I've been overwhelmingly well recieved by the gen pop. Honestly, I am a very nonthreatoning & possibly an easy target for abuse. The smallest, oldest, weakest girls here could most likely kick my butt, if I asked for it. But people are by in large VERY friendly & respectful towards me. The problem is irregardless of what kind of human I am, I am treated like poison by employers. I've never been in an argument with a customer, even if I believe they're unreasonable. It's very easy to diffuse a potentialy hostile situation by taking a little on the chin & showing respect as a response. Kill em' with kindness. But this does not seem to hold water with an employer when you are openly trans.  I don't & never have felt like I was at odds with gen pop, but there seems to be no chance with employers.

I have been well received by GenPop.  But my ex employer wanted me out, they just could not deal.  And now I find myself looking for work.  But because I am having problems with my back and hip, I am taking the time off to care for it and the pain I suffer.

But as a general rule, I am just another talk gal.


Janet

How are you recieved by the gen public while intrans?

mostly with total and complete indifference. I never flouted any "male privelege" anyway so if it's gone now I don't miss it. I do notice that people in general, males and females alike, tend to treat females like we're dumb as a box of rocks. Funny, most times I just play along with that; it seems easier. Otherwise I can't tell that I've been treated any different than any other woman in the crowd. I am fortunate to be self employed so that hasn't been an issue so far either.

Although our immediate fights are personal in many diff ways, I've not experienced hatred fron the gen pop. I believe this is very important, ie a political battle againts these idiotic politicians. I am pleasently surprised at how I am treated by US citizens. You can take your politicians & stick em! They don't represensent anyone & they worship at the alter of HATRED. I've not witnessed this level of hatred from poeple in general, & my next vote with be against all & for none! People rule, polititions suck!

The general public can, for me, be broken down into 3 groups.

1. The positivly curious
2. The indifferent
3. The offended

Most people are indifferent. They don't see my paperwork, and I don't interact with them long enough for them to care. It's also possible they don't clock me, or they do and don't care. Most people have better things to do than pay attention to someone else - that being how large numbers of people can co-exist .

Some people are curious. Some of those will ask questions. Most will not, looking as though the elephant in the room just shat on their foot. I like to watch and grin at these people  . The questioners have reacted in a positive manner.

A small number of people (so far only women) seem to take my presence as a personal insult, and react accordingly.  I assume these people are radical feminists or hardcore rightwing christians or something. Their problem with me is their problem with me and nothing more. Nothing has ever come of it - just bad customer service.

Generally walking through the street some people may stare but overall nothing but a quick glance
Interacting is a bit different when paying bills etc but when you deal with the public you would meet people from all walks of life so forgotton when the next customer walks in.
Out right hostility, mostly at a pub around closing time

My "in transition" was a LONG time ago and in my teens, long before anybody ever heard of "trans"-anything and in a backwoodsy area. Early on some figured I was gay but most just didn't know what the heck to think ... is that a boy or a girl? ... I donno! Acceptance? Well at least I wasn't beat to a pulp but hardly had much "support". By my late teens, I couldn't pass as male, even in boy clothes but not much changed.

I went straight into normal life (stealth) after SRS and nobody had any second thoughts.

I have encountered everything between enthusiastic support to indifference.  I have not yet met anyone who took offense at my transition.  (I'm sure they are out there.  I just haven't run into them yet.)

Generally, women seem to have an easier time accepting my transition than men.  But in the day-to-day, meeting strangers, men are more often oblivious to my transition than women.  I've gotten congratulations and welcomes from women but never men, and sometimes women give me a look like we're sharing a wonderful secret.

I'm retired (thank the gods) and so don't have to deal with an employer.

- Kate

Actually, people are more willing to talk to me now than before. I don't know for sure what about me bothered people before, I've heard it described as carrying a palpable sadness...but I think that was a nice way of saying I was creepy. Whatever, that's gone. When I strike up a conversation with someone now, they will almost always engage me rather than hurrying away. I'm a student, and for the most part my professors are indifferent (they've seen it all before) but a couple of the math professors are being kinda weird. That's okay too, I didn't like them or their courses before and I still don't...although one of them is kinda cute.

Bella, what kind of work are you qualified to do? You might consider a state job...

Becca, you are one of the sweetest people I have ever met! I'm very pleased to hear that you are in school. I am a cook, not a chef, but a very experienced cook. I'm not sure if there is any sort of gov pos for someone like me. But as long as I was living as a guy, I could get a job no prob, even in this economy I would have no fear. When I could no longer work as a male, then live what's left as a female, the world became a different place. I can't pass as male now even if I were willilng, but then there's those pesky gender markers & the whole "have you worked under another name" thing.

Quote from: Becca on October 26, 2009, 08:17:20 PM
Actually, people are more willing to talk to me now than before. I don't know for sure what about me bothered people before, I've heard it described as carrying a palpable sadness...but I think that was a nice way of saying I was creepy. Whatever, that's gone. When I strike up a conversation with someone now, they will almost always engage me rather than hurrying away.

This has been my experience, too.  Perhaps they just sensed there was something wrong with you.  (There was - you were pretending to be the wrong gender.)

