I think I may sound small minded...or stubborn...but during my transition I made a point of only associaiting with Genetic females, or shopped/travelled..etc by myself, and activley avoided the chance of being in the street with another transgendered person, as I was passing well I felt it would draw attention I didnt want...omg I sound monsterous...however this was my attitude. I felt that the best models to base my behaviour on was other women, how they chose their clothes, how they wore them/cobined them, their makeyp, how they expressed themselves.....and so forth. Silly becuase I've had my fair share of being read, and clearly rermember the worst incident with clarity.

When I was working, a couple of girls, who could not pass with a bag over their head, would come in and I would not look in their direction.  That was so that they would not want to come over and start a conversation.  The last thing I needed was to be outed by any other transperson whether by association or in a personal interaction.


Janet

Quote from: rogue on October 13, 2009, 02:55:21 PM
I think I may sound small minded...or stubborn...but during my transition I made a point of only associaiting with Genetic females, or shopped/travelled..etc by myself, and activley avoided the chance of being in the street with another transgendered person, as I was passing well I felt it would draw attention I didnt want...omg I sound monsterous...however this was my attitude. I felt that the best models to base my behaviour on was other women, how they chose their clothes, how they wore them/cobined them, their makeyp, how they expressed themselves.....and so forth. Silly becuase I've had my fair share of being read, and clearly rermember the worst incident with clarity.

While transition is now many years behind me, I did and still do avoid all public contact with other TS's, regardless of their status.  I find no need for any association.  Yes it may be cruel and monstrous, but it's a cruel and monstrous world out there.  Lets face it... one person in transition out and about is often hard to spot, but put two together and the gig is up.

-={LR}=-

I forgive all of you who feel this way.

Quote from: Virginia87106 on October 13, 2009, 03:36:58 PM
I forgive all of you who feel this way.

Whew... I feel much better now.

-={LR}=-

Nope, not at all.

Quote from: heatherrose on October 13, 2009, 04:11:26 PM

We are entitled to not be subjected to discrimination because
we do not practice discrimination within our own "community"?

Who mentioned discrimination?

-={LR}=-

Discrimination is a sociological term referring to treatment taken toward or against a person of a certain group that is taken in consideration based on class or category. The United Nations explains: "Discriminatory behaviours take many forms, but they all involve some form of exclusion or rejection."

The point was well made above that exclusion of transgender persons because one does not want to be "outed" as transgender....is discrimination.

No I don't avoid other transsexuals. I think some of the girls in my area look up to me as a role model of sorts. There was nobody around to help me so I am happy to step up and help them if I can. Unless they act like asses!
I do, however, avoid Drag Queens and Crossdressers (not that there is anything wrong with that). they just tend to be a bit too flambouyant and over the top for me.

This is an interesting topic. I see it like this, a person is a person trans or non trans. The issue with me is weather or not we have anything in common. Just because your trans to doesn't make us BFF's. Think about it, if your in a a gender roll of any kind do you just rush over to every same gender person, my guess issss, NOT. ALSO I would not run up to another trans person and be like "HEY YOUR TRANS TO!" It all about boundaries... thats all.

With that said I would not EVER blow another trans person off just because they don't pass. It sends the wrong message about my character and to the general public at large. I will always give you a chance. If your a good person with good intentions than you will most likely get my attention.

Hope this makes sense...

Quote from: Virginia87106 on October 13, 2009, 04:24:07 PM
Discrimination is a sociological term referring to treatment taken toward or against a person of a certain group that is taken in consideration based on class or category. The United Nations explains: "Discriminatory behaviours take many forms, but they all involve some form of exclusion or rejection."

The point was well made above that exclusion of transgender persons because one does not want to be "outed" as transgender....is discrimination.

So the fact that I didn't/don't seek other TS to have an "Outing" with makes me discriminatory?  Ya right, I didn't see hordes of TS seeking out my company when I was in transition.  Give me a break, I transitioned for me, and me alone, yep I'm selfish... Hmmm maybe that's why other TS didn't seek me out, ya think

-={LR}=-

I have be around other TSs that did not pass at all, but if they are happy.  The whole point of my transition is to blend in and one day go semi-stealth.  Being with others that don't seem to care about blending makes me self conscience.

I am not discriminating, except in my taste for blending in.  Most of the girls here, I would have no problem going out with.


