able to pass and so didn't try.  Well, guess what?  I either pass much of the time or there are a lot more polite, nice, considerate people in the world than I ever would have guessed.

- Kate

My biggest fear prior to starting was that I was actually some sort of hyper-homosexual...and wanted to transition out of some deep rooted shame in a misguided effort to be "normal".

Quote from: Kamren on September 19, 2009, 05:06:02 PM
I second that... Sometimes it feels like everyone thinks its just a faze phase or your you're not going to go through with it. I don't think my family or even girlfriend believe it it's really me and it will disappear at some point or another. Perhaps it is because they can't relate. But to get that from therapist would be the worst because you need them to give the okay.

Also I don't have the means to start transition right now so I also am unnerved by the time that is slipping away. I know I am relatively young but it doesn't help the sense of wasted time.

On the contrary, I think it's because they can relate in a limited way. At some point, I'm sure many people have been dissatisfied with their sex and considered it (I'm inclined to think women moreso than men. Egotistical men perhaps believe that everyone wants to be a man) and gotten over it.

And yeah, I know how you feel with being underage. Nothing we can do, and we're still feminizing a little more each month. Frustrating.

SilverFang

Regret.

I'm afraid something will "snap" in my head, and one day I'll suddenly change gender... AFTER I've been on T  .

I try to look at it logically - It hasn't happened. It didn't happen, even when I tried to force the issue. I've never been or felt female - my gender identity has been consistant since childhood. I've hit that age where one's identity is "solidified", their neural development is pretty much complete... so it's very, very unlikely I'm going to change.

I know how extremely happy transitioning makes me, but at the same time I always feel a little uncomfortable "closing a door" - even if I am opening several others at the same time.

I assure myself - I've left hell and as tempting as it is, looking back to where I came from just might land me back in there. It's time to move ahead. It's ok to feel a little remorse, but mostly I need to reconsile with myself. If all else fails, go have a smoke under the stars.

Quote from: SilverFang on September 20, 2009, 12:25:02 AM
On the contrary, I think it's because they can relate in a limited way. At some point, I'm sure many people have been dissatisfied with their sex and considered it (I'm inclined to think women moreso than men. Egotistical men perhaps believe that everyone wants to be a man) and gotten over it.
SilverFang

I do believe there is some relation as far as small experiences go. But overall, like you said, it is limited.
I thought at one point that everyone did have the ability to put themselves in another person's shoes, or has experienced similar feelings. But I have been told by people that they can not understand it. My girlfriend told me this herself. She said she had pondered being a different gender at one point and has gotten frustrated in specific situations because of perceptions about women, but has never wanted to be a man. She told me she could not relate and most of her frustrations with me come from not understanding.
I do think some of this is B.S. and she could sympathize more than she does, but I tend to take people on their word unless proven otherwise.

There were so many: not be able to transition, not passing, rejection by the people I love, derision, dying before GRS as I didn't want die with male parts.  Most of all was losing my spouse, the absolute love of my life and my soul mate, so I thought.  She stayed with me through transition and for four years after.  Then I discovered she was having an affair with a guy after telling me she wasn't interested in sex or men.  She moved out this month. 

Even now, I have no regrets but it was a terrible price to pay to be myself.

Mine is probably that I'll never be able to have my own children and be alone as I grow old. Closely followed by the fact that I might be ridiculed by my friends and family.....

I'm not scared of any of the medical stuff, physical pain is much easier to deal with than the emotional stuff.

My biggest fear? Fear itself

My biggest fear was coming out to my parents.

Quote from: Teknoir on September 20, 2009, 12:38:47 AM
Regret.

I'm afraid something will "snap" in my head, and one day I'll suddenly change gender... AFTER I've been on T  .

I try to look at it logically - It hasn't happened. It didn't happen, even when I tried to force the issue. I've never been or felt female - my gender identity has been consistant since childhood. I've hit that age where one's identity is "solidified", their neural development is pretty much complete... so it's very, very unlikely I'm going to change.

I know how extremely happy transitioning makes me, but at the same time I always feel a little uncomfortable "closing a door" - even if I am opening several others at the same time.

I assure myself - I've left hell and as tempting as it is, looking back to where I came from just might land me back in there. It's time to move ahead. It's ok to feel a little remorse, but mostly I need to reconsile with myself. If all else fails, go have a smoke under the stars.

I felt/still feel some of this. It's sad in a way. I'm leaving behind the person I was 'supposed' to be. And who people saw. But I was a shell. A zombie.

Not transitioning, forsure and...

Being without my own children...unable to have them and not big on adopting. The opportunity for that one has gone, years ago when I used to date women to try to be "normal", there were a couple of "scares", but no child ever came of it. There is no way I can go back to how I was before (with T) just to make some more sperm. The idea that I will never be able to have my own biological children sends shivers down my spine and makes me cry pretty often, and I *still* can't go back.

Aside from not transitioning, losing my family, my BF, not passing.  In the end, the only trouble I had was passing.  Hormones weren't kind to me so I was forced to have FFS to fix the problem.  Today, I'm fully transitioned with a loving family, a BF, currently working in the field I that love, but it wasn't easy.  Transition is never easy.  I had to sacrifice many things to be myself.

Losing my kids would be the worst but living a lie is about a tie. They are grown and can live on their own now so it is time for me to be myself. So far one kid struggles badly, one has no opinion and two are OK with it. Next, hoping my health issues won't stop me from getting T  after all this time and hassle I have gone through to get to this point.

My biggest fear - all of the above!

First seeing my GT, my first electro session, loosing my family, never being able to pass, etc.

For each step we take, hopefully, we'll overcome each "fear."

And most, if not all, of these fears would not exist if we were accepted in society for who we are.  Not being accepted seems to be the foundation of all fears.

My biggest fear is I will never see the TG community band together and work to fight discrimination, prejudice and ignorance.  That we will always focus on "me" instead of "us".

Julie