Hi feeling a bit crap today but i had a letter from the Leeds Gender Identity Service tellin me about the service and what will happen. And in the same letter i,ve been put on a waiting list.

The thing thats bothering me the most is when i go through with this(MTF) my mum says that i cannot tell anyone that my mum knows that means any of my family or i will be homeless and my mum will be my enemy so in 3 or 4 years time my mum will have died coz she is very ill and i will not be able to go to her funeral and the family will want to know why so i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. And i have not got a flat yet so none of this can happen. But been to the doc and got a sick note been getting a s-note for the past 16 weeks for stress anxiety and depression.

Sorry if this dont make sense but as the subject says Not Thinking Straight. I realy need someone who has been through all this to talk to and to make sense of it coz i dont know who i am anymore.

Hi Gemma, I can only say I think you need to talk to a  professional gender counselor.

I can say though, at the onset of my transition, my Mum did not want anyone else in the family to know. Aunts, cousins etc etc. That all passed with time and the whole extended family now are aware and on speaking terms.