Hi Bethany,  I can relate too.  I remember making the decision at puberty to try and be the boy that my body hair was making me and so I pretty much suppressed the all the girly stuff, but believe me at some stage it comes back.  Something happened last year that required me to do some counseling and the result of that was I had to let the walls down and stop just holding everything in.  So, I opened up after 30 years.  This year it started coming out again.  I have had a makeover and absolutely loved it, only it had to end and I actually got teary on the way home.  Yesterday I was home alone and so I was able to dress for 3 1/2 hours while I did the house work.  I haven't enjoyed the house work ever as much as I did yesterday.  I want to do it again and again and again (the dressing not the house work - smiles) because the clothes then match how I feel.  There is a part of me that is happy enough to sloth around in jeans and t shirt as a guy, but when I put the nice stuff on it is just...... like........ a natural high for me.  I'm sorry i don't have an answer for you, but know that you are not alone, I guess that is all I can say to you.
Lots of love Rebecca xx
PS  You started this question in July, have you made any progress at all?

as the urge seems to ebb and flow, it certainly gets stronger and of course more natural and satisfying. I feel like i have( or want) to tell some of my close friends that i now am a crossdresser.I even dream up stories to tell them how it occured to me to dress. I just feel that i must come out at least a little soon.

For the past few weeks I have been wearing my mums bra and underwear everywhere without her knowing and im still not satisfied to be honest, but hopefully this will change soon

The urge to dress is there everyday, I am enjoying every minute of it.