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coming out to parents

Started by reno, September 27, 2009, 12:16:43 PM

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reno

After a year of knowing I'm transsexual, I finally got the courage to actually tell my parents. Of course, they're currently on a holiday, and so I wrote up a letter explaining "what" I am, how I got to realize that, and how I'm still the same person, and left it on their bed. They get back in about a week, and I figured if I wrote it now then I'd have time to stop worrying about their reactions when they finally read it. I guess the only reason I'm worried is because whenever my mum saw a segment of a documentary about transsexuals, she'd scoff and say they were probably just delusional.

I guess I'll be updating this with their reaction when they do get back, but for now I'm kind of .. anxious about their reaction, but very calm because I finally did it. Now I won't have to spend every moment I'm around them thinking, "blurt it out now.. no, don't.. no, do.."
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Between Names

Best of luck to you!  It's a scary thing, coming out to people who have literally known you your whole life.

Now, I don't know your parents personally, so I have no clue as to how they are going to react, but I can say this:  Even if they disagree with you and doubt your judgement, nobody knows you as well as you do.  :)  I hope it goes well.
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Adam

Good luck with that.

I know coming out to parents is hard. I found it to be one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and I even knew that my parents would be cool with it before hard, though it didn't make me any less nervous. So ya, it's hard to come out.
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reno

#3
Well, I said I'd update with their reaction, and so far their reaction has been absolutely not a single thing. I suppose part of that would be because in the letter I wrote, it said some thing along the lines of, "part of the reason this is in letter form is to let you have all the time you need to deal with it".

Or perhaps it's because just last night, before they read the letter, my brother and mum got into a debate about having gay kids and friends, which me and my sister joined, and because I'm so used to referring to myself as "he", I forgot to censor what I was saying and let it slip a few times.

So maybe she's realized that instead of it being this massive life change, it just explains all the behavior I've exhibited over the last year that she just hasn't understood until now..

Post Merge: October 04, 2009, 05:50:21 AM

.. Very odd in deed. Throughout the day, mum continued acting like not a thing had changed, and referring to me as "she". About 20 minutes ago, halfway through a conversation, she said, "of all the letters I've gotten from you over the years, that was definitely the most bizarre... Vinny".

She asked why I felt that way, I explained the whole "thinking of myself as a boy felt right, and I no longer wanted to harm myself". She asked what I planned to do about it, I mentioned hormone therapy and top surgery as being inevitable.

And then she said she'd have to go surf the net to read up on it, because she doesn't really know much about transsexuals.

So I suppose this has gone far better than I ever let myself imagine. *imitates Mr Burns* Excellent.
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PolarBear

Sounds like things are going very well so far, Vincent.

I hope your parents will come to accept this in time.

Good luck from another Vincent, who already told his parents but hardly every speaks about it with them, since "not speaking about important things" is something we do quite well in the family.


Greets,
Vincent
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FairyGirl

Quote from: PolarBear on October 04, 2009, 12:20:25 PMGood luck from another Vincent, who already told his parents but hardly every speaks about it with them, since "not speaking about important things" is something we do quite well in the family.

Hey I think we may be related. :-\
Girls rule, boys drool.
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.
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