Hi guys sorry its been so long since iv been on. A lot had happened since i last came on. I had told my family my plans they said some pretty harsh stuff like i am sick and going against god.

My god mother on the other hand has been very understanding and is there for me.

Iv tried too do alot these past few months too move foward.
In the space of a month i cut back on junk food iv quit smoking for health reasons so that when i start on hrt i wont be at as much risk if i was too remain smoking and remain overweight.

I am 6ft3 i used too weight 22 stone iv dropped too 19.5 which is a start i aim for 12 stone.

Iv gone too college too take up photography so i can get a job in that field. Iv also have plans too move out of my familys house and rent a place at the beggining of next year.

This is when i will be debt free and can afford too move out.

Iv been too my doctor who referred me too mental health as he said they can get me the right referrals
and within 2 weeks they had referred me too
a psychosexualy therapist "which i dont know much about"

But iv been told they can refer people too the gender clinic here in london / uk.

Iv also managed too grow my hair real long and iv made a new friend who i hope too go stay with soon and spend a few days as sarah and actualy going out as sarah in a town where the community accepts us.

My family have made it clear that they dont want too see me if i live as sarah and these past two weeks have been upsetting and my mum and dad are having a hard time i dont think they will ever accept me as sarah.

they have said some hurtfull things which enarly stopped me from moving forward i just wanted too give up but i did not. My gp has been greate and done follow ups too see if everything is going smoothly.

Im not sure what too expect when seeing the psychosexual therapist but i will hear from him by 8th of october.

My mum she makes comments on how i should cut my hair as boys dont have hair that long and how im a good boy.

I dont like upsetting my family and in the past i spent a year trying to supress/ignore my feelings so i would not upset them  but in the end i was hurting.

I dont know what is going too happen when i move out but i believe i will make it and i do feel that i want hrt & srs
its taken a lot of hard work too try and get my weight down and quit smoking but i did it because i know its got too happen if i am too live as my female self.

Iv also taken a photo as my feminine self

Im not very good with make up yet

It sounds like you are doing well, Sarah.  Losing weight and quitting smoking and being financially independent are all good things.

It's too bad about your family.  Some just don't accept it.  But you have to do what is right for you not for them.  You're the one living your life.  It's wonderful that your godmother is supportive.  We all can use all the support we can get.

I'm glad for you that you are getting your life in order in preparation instead of just jumping in without fore-thought.  That makes me think you'll do well.

Good luck, sweetie.

- Kate

Good for you on taking some huge steps there! I was a longtime, heavy smoker myself so I know how tough it was to give those up! Way to go. Don't give up entirely on your family, it may take years but they could come around.

QuoteIt sounds like you are doing well, Sarah.  Losing weight and quitting smoking and being financially independent are all good things.

It's too bad about your family.  Some just don't accept it.  But you have to do what is right for you not for them.  You're the one living your life.  It's wonderful that your godmother is supportive.  We all can use all the support we can get.

I'm glad for you that you are getting your life in order in preparation instead of just jumping in without fore-thought.  That makes me think you'll do well.

Good luck, sweetie.

- Kate

Thanks i just want too make sure iv planned everything out.

Quote from: Wendy1974 on September 23, 2009, 07:30:31 PM
Good for you on taking some huge steps there! I was a longtime, heavy smoker myself so I know how tough it was to give those up! Way to go. Don't give up entirely on your family, it may take years but they could come around.

Thanks. I wont give up on my family i love them so much. I admit things are 10 times harder without them but i know i am strong and can make it on my own i hope in time they do come round.

ok, no one else will say it, but you have a beautiful, very femine, & well featured face, before hrt!?!? i'm a little jealous, but u have much to look forward to, & ur dimples r cute as a bow!!! best of wishes 2u, Isabella 

agreed you have a great starting point and your young hrt will only improve your appearance as a female hugs your mom will come around first and she will drag your dad in kicking and screaming but they will accept you they are in the trying to change your mind and its a phase believe now give them time
jessie AKA as Jessica
found a therapist who works on line completely very reasonable and second letter comes from us doc in NC an associate of his nero posted this in dec 08 just talked to him via chat line think im going to use him for my letters

Wow, I think you look really good. It sounds like you know what you want and are not afraid to go get it, that's really, really good.

As for family, my mother is evangelical Christian and my father is Catholic. My father loathes me and won't acknowledge I exist anymore but my mother, though she struggles with it, is OK with me and she has pleaded with me to keep in contact with her. My evangelical Christian sister thinks I'm living in sin and when she hosts holiday gatherings I'm not welcome unless I were to come as old me, which is impossible. I couldn't pass for male if I tried and I'll be damned if I'm even going to try, unless she wants to host a Halloween party. I keep joking that some Halloween I'm gonna dress up as a guy. Anyway... My other sister is Buddhist/Catholic and part of a fringe Catholic group that broke away from the main church and embraces all things LGBT. She has been very liberal for most of her adult life and very supportive of me. Two of my children, one of whom is of age and the other almost of age, have been on-again-off-again and downright abusive at times. They have a lot of evangelical Christian right-wing nutjob influence.

So I know how you feel about family. Family can be agonizing, especially when religious dogma is a factor. I have found that sometimes it is best to simply shut family out. My oldest sister, the Catholic Buddhist, hasn't spoken to anyone in the family but me in 10 years. She does so for her own sanity. If your family is judgmental and abuses you, you may find you have to do the same thing. Hopefully not, and I would do everything you can to try to make things work with them without compromising yourself and being true to yourself, but in the end I have found that it's the people who love and accept you no matter what who are your real family, whether they be blood relations or not.

well on one hand all of my bio family is dead so i dont have to worry about that my prob is kids my wife will accept or divorce im past the point of worry on that i just hope kids arnt to upset i dont care if they accept it just dont want them to hate over it.
jessica