Can't go to the ladies room cuz i have a penis, guys room? whoa, nothing good can come out of that. oh! i know, the family restroom 10miles away @ walmart that might or might not be there, but even if i do find it i've already peed alover on the bus. if thats not enough to get me arrested, surely its enough to get me commited. yet if i just want it bad enough, & i make to that wonderful family restroom @ walmart, ahh...but some some one sees somethimg they don't like, a possible pediphile. secucurity shows up & i've nothing to show that can make this situation go anywhere but downhill...now pretty much anything can happen, none of which is good. how did i get myself in this horrible situation? i just had to pee....   

if you look like a girl it doesn't matter how you pee.. just sit at the toilet sit nobody has xray vision O_o
Edit: Oh wait it was a song? O_o this thread is getting weirder and weirder

Quote from: Bellaon7 on September 23, 2009, 11:30:58 PM
Can't go to the ladies room cuz i have a penis, guys room? whoa, nothing good can come out of that. oh! i know, the family restroom 10miles away @ walmart that might or might not be there, but even if i do find it i've already peed alover on the bus. if thats not enough to get me arrested, surely its enough to get me commited. yet if i just want it bad enough, & i make to that wonderful family restroom @ walmart, ahh...but some some one sees somethimg they don't like, a possible pediphile. secucurity shows up & i've nothing to show that can make this situation go anywhere but downhill...now pretty much anything can happen, none of which is good. how did i get myself in this horrible situation? i just had to pee....

Pee where you can but not on the bus lol.

Why does having a penis stop you? Once I went fulltime it never stopped me. 

That would be a strange song.

I've been known to walk clear across campus to the convention center because it's hardly ever used during school hours, or the theatre is another good spot. Virginia shared a story with us a while back about security coming after her in the mall I think, but being content with a peek down her blouse.

Maybe big sunglasses and a floppy hat would help your confidence?

OH NOOOO not the bathroom question AGAIN... I'm a firm believer in the duck theory as it has served me well, if it looks like, walks like and acts like a duck then it must be a duck. Simply insert your perceived appearance in place of duck.

Quote from: ceili on September 24, 2009, 11:10:19 AM
Why does having a penis stop you? Once I went fulltime it never stopped me. 

it doesn't stop me & once i went fulltime i too use the ladies room. in fact i have 2 carry letters from 2 drs. however these letters r not legally binding & simply give me a good chance of getting off the hook if there's a situation. the whole point of this thead was to point out the complete  absurdity of having to live in fear of possible arrest for something so begnine & trivial. i pass well, but what if i couldn't? i just think this insane for us to have put up w/in sts. w/o ts/tg laws.

Well, I'm clueless as to what's going on here.  (This is not a new state for me.  I'm getting good at it with all the practice I've had. ) 

But, since only a select few get to see what's in my pants, as Cyndi said:

Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on September 24, 2009, 02:14:51 PM
OH NOOOO not the bathroom question AGAIN... I'm a firm believer in the duck theory as it has served me well, if it looks like, walks like and acts like a duck then it must be a duck. Simply insert your perceived appearance in place of duck.

- Kate

Quote from: Cyndigurl45 on September 24, 2009, 02:14:51 PM
OH NOOOO not the bathroom question AGAIN... I'm a firm believer in the duck theory as it has served me well, if it looks like, walks like and acts like a duck then it must be a duck. Simply insert your perceived appearance in place of duck.

ok, 1'st of all u look exactly like a girl i used to lust over(& I could have hit that if I really wanted to...really, she just started to want to get all up into my stuff). i'll give u the benefit of that ur not her, here, just to mess w/my head...oh but ur very beautiful nontheless. now my point is...my point is i, understand that which is commen sense, u walk into any where looking around @ who might be looking, eveyone IS going to look & start to wonder. the problem is that when push comes to shove, those of us in states w/o ts/tg rights can be arrested, & if you can't walk & talk like a duck...now back to ur eyes...

that's the crux of it for me - I DON'T "look like a duck" - not exactly and not enough to be sure I won't get clocked.

Especially when it's very rare I am trying to fake breasts when I'm out.

If I can't find a unisex, I usually decide it's better to be "the dude with makeup" in the men's room than the "pervert" in the ladies.

*sigh*

Try this place...
http://safe2pee.org/

It maps gender neutral bathrooms and places you can go safely regardless.

i have my own solution to this until i have srs i will use male restroom i dont dress overly girly anyrate more casual jeans and sweaters type and if they males dont like it f them lol
jessica

I know I'm going to catch crap for saying this, but I still say that if you have the voice and carry yourself right, it almost doesn't matter what you look like physically, no one's going to question you. That's one of the reasons I started rigorously working on my voice months before I came out fulltime. The mannerisms and such came naturally, voice was difficult, but BOY was it worth it.