Janet

Quote from: heatherrose on October 13, 2009, 05:18:54 PM

The chain of discrimination is broken when one of the links
chooses to judge another by the content of their character
and not by their incongruous gender representation.

I think there's a little hypocrisy flying around here.  We make discriminatory decisions everyday of our lives, we take part in those things we like and avoid those we don't like.

-={LR}=-

Quote from: Ladyrider on October 13, 2009, 05:53:13 PM
We make discriminatory decisions everyday of our lives, we take part in those things we like and avoid those we don't like.

-={LR}=-

Right, but being down right rude because you don't like the way someone looks is a completely different story.

Quote from: Mischa on October 13, 2009, 05:57:08 PM
Right, but being down right rude because you don't like the way someone looks is a completely different story.

Hmmm...  With all due respect Mischa, please show me where in any of my posts to this topic that I mentioned anything about how anyone looks.  I believe I said:

"I did and still do avoid all public contact with other TS's, regardless of their status."

-={LR}=-

Quote from: Ladyrider on October 13, 2009, 03:27:31 PM
While transition is now many years behind me, I did and still do avoid all public contact with other TS's, regardless of their status.  I find no need for any association.  Yes it may be cruel and monstrous, but it's a cruel and monstrous world out there.  Lets face it... one person in transition out and about is often hard to spot, but put two together and the gig is up.

-={LR}=-

Sorry if I offended you. The apparent premise behind this quote has everything to do with looks.

I can understand that, and I don't judge someone for doing that. I've gone out with other trans ppl and seen ppl look at them with the OMG look. It can be hard, because then you feel self-conscious too.

For me, however, friends are friends. If one of my friends are transitioning I go out with them anyway. I really don't care and sometimes I get a bit of a punk attitude and stare back at people with a "what's your problem" look. But, that's just me, and I totally understand what it's like.

I have a few friends that are trans, although most of my friends aren't trans and over all I've drifted away from the "trans" world, so I don't end up hanging out with many trans people these days. I think that happens to a lot of people in the community. Although, there are many that stay in the community and in many cases, most of their friends are trans.

Sometimes there becomes a divide between the starters and those further a long. Some times hanging around just brings a lot of anxiety; you have starters that are envious of you, and you don't want to re-visit the feelings all over again. It's a difficult time with transitioning, and being in that world when you're ahead sometimes feels like you're stuck revisiting those feelings and stuck in the "trans world."

I think it's healthy to have friends outside of the trans community, and it's natural to drift away as you go along. Others, sometimes, choose to stay in the community and that's perfectly fine, too. The community can bring a lot of security and support to a person who needs it. Also, some ppl take on the position of being an activist for the community or being a great help to those starting -- that's perfectly fine. It all comes down to choice.

Personally, 99% of my life is outside of the trans world. There have been times when I've gone to activists events (ie, when the Alberta government delisted GRS os a covered healthcare cost). And I will sometimes make an appearance at the local group, but not very often. I have a few friends that are trans and a few that I'll talk to and hang out with, but not all. To me it comes down to if they are a friend or not, and not so much if they are trans or not. Just because someone is trans it doesn't mean that I own them my friendship; or that I owe everyone in group to "show them the way."

In the past, I've tried to help a few ppl with transitioning -- usually ending up in disaster. I found that sometimes ppl will try to hold onto my hand too much for direction, but in reality they have to make their transition their transition. My way isn't the way for everyone else. I also found a lot of people who start transitioning end up having crushes on me... that 'causes a lot of problems as well. I realize, however, the crushes come from misdirected admiration for me and the desire to be where I'm at in life. I call it the rock star curse, or perhaps more appropriately, the trans star curse. LOL

Now, instead, I'll offer up some advice. I'll go shopping with you if you want. But I'm not gonna hold someone's hand through the whole process 'cause I know how important it is for someone to learn to fly on their own two wings.

So, that's where I'm at. I don't blame someone who goes either way -- if they stay in the community and become the rock that others need, or if they just life life outside of the trans world. I can understand the avoiding part, 'cause I know how being with another trans person (especially someone just starting out) can really affect you in a lot of ways.

--natalie

Quote from: Mischa on October 13, 2009, 06:08:46 PM
Sorry if I offended you. The apparent premise behind this quote has everything to do with looks.

No offence taken... By status I meant pre-op or post-op. 

-={LR}=-