I don't know what to tell you about the job thing, Bella.  I'm not sure why your gender or you having experience as a (ersatz) guy would make any difference.   I've had no rejection, but then I'm not looking for work. 

Case in point: I just got off the phone with a local photographer.  I had bought one of his photos a couple of years ago and he was updating his email list.  He asked for me by my male name.  Usually I just say: "He's not around anymore" and they hang up, but I knew who he was and so said I used to be *him* but am now Katherine.

He never skipped a beat and continued as if I said I changed my phone number or something.  We had a nice chat.  Yes, he's trying to get me to buy another photograph, but I think I can sense when there's a hiccup in the conversation.

Maybe I'm living in TG Nirvana, but this happens all the time around here.  People just don't seem to think that changing from a male name to a female name (and all that that implies) is weird.  I think I'll ask a couple of restaurant owners I know about whether having a TG cook would be bad.  (From previous conversations I've had with them, they would be happy to have anyone who was reliable and good even if a Martian or something.)

- Kate

I'm not that sweet, it's a trick to get you close enough so I can bite you, muwah!

Ok, so you can cook. How about hospitals, nursing homes, state colleges, prisons, and other such places that pay a reasonable living wage and value diversity? A couple terms ago I met a guy who was washing dishes at the local hospital and making about as much as my therapist. Just some ideas. There has to be a place for you somewhere, and it's more than likely here in Oregon so why don't you quit resisting?

I think the most telling reaction is when I get ID'ed at a bar, restaurant, or liquor store. A few people have been surprised to see a picture of a guy and a male name on my DL, but most don't really notice. Based on that, I think I pass reasonably well at first glance, but that I get clocked pretty quickly after that.

And nobody seems to care the slightest bit.

If I really paid alot of attention to everyone around me I'd probably never get anything done.

So I really don't know what the general public thinks, but the quickest thing I realized, and probably most of us here have...Is that the world doesn't end, the lynch mob doesn't come, and on a positive note fireworks don't go off in celebration when you enter the light of day.

Heather a friend and I went to dinner last night at a Sizzler's. I know I go read a couple of times, by the staff and other customers, but as it happens most times, no one cares.  I have to go to Unemployment today and again no one cares.  I may get read, but no one cares.

In Oregon it seems that it is just accepted.  I am hopeful that I will get a job, but I am into much pain to look for now.


Janet

Surprisingly I have not had a bad experience yet. Sometimes I know if people really see me as passing and sometimes I know when they 'make' me and are just being courteous. But most of the time, frankly...I realy don't know. All I know is that whether they believe I'm a woman or are just being courteous, the experience has always been good so far.

Mind you, I've only been full time (outside of work) for a few weeks still....so I'm still waiting for a bad experience, the longer I go without one, the more likely one will happen, I'm betting.

As for employers, I haven't come out to my employer yet. My plan is to grow my hair out, work on my voice, and get on hormones for a few months first. Then we'll see how they take it...I don't have a lot of faith it will go well though.

Maybe apply to Microsoft, they pay for SRS anyway! hahaha

Seriously you gals out of work should look at waitressing. It pays well, and has a lot of other things going for it. My ex-GF works in the kitchen in the hospital near here, and makes over $20 an hour with great benefits, and the hospital staff is full of gay and trans people. I'm hoping to join that staff once my EMT training is done. At the hospital, whether a person is capable and kind matters most.

For me, no problems with the general public really. I've always passed as a guy part of the time anyway, now that people on the street who knew me as female know me, they're seeing me as more male and no problems, my standing up for myself and about 20 lbs more muscle helps too.

Frankly the public will pick on those with poor self esteem, and conversely, be just fine with those who are just fine with themselves.

I haven't had any problems with the general public since I transitioned. I used to have problems back in the Sixties when I was a long-haired, aggressive, radical, androgynous, and effeminate hippie with a far left agenda. I'm mellow now. Estrogen really works! Now lets get health care fixed.

                                  OBAMA in 2012 asuming the Mayans were wrong

I went to Victoria's Secret today for the first time. At first, the woman just sized me over my two shirts and sports bra and tossed bras under the door.

After a while, a much more helpful lady started assisting me and even came in and took topless measurements and helped adjust the straps.

I don't know what exactly the circumstances were. I'm pretty sure she realized what was going on and I was happy for the level of respect and courtesy and assistance she gave me. Wonderful girl.

If she wasn't just being supportive and kind, then I'd feel amazing - but I honestly doubt I passed at that point. Who really knows?

I actually saw the endo today - I slipped a note telling them my preferred name with my insurance card and that was that - of course they're also an area specialist on transsexuals, two doctors in the practice have extensive experience on TSism. The nurse taking my stats even asked me about my period (that always happens  .) The doctor was great, his staff was great, and the pharmacy I went to gave me no grief at all and I got an honest to USDA estrogen script filled.

It feels... really not good to have to be in a position to out yourself, but I decided today that as long as I'm receiving professional respect it's sufficient for now. So far I haven't had a bad experience. I'm so thankful.

Well done, Autumn.  It is alwya great to be treated with respect.


Janet