Case in point... How much people-watching do you do? And I don't mean ogling pretty women as they walk by, unfortuntely I know plenty of transwomen who do that... I mean, just subtly watching what women wear, how they do their makeup, how they walk, how they talk... I spent my entire life surrounded by women but I still people-watch to see what people are wearing and what they are doing. Now... Back to my point... Look at a LOT -- not just a few -- a LOT of the women that pass through the doors at your local department store and see how feminine a lot of them look. They don't. I've speculated that about 20% of women look pretty d*mn unsightly. The difference between them and the average transgender woman who is struggling to pass is, they don't question their gender. I don't mean that as an insult to any of you. I hated the beginning and in between stages because I knew I didn't pass well and I still question my looks even though I never get read.

Remember that if you're on 'mones for any length of time your looks are probably changing by the month. Now is the time to work on the other things that will make or break you and stop worrying so much about physical appearance. It's the one thing you can't do anything about, yet it's the number one thing transgender women obsess about, many times forgetting about all the other little things that will help them pass. My #2 tip? More makeup and jewelry doth not a woman make.

I hope I don't sound preachy or insulting because I'm definitely not trying to do so. Going back to the original point, public bathrooms aren't going to be a big deal if you work on the things that matter NOW instead of waiting until you're fulltime or not working on them at all. And as always, YMMV.

ceili i agree in part especially about the general appearence of gg in say like walmart or other low to medium end department stores but in places like restraunts and stuff they are usually put together but as far as appearence goes i dont care if im read im still pre hrt no muscle loss and i can fight if i have to my point is i dont worry about what others think im tired of it 42 years of trying to be a male has took that worry completely out of me i use male restroom because i have male parts until that is no longer the case. if the guys in their feel i shouldnt be dressed in a womans sweater then by all means bring it to me and we can settle it right there, i am not a violent person but i will not be made useless either no snide comment will go unaddressed. To me its self esteam i am what i am period im not completely out yet brcause i dont want to get fired although i will address that if it happens and im working on how to bring this to my wife and kids these oppinions i value and will be the toughest for me. even then though i am prepared to walk away if thats what it takes
jessica

When I went full time I went full time, including never having set foot in a men's room since (except to clean one ). 

I know I've been clocked in the women's rooms a few times, but I am friendly and chatty and relaxed and just do my business, just like all the other women in there, and haven't encountered the bathroom police yet.  (And yes, it still says "M" on my drivers license and no, I don't carry a letter.)

Go with confidence into the brave new world.  To carry Cyndi's duck theory one more step: If you look like, walk like and act like a pervert then people will see you as a pervert.

YMMV

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on September 25, 2009, 08:46:48 AM
When I went full time I went full time, including never having set foot in a men's room since (except to clean one ). 

same here, except I don't clean them lol I would feel totally out of place in a mens room now, and certainly feel uncomfortable because I don't belong there, even if I am still pre-op. I carry a therapist's letter with me too just in case, but have never had any problems. Just act comfortable and normal and unless you're sporting a 3-day beard stubble in the ladies room it's likely no one is even going to notice.

Quote from: K8 on September 25, 2009, 08:46:48 AM
When I went full time I went full time, including never having set foot in a men's room since (except to clean one ). 

I know I've been clocked in the women's rooms a few times, but I am friendly and chatty and relaxed and just do my business, just like all the other women in there, and haven't encountered the bathroom police yet.  (And yes, it still says "M" on my drivers license and no, I don't carry a letter.)

Go with confidence into the brave new world.  To carry Cyndi's duck theory one more step: If you look like, walk like and act like a pervert then people will see you as a pervert.

YMMV

- Kate

Love that last sentence. Priceless IMO.

Funny story, to me at least. I was about eight months into fulltime and was helping clean a large building for an event where a group I was a part of met for a hobby related thing. Everyone in this group knew about my TS status and didn't care. Anyway, another woman and her teenage daughter and I were cleaning together and we got to the men's room, which was FILTHY! We just looked at each other and I blurted out "Oh NO! I spent 36 years being forced to go in those nasty things and I'll be d*mned if I'm gonna do it now!" They both laughed so hard. I got out of doing it, lol. I had already by myself cleaned a really nasty, musty moldy room that no one else wanted to touch and had water damage from a roof leak, so it was